Chapter 29

I always grew up knowing the world didn't offer things that I couldn't have. I never questioned it as a child, and as a young girl in high society, all I knew was that the people around me would always, whether they liked it or not, be beneath me.

Alongside my high status, I had other brilliant qualities. My beauty would stun those who saw me a handful of times and those who saw me more than that would've already fallen deeply in love with me.

By these logics, there wasn't a single eligible or ineligible man that I couldn't have, except for him.

Cain Goldiar.

A man I fell for at first sight as his beauty rivalled my own. He practically glowed. What made him more desirable was the lack of interest he showed in me.

At first, it infuriated me. Why wouldn't it? I had always seen people, regardless of gender, flock towards me like I was an exotic species they could never mirror.

So I, for the first time, proposed an engagement. It didn't matter if he declined; nobody that held authority in the matter could. I knew his father would jump at the chance of having connections with a Lemone.

And so Cain Goldiar, who started glaring at me from a distance, more often than not, was now engaged to me.

It was bliss.

That beautiful man would come to love me. Everyman did. Every man saw his wife as a treasure, and knowing well that I was a rare treasure, he would love me.

I would be loved… by him.

I felt my brow twitch as I saw the sight of the man meant for me coming out of a carriage that a commoner could afford. And although my eyes were primarily drawn on him and his tired demeanour, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

She was plain. Some may consider her pretty if they hadn't laid eyes on beauty like mine, but she was by no means striking. I was even surprised I noticed her.

She resembled a tree among a forest, but she looked... Familiar.

But even then why was she leaving the very same carriage Cain had just left from? I eyed her for some sign of fluster or unkeptness. Something that would be enough evidence but there wasn't any. In fact, more than giddy or embarrassed she appeared… annoyed.

I oversaw her as she headed straight for the stables and then turned away, looking back to my cup of tea. I could see the delicate lift of my brow as I mused over what I had just witnessed.

I shook it off as nothing and instead thought about seeing Cain upon his arrival. I may have waited for more than a few hours, but it was worth it at that moment.

Cain, however, didn't show up.

It was dinner time when we saw each other. It didn't bother me. Or... I pretended it didn't so well it almost felt true.

He showed up, looking as fine as ever. I felt a jolt of excitement at the thought that we'd be married soon. Any inch of annoyance I may have felt dissipated as I watched him carefully with a painted smile.

"You don't need to show up here anymore".

The sudden statement startled me, and I blinked a moment before it set in.

"Why would you say that dear? Especially when we are going to marry soon", I forced myself to remain calm, to settle the nerves that poked at my heartstrings.

He snorted.

"Whoever said that?" he drawled as he ate a bit of his steak. He didn't even turn my way as he spoke.

"Well, it's obvious, with your father's apparent illness. We must make haste my dear, we can't allow the goldiar's image to fall after his"-

"Continue and you will commit treason".

The sudden coldness in the air, directed at me was so terribly instant that I found myself forgetting my words in fright. I realised every knight in the room although a mere four were ready to grab for me the moment I continued that sentence . Had it not been for my study of etiquette I would've struggled to compose myself.

No matter. When I'm duchess such things would never happen.

"My mistake, My dear. I only meant to say our time has come", I could barely avoid stuttering.

"Indeed, our time has come", at his words I brightened up.

"Yes dear! We must"-

" I no longer have to keep up with this engagement".

His words made me even more excited.

"Exactly, we can finally"-

"So how do we end this?". His words made me frown.

"End?- End what?" The earlier excitement was now gone.

He gave me a look that almost looked… pitiful.

"Sarah, Sarah Lemone. Let's face it. I didn't agree to this. I don't enjoy being tied down to anything and especially not a woman at that. I couldn't treat you like the princess you dream of. For me you'd just be a trophy that would gather dust with all my other accomplishments. I'd take lovers on exotic islands and you'd stay here. In this old house, decorating while hearing of your husband's rendezvous'." His voice that sounded like music to my ears broke apart my every fantasy of our future. It took my everything to look at him and say what I did next.

"When we marry, you will come to love me. I know you will!".

"You think I'll stay here long enough for that to happen?", he gave a dry laugh as he gave me that smile that once swept me off my feet

"Our honeymoon"-

"Honeymoon?!" He said with a bark of laughter, "you truly think I'll give you one of those? Don't be so naive, we both know I've come to dislike you too much to even think about sharing your bed".

The words cut through me like a spear. I felt my breaths labour deeply as I tried to stay calm. Try to be the lady I was made to be. But it hurt. A type of hurt I had never felt.

Cain dislike me so much to avoid my bed?

But nobody disliked me? Nobody…

I wasn't sure what expression I wore, but it made Cain laugh in that beautiful manner that was frighteningly cruel.

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't marry a man that wouldn't love me.

Because I could do so much better.

I could!

But… I still couldn't help but be fixed at the possibility of him loving me. It haunted me like a beautiful nightmare.

"Please. I love you", I was desperate.

Once, I planned to say these words when I wore a white dress and stood beneath him. My hand in his. But I couldn't careless at this moment. I wanted him. He was mine.

He stared back at me with a sneer, as if I were a dirty cockroach on his throne. I felt a feeling of disbelief rise up in me, and along it, came rage.

"I said I love you! Do you not hear me?", my voice, harsh as it was, was barely a whisper. I could feel my hands tremble and for some reason I could no longer keep my face composed.

When I saw my vision blur I realised it was too late. He had destroyed my elegant disguise and now I couldn't hold it anymore. I heard the thud of a thick bundle of paper, tied with a royal blue string, as he slammed it on the table. I knew what it was, even with my terrible sight.

"Sign it and go cry somewhere else. Somewhere where there might be a person who cares".

I didn't move. And just stared at the ground in fury as the heavy clumps of tears splashed on the red carpet.

"Sign it".

I felt my fingers twitch, but I forced them still.

"No! I won't!"