Chapter 37

What did I do….?

What was I thinking?

Oh god… Did I kiss Cain...

Cain.

The duchess' child.

The boy who I saw as a brother growing up.

My employer.

My master.

The gravity of what had just happened seemed to hit me at once. My mind, trying to process what I had been thinking at the time, or rather why I hadn't been thinking!

Oh god! Now I've messed up big time!

I didn't know if I could face anyone.

Naomi. She would be so disappointed in me.

Angela? For some reason, I could see her being happy, but then again, she wouldn't understand why it would be wrong in the first place.

And then my heart gave an uncomfortable throb as I recalled Justin.

He wasn't coming back, so it didn't matter, but… I still felt guilty.

I noticed my dishevelled appearance in a passing mirror, noticing my pinker and plumper lips, clearly swollen. My hair was a lot messier and… I glanced at the clothes that looked a bit more creased and gave a sigh.

After fixing my appearance as much as I possibly could I returned to the kitchen where the passing maids still whispered. I frowned at it, face heating in humiliation because now it wasn't false rumours.

"Isabelle!" Naomi called me and gestured to the stairs with her index finger. "Go upstairs by the sick duke. He's barely conscious these days, so he shouldn't be any trouble to you".

Her reassurance wasn't necessary because I would've cleaned the stables to be out of sight from the maids. I gave a submissive nod and walked as fast as I could without running or appearing inelegant. But once the maids became scarcer as I walked up the stairs, I found myself slowing down tremendously and walking much slower.

The idea of facing the duke suddenly had me scared.

Would he realise?

Would he know?

What if he sells me to a brothel?

What if he has me beheaded in front of everyone?

It took a while before I confidently opened the door to see a frail man completely unconsciously in a bed that looked far too large for him. He had become so thin that the sheets looked like they must be crushing him. And he breathed so lightly he looked dead.

He looked like he "should" be dead.

As if his body couldn't cope, but he willed himself to live.

It was almost laughable that I once feared such a man.

"Who is it?" He croaked, startling me.

He wasn't unconscious…

"Isabelle, my duke", I answered calmly.

"Isabelle?…" he frowned slightly as the name seemed unfamiliar, and then he let out a sigh. "The slave girl".

"… Yes", my hands trembled.

"I must look like a joke to you. Dying from an unknown disease while you walk around in great health" he gave a loud hacking cough. It lasted long enough for me to realise he needed a glass of water.

I held his head slightly higher, perching the glass by his lips and slowly pouring it into his mouth. Most of it spilt out. He couldn't even swallow.

I cleaned him up, finding a strange disgust at the fact that I had to touch him physically, but it satisfied me knowing he felt humiliated at this all.

Once he calmed, he continued.

"I should've killed you when you came to this manor. Unfortunately, I was quite soft back then and didn't realise what raising you in the manor would mean", he began, his words trailing off as he seemed barely in focus.

I wasn't sure what that meant.

"You don't even know your father do you?" He asked.

"I don't".

"Let it be that way. You are better off not knowing. If you do not know, then my boy will not either", he concluded. It almost sounded like he was sleep talking. His voice was faint and between slow breaths.

"Why?" I couldn't help myself. The duke hadn't ever spoken to me like this before, and to get a chance to understand why he had hurt me was something I've only had very violent fantasies of. Ones that ended in me lashing back.

"Why?… have you ever heard of the tale of the wise fellow?"

I knew the tale, but only because Angel had read it an adult book and thought it was insightful. I did not share her opinion.

It was a waffled story about a man who journeys through a town, sleeps with just about every man's wife except for the mayors. The mayor and his wife were very much in love and loyal to one another, and as the wise man hated to see such a scene he couldn't taint, he stayed with them under the pretext of being a scholar.

He didn't sleep with the mayor's wife and instead seduced her and left just before their relationship became more than just glances and laughs. It was his way of revenge to go and leave the marriage broken and unhappy because.. he could.

Angela found the story intriguing, and I gave her the most disappointed look I could muster. It was a pretty lousy tale. Yet somehow popular among people.

Although I wasn't sure why the story had any relevance until I thought about it a little more, was my father like the wise man? Or was it much deeper?

"Yes, I do".

The duke didn't answer.

He had fallen asleep, it seemed, and I gave a loud sigh. Realising this was going to be the most boring job the manor had to offer. It wasn't a wonder that there wasn't a soul insight here. Whether people were scared of the contagious disease or would do anything other than care for a sick person, it didn't matter.

It was probably hours later when there was a knock on the door. I flinched out of my restless nap, stood up from the chair and opened the door.

It was Kassie. The only maid that treated me normal as of recent but I doubt that mattered anymore. Or at least I thought until she said.

"Ah, Isabelle! The duke gave a speech about how you guys were childhood friends. I knew you having a weird relationship with him sounded sketchy but to think the rumours had such a cute reason behind them" she talked when she talked, and I found myself manoeuvring the conversation outside

as to not disturb the sick duke.

"I see. I'm glad things are clearer now since the misunderstanding put the duke in an awkward position" I felt bile in my throat as I gave a fake sheepish laugh.

"Don't be silly. Nobles do stupid things all the time, but they rarely speak on behalf of people like us", she grinned in a dreamlike manner, mirroring Angela in some ways, "oh to be so close with such a man, I can't help but be jealous of you".

"I wouldn't be", I reassured her as I suddenly found myself questioning why she was even speaking to me.

"Did you know this place is quite famous" she suddenly said.

"Is it?" I raised a brow. I didn't have much of a comparison.

"Yes. I heard the duke housed"-

"Kassie!"

We both flinched as Naomi's roaring voice sounded out in the quiet halls. We gave each other a sheepish smile, mine leaning more to the worried side.

"I best be off. See you later!"

I watched her run off with so much energy I almost felt jealous.

To be that carefree…

But what was she saying?