DAY TWO

DATE: Thu 20/03/2020

You know you get thing what you longed for and loose What you had it for long ,yeah that happened today.

My best friend, or childhood friend or my first love or my first crush you call him anything Amoung these he was all of the above mentioned term to me.

That stupid I don't know how but found out about my medical term, I tried hiding it for long but I guess because I have been avoiding him for long like real real long by saying some random stuff like, I am busy or on a date with someone and i lied to him that I am seeing someone so don't disturb shit Lile that.

I thought he only think me as friend and he won't give a fuck but Bitch I was wrong. this guy came running to my room.

hugs me real tight and cries yeah legit cries and said ,why you have to do it all alone.

I wont lie but I cried too yeah cause I felt little lonely that I am carrying all pain all alone.

we cried and talked for more then 3 hours. finally when we stopped he went All silent and said something I longed to hear that words ,those presious words "I LOVE YOU FOR VERY LONG TIME" I freaking slapped him on his back because we were hugging and ain't you too late to say it. he nodded and said yeah I am I am sorry I am really sorry but for the time left let us enjoy our time.

It was sad happy moment ,again silence in whole room. after some good 15mins point to note we are still hugging :->

He said get ready by 6 I'll pick you up I have a suprise. I was like no need for that I swear I was pretending because from inside I was jumping Like little kid just got what he wants.

Now you got the real feeling about what I said earlier "You get thing what you longed for and loose thing you had for long"

He said his goodbye and left the room I supposed that and I was jumping and accidently hit the edge of my bed you can feel pain in one sentence hitting the edge of bed is that pain.

He immediately slipped in room and carried me bridal style and put me on bed ^_^ ^o^

no I am sorry I joked nothing happened like that, he just helped me sit on bed and wishpered, I didn't saw you jumping like kid, and I love you and he left, he left my heart beating fast, he left me to breathe heavily, he left those butterfly love in my stomach he left me with I want him more feeling. ugh I fucking can't explain this feeling I sometimes feel why these words are less to express this much emotion.

fast forward with permission to my parents I got ready for out date I supposed and he picked me up. he was wearing Same T-shirt I often said I liked it. and same cologne I liked. I too wored same dress he liked me in .we both blushed at the thought of our choices for eachother.

today I wish I had time and people had told us how perfect couple we were.

we enjoyed alot like my moment was filled with laughter but little inside we both were hiding our tears, sometimes I hate the fact that I am Dieing .

we stopped at park I guess where we met , our meeting is a funny incident, I told him i remember about our first meeting and he was embarrassed, because that it embarrassing .

He asked, "Do you know why I choose you as my best friend and love of my life " ugh that love of my life term held me crazyy.

I looked at him just gesturing with my eyes to go ahead he said because you never judged for being who I am there are lots of reasons but this one blows aways my mind.

Then our eyes locked we could hear eachother heart beat and fainting sound of kids around. we were under the same tree far for others.

For spilt seconds I realized what was happening we were kissing eeeeeeeeeeeee

I was happy sad angry no explanation to my feelings.

My first love and my first kiss on my last days was perfect for me .but thing has to come to end that feeling ended too when our lungs longed for oxygen more then desire of Dieing in our first kiss.

we stopped and he was looking at me I blushed real hard and sun setting he said ,thank you because of you I just realized the beauty of first kiss.

and the day ended with all force and praying I prayed not the end the days but still no one is in control .

I don't know if this is the end of my love story but the start is pretty good .and here this is moon night I am writing this diary, I never found writing this diary This beautiful before.

is this because of my last moment or I am just realizing beauty late. I don't know

for now good night. I am excited for next day.