ONE MORE DAY 4

                  Chapter 4

Quotes: TIME IS DIFFERENT WHEN WE GRIEVE  SEPARATED NOW IN TWO PARTS THE YESTERDAY AS MEMORIES AND THE TOMORROW IN OUR HEARTS

    BEYONCE: BROKENHEARTED

                           GIRL     

     I awoke to the knock on the door, I must have been so tired that I didn't know when I fell asleep.

      "Marco" I said and rushed to the door, all I wanted was my marco in my arms.

        "Good day ma'am"

        "Good day officers, how many I help you"

            "Well ma'am are you marco swan wife"

        " yes officers I am , is any thing the matter ,is he in trouble" I asked without without even giving them a chance to answer

     "You see ma'am we will like you come to our office" the elderly officer said

    "No officer, I will not go anywhere with you until tell me what is wrong with my husband" I said sounding so sure

    " well  then ma'am I think you will have to sit down first" the female officer said.

    "No officer I am perfectly fine standing"I  said giving them an assuring nod

    After minutes of exchanging glances at each other the elderly officer finally spoke

    "Um ma'am you see there has been an accident and marco was involved "

  And that was all it took to send me into labour. And with one scream, I fell to the floor before I could get to the floor  the female officer caught me  preventing me from hitting myself.

Oh heavens why my marco , why heavens where the words in my head, I felt my heart stop as my eyes became an over flooded river.

As I was been rushed into the hospital I kept on screaming, the pain of child's birth was nothing compared to the pain in my heart, my last words to my marco, the hurt in his eyes, the unshed tears he tried to hide when he left that night. Heavens no take my life and bring back my marco, was all i could ask for.

       "Ma'am you have to push to save your baby" a nurse said

I could hear her but I was lost in my thoughts, what  a baby without marco, it was his dream, images of marco happy face the night I told him I was pregnant appeared in head oh how he wanted this, I thought as tears rolled down my eyes , and as if summoning on my last strength I pushed

         (Cry of a baby )

   " oh my it a boy "  the nurse said before darkness over took me.

          (Beep, Beep, Beep )

I struggle  to open my eyes, I thought it was a dream, I will wake up to see my marco, still sleeping or sitting in the couch , playing his game as usual and I will hug him and tell him I love him

But as my eyes opened and my surroundings became clear to me , reality hit me , my marco was dead , and like the heavens let loose my tears ran again.

   "No marco, please ,come back to me I don't mean any of the words I said  " I kept on saying to no one in particular. I was pulled out of my thought by the cry of a baby.

And there he was my son ,our son he reflected the sun as the sun shined on him 

   "Ma'am except you want him to die of starvation , I suggest you feed him" a nurse standing nonchalantly on the door frame, who I didn't know had been standing there said.

I hesitated for a while before picking him up without looking at him  and began to feed him.

Later that day the same officers who had broken the news of marcos death to me came with some document for me to sign.

They said he had collided with a parked fuel tanker and his vehicle exploded, his body was burnt.

    "Ma'am is there anything you need" the female officer asked

I wanted to ask her if I could see his body, I still wanted to see his body, I know I have every right to,but guilt wouldn't let me.she shouldn't even be answering me , she should be arresting me and throwing me behind bars for hurting his feelings.

     "Umm , officer ..."

       "  Gwen"

       "Huh"

        " my name is Gwen , okay, so call me Gwen"

        "Hmm okay"I nodded in agreement

      " So what is it you wanted to say?" She asked smiling

     " can you help me find out where he will be be buried"

     " sure but don't you want to see him for the last time" she asked surprised 

      I looked down trying to hid the tears in my eyes how  will I face him when it was I who throw him out in that cold weather.

    " I understand "

    " and please can you lead me your car  , you see i....."

      "You don't  need to explain okay, and yes you can keep it for a while till you husband car is repaired or returned by the insurance company okay" she smiled handing over the keys to me

She was a nice lady, if my heart wasn't bleeding right now I would have taken her on a date or asked for her digit but of what use was it now.

     "Well , if you need anything else, here is my number" she said writing it on a paper close to my bed .

  I nodded in silence  and I watched her leave and I was left alone with my thoughts.

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