Chapter 36

I watched him eat calmly, and although that was a completely normal thing to do, I don't think I had ever seen him eat food without either glaring at me or burning me.

He just ate. Although, maybe a tad bit faster than usual and his face slightly more pinkish.

"Talk". He demanded as he sipped his tea.

I straightened my back for a moment and then paused and thought about my following words and actions. And then, with a confident smile, I sat down next to Cain on his bed which took his surprise.

"You don't mind me sitting here, do you?" I asked a bit more timidly than I intended.

"No… sit", he answered awkwardly.

It was the first I'd seen him so uncomfortable.

His bed was soft. Even softer than I thought it'd be. Long gone was the bed we spent many nights in together, replaced by a bed fit for a duke. My fingers nervously picked at the hairs of the blanket.

"There are some quite displeasing rumours about us", I began, feeling uneasy with saying what the rumours were precise.

"Rumours?" He raised a brow, leaning against his headboard.

"Yes. People had seen us at the wedding and misunderstood our- our relationship", I felt my face heat up.

Where was the confidence I had earlier?!

"Misunderstood. How exactly?" I noticed the strange lifting of the corner of his lips.

"They think…"

"Go on".

"That we have strange…. " I gulped as he nodded at me to continue, "relations".

"Relations? Of what sort?" Now he was full-on grinning, and had I not promised to change our relationship, I may have answered.

"Come on, Cain, you know what I mean!" I got up with my face flushed as I gave him an indignant look.

His look of surprise was almost satisfying as he processed my reaction, and then slowly, he became rather solemn. He gave me a look that was so mysterious I felt a prick of fear.

"What changed?" He asked, and I knew immediately what he referred to.

I hesitated for a moment. But somehow, I concluded being honest was my best bet.

"I ruined our relationship because of the duke- no. Because I was scared after your mother passed. I understood your anger, so I endured, but at some point, I forgot why I was being so cold to you. It took a bit of scolding for realising that the only one responsible for our relationship souring was me. So-" I paused to stand up and curtsy before the duke, "I'll repeat it, Cain, but this time sincerely. May I mend our broken ties?"

The duke stared down at me for a long moment before the lift of a smile was evident on his lips. It was genuine. He was happy-

"And what does that entail?" He asked as if I hadn't just poured my heart out to him!

I stared at him in wonder.

"I'm sorry?"

"You can't have the relationship we had as children with me", he stated as if it were apparent and why my confused face showed no changes. He sighed and elaborated, "when people tend to each other, read songs and give massages to lull another to sleep, kiss their bruising and greet them with kisses, that wouldn't seem like a friendship among adults of the opposite sex".

I felt my face burn as I recalled memories I had forgotten.

"It- It wouldn't be exactly like that! We can't do those things!"

"Can't we, though? Or did you intend to tell lies?" He smirked.

"Lies?! No, I didn't mean to lie!" I felt my face ripen like a Tomato.

"Then we can continue this relationship, no?" He teased continuously.

A strangled noise left my throat as I felt myself fluster even more at his words.

"Why not create some truth behind those rumours?" He continued, and then as if something had occurred to him, he gave an evil grin, "No, I know what I should do. I'll clear those rumours for you".

"You- You will?" I stuttered, barely recovering from my earlier shock.

"I will. If you prove the rumours true when it's just the two of us", he drawled as he rested on his headboard, arms behind his head as he watched me like a lazy lion.

"Prove them true? But wouldn't that contradict…" I stopped talking when I realised exactly what he meant.

He would clear the rumours up and have people perceive me as having a normal relationship if I… made that a lie.

I felt myself weighing the pros and cons.

The pros are that I wouldn't have to worry about men having their way with me after the rumours that painted me out as a loose woman are gone. That I wouldn't be ostracised and avoided by maids and even people. That I wouldn't deal with more rumours and sneers.

The cons… I would have to do only married couples to… the duchess' son and my childhood friend. Yet, when I looked at him, none of those factors mattered.

I drank in his beauty that outshone mine so much I found it almost unbelievable he would want to do much as desirably touch me. And the idea of him desiring me as a woman somehow made me feel excited.

"You're sitting there thinking so seriously. What exactly are your thoughts?" He took a long swig of his tea—fingers curling around the cup.

"I'm considering it…." I answered, feeling a tremendous amount of shame in admitting it.

"You are?" He leaned forward, eyes wider in surprise.

I found myself leaning back as I replied.

"Yes, but are you okay with this?" I asked, finding myself worrying more for him than myself.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He replied quickly as his eyes darkened a bit as they roamed my body. I noticed his fingers twitching.

"I will be the first person that you have such a relationship with. And I'm older than you and unattractive. In all honesty, I don't suit you" I felt my words ramble as I found myself somehow also looking along with his shoulder blades.

"Who said you were unattractive?" He muttered, his breath beating on me as he leaned closer.

"Yo-You did", I felt my voice shake.

I wanted to melt into him.

"Did I?" he answered almost absently, "I must've been mad".

Electricity shot through me as his lips touched my nape. He was travelling up my jaw in such a sweet and tender manner. A manner that didn't suit him but made me feel warm all over.

A strange gasp left my throat as I tried to speak.

"Will… you clear- the… rumours after?" I spoke between gasps and moans as I felt let his hands wash over me.

He grunted a reply as I felt his breath on me. He placed his lips carefully over mine. And then, he pushed deeper. His soft velvet lips mushed into mine so passionately that I slowly found myself pressing back.

Our hands became entangled in each other hair as we pulled over faces to each other. He pulled me towards him, hands on my waist as he pulled me over his legs, placing me on his lap.

I felt the carefulness of his hands that caressed my waist and stomach, moving higher until they brushed my breast. But I couldn't pull back to stop him. Even if I pushed him for a moment, he was so much more vital that I would get lost in his touch, in his kisses.

And then, in a sudden manner, he pushed me away so hard abruptly I would've fallen backwards had he not held me in place. We were both breathing hard, staring into each other's eyes. It was so clear he wanted to do it again as much as I wanted to, but he sat back as if he couldn't believe what he had done.

"That's enough for now. I'll call the servants and clear the rumours this afternoon", he stood up and strode towards his bathroom.

"Would-Would you like help getting dressed?" I politely managed to make out, but all I heard was prompt-

"No!"

And then the doors banged shut, leaving me alone to my thoughts.