Affection

"Hey, what happened to your cheek?"

When I heard Nokto's quiet voice questioning me, I stopped to sweep the floor.

I smiled reassuringly as I tilted my head toward him.

"It's nothing to be concerned about, young master!"

"... I knew it."

His eyes wavered under my gaze as I looked at him questioningly as he suddenly averted his gaze away from me.

"The other maids... harassed you, right?"

Despite the fact that I was the one who was harassed, his voice was trembling and heavy, as if he were in my position.

Nokto's face has a disturbed expression on it, as if he doesn't know what to say or how to show his concern.

It was because he's not used to worry about other people, because he's busy taking care of himself.

"... Why don't you quit from your position?"

His grip on the blanket became firmer, and his eyes narrowed in wonder.

(... This situation is strangely familiar.)

There was a time in my previous life when I was bullied by my classmates for three years in middle school.

Reading [Blessings of Glory] was the only thing that kept me survive during my darkest days, despite how difficult it was.

Because I observed Nokto, despite being more miserable than me, fighting so hard to live his life, while I was on the verge of giving up on mine.

He's the only reason I've grown into the person I am today.

(Why don't you just give up?)

I asked that every time the story became more and more unbearable to read while I was reading the book.

"... Young master, isn't it rude to ask someone to quit their job?"

As a response, I gave him a gentle smile, and his eyes widened in disbelief as he turned his head toward me.

"I-I'm just saying! Everything would be easier for you if you just quit or never took this job in the first place! I-not it's like I'm worried about you or anything-"

He continued to ramble on, unable to find suitable words to say. It was like he doesn't know how to be honest or it's just that he wants to hide the fact he's worried about me.

"But if I didn't take this job in the first place, I would miss my chance to meet someone as amazing as you, young master."

"I-"

His cheeks flushed as soon as I finished my sentences, and he was so taken aback that he cut off his own lines.

"What is it young master?"

I continued to smile at him but he bit his bottom lips and even refused to meet my gaze.

"Just treat your cheeks first!"

"Right, right~"

I returned to his room to ask him for an outing after treating my cheek and washing my face as he ordered.

(He hardly ever leaves his room.  Even if there are many wild plants and wilted flowers, a stroll in the garden might be nice.)

"Young master, how about we go outisde for exercise?!"

I joyfully offered him, my eyes gleaming with delight as I gazed at him, who was peacefully reading his book.

"I don't want to."

He rejected me without hesitation, but I anticipated that, though I didn't expect to be so upset by his rejection.

"Hu~ please young master, this lowly servant wants to go out with you~ I'll be very~lonely~ if you don't come along..."

I faked my tears, averting my gaze from him since his expression turned into panic.

"F-fine alright?! Geez, can't you just walk wihout me..."

"Thank you, young master!"

Afterward, I prepared him for an outing although he was embarrassed everytime I changed his clothes.

When I changed his clothes, though, I noticed a number of old scars on his body.

Before he was taken to the pavilion, he was undoubtedly abused by the Duchess and Duke.

I was furious at first and wanted to rip their heads off and throw the shit out of it.

But it was quickly replaced by sadness when I noticed Nokto's discomfort as I examined his scars.

He was upset, and it frustrated him for a little moment.

But now, since I was used to change his clothes, he doesn't seem to mind it anymore.

"... Hmm, young master, how about I put ointment on your scar?"

With a calm voice, I offered him, mindful of my own words, which might have triggered him.

He remained silent for a brief moment before speaking up with a curious tone.

"Why? It won't disappear either."

"Maybe it would make you feel a lot better after we put some."

(... Maybe it won't actually heal the scar, but I might make Nokto mentally better.)

"... Do what you want."

"Then, can I touch the scar?"

I smiled softly at his forlorn gesture as he slowly nodded his head in agreement.

(Nokto, I'm always envious of you.)

I took the ointment and asked him to sit in the chair before putting on his clothing, which he did.

Despite the fact that the scars on his body have healed, I delicately apply the ointment to each one as carefully as I can.

(I hope this would make him feel better.)

"Let's pretend that the young master received these wounds today. Then I apply the wound now, and I promised tomorrow will be healed, although it will leave scars!"

I gave him a wide grin, but he averted his gaze away from me. I put the ointment back in its place after applying it on him, deciding not to push him to look at me.

"It's done! Now I will choose you a comfortable clothes so we can happily go to our first outing!"

I smiled, hoping to brighten the otherwise gloomy mood. Nokto's cheeks reddened for some reason at the same time.

***

We sat next to one other on a bench in the gazebo after arriving in the garden.

I brought several books for him to read which I placed next to him.

"It's been a while since I go out..."

I smiled as he spoke loudly enough for me to hear.

It must have been difficult for him to leave his room since everyone's attention was drawn to him because he never went outside.

Their gazes are not even the kind ones, it's more like asking why he would go outside and make the atmosphere uncomfortable around them.

It was the same gaze I received in my previous life, which I had grown accustomed to.

Even Nokto was ignoring everyone, keeping his gaze forward without looking back at them.

(He's really much stronger than I was.)

I breathed quietly as a neutral smile rose to my lips and I thought to myself.

(It's really refreshing here.)

Despite the fact that the garden had been neglected for years, it was a pleasant spot for Nokto and me to take a breath of fresh air.

Nokto saunteringly picked up a book and began to read it. Since the Duchess forbade him from reading books for education, it was only a fairy tale book.

(Should I... buy him some books?)

The sound of the pages turning and the occasional breeze rustling the leaves added to the coziness of the moment, as if Nokto and I were the only ones in the world.

"Nokto, what kind of story are you reading?"

I asked out of curiosity, and he didn't appear to mind, despite the fact that he was still reading.

"... It's a story about a stupid bear and his family."

Hearing his rough response, I chuckled lightly.

"Why don't you refer the bear as a 'kindhearted' rather than 'stupid'?"

I flashed him a friendly smile. Since it's a common story in this world, I already read it over my break at work.

A fantasy story about a bear who made a deal with a human. To protect the bear's family, the kind-hearted bear agreed to be hunted instead, as long as the human fulfilled his word and allowed the kind-hearted bear's family to live.

However, the human felt guilty since the kind-hearted bear and his family reminded the human of his own family, and he decided to let go of the bear and his family.

That way, everyone lived happily ever after.

Since it's also fairy tales for children, the story is well-known.

"... This bear is the definition of stupid."

A frown crept on Nokto's face.

"Why would he sacrifice his life for his family? He should care about his own life first, or make a strategy so everyone won't get killed."

"... Young master, in the end, everyone didn't get killed."

"But it was because the human changed his mind! In real life, both the stupid bear and his family would be killed after the human tricked the stupid bear into thinking that he would let go of the stupid bear's family."

(Oh...)

Hearing him deny it with such negativity despite the fact that the story is only a fairy tale reminded me of how difficult his life was, and words like love and family appeared to trigger him frequently.

However, he enjoyed the story because he had never known what it was like to be loved by family. He was intrigued by the concept of affection.

"Young master."

I gave him a gentle smile and pointed to the book.

"That's because the bear loves his family, and his love reminded the human of his own family."