. -.-- .

The expectant turn of events would be of the wind rustling the leaves, the loneliness I would feel in the grove would grant me an epiphany. But really, even if the leaves rustled, and eventually fall-the loneliness is present, but the epiphany won't be the gift given.

I sigh heavily, my thoughts non-triumphant. Nothing is coming to my mind. His name rings in my head but no memories come to light. Recollecting was harder than I thought.

Times when he waited for me after school, the look in his eyes when he talked about his parents. He felt concerned but worried. Walking home together, he would be soaked in sweat from his basketball practice. I remind him if he brought his spare. His face of regret the moment once reminded, never fails to make me laugh. A routine, not annoying, surprisingly, but just normal.

It's normal to talk to him besides studies. It's normal to be more patient with him. It's normal at school to be together all the time and even if I wasn't, he would still talk heading home. All this normalcy, it's more than just being comfortable and purely natural. Is it really normal?

Or is this really special?

Although I modestly claim myself to be a good A student, I don't think I'm smart enough in connecting all kinds of dots. More specifically, the elusive dots to my relationship with Nathan. Frustration arises as I continuously fail to see the bigger picture, stomping back out from the grove.

The clouds darken slightly overhead and the wind starts picking up. The cold wind beats against my skin. Another rainy day, no doubt. In this case, we would head back to the school's library. We normally don't hang around there since the school's library doesn't have the additions we want.

Amari's face was as dark as the clouds outside. Catherine figured we weren't on good terms. A low rumble vibrated through the lobby outside, something told me it might have been Amari's grumble instead. "Caleb, is it getting dark outside?" With a nod, we quickly packed our things, placed the books on the counter and grabbed our umbrellas.

"Aw man, I hope it doesn't continue to rain after school," sighed Nathan. Being part of the school's only basketball team, the pressure would be crushing him to perform well, they didn't even have enough members for back-up.

"Don't be too hopeful Nathan, it's monsoon season, it's bound to rain everyday. On top of that, don't take the opportunity to try and play in the rain. Just don't," Catherine slightly bugged by the idea of Nathan's rebellious nature to go against everything everyone says. Catherine, Amari and I had to take turns bringing his homework back to him, helping him with notes when he got such a terrible fever several weeks before the final school examination, unsure if he was able to recover in time.

We just don't want the same thing happening because it's the real national assessment that no one should ever miss.

Thunderclouds formed outside of the library, rain drops looked like slits in reality, distorting your surroundings subtly, tricking you that there is no rain. What awaits us outside is more than just rain, piercing tears from the rumbling grey clouds and feuds we would never understand in the heavens.

We jogged our way back to the school, the stall lady selling the meat buns was no longer there, the roads were barren, only a few cars speeding through the lanes. Whispers from the sky turned into howling, blowing against the back of my ear.

We didn't stop running until we climbed two flights of stairs. Mind you, cement stairs with water aren't the best combination. Folded our umbrellas and dropped our bags right next to the door to the library.

Amari, not trying to fall over from exhaustion, panted, "Hah!...I...I got here fi-first!" No one objected because no one could, everyone else with their palms on their knees. Nathan recovered quickly, retorting, "Well, that was because you got a head start," he pulled back his hair, his white shirt covered in sweat, "but even if you won… you still owe someone lunch."

"Gosh dang it! I forgot again, well thanks for the friendly reminder," tired of being bossed around, Amari headed back downstairs to the canteen to get my 'lunch'. Catherine smirked, enthused by Amari's behaviour, picking back up her bag and her motivation to study, "I'll head in first guys."

"That is one hectic run. At least it was still drizzling when we got back," as the rain got heavier, dropping himself on the floor, slightly worn out from the exercise. I tried to keep my composure but I just ended up falling down on the floor too. I look at his arms, water trickling down, being guided by its muscular form.

"Yeah, that sure was lucky," looking out towards the dullen sky and the constant pitter-patter from the rooftop. I reflected on Amari's words: why do I like him? I stare at him as he stares out into the grey sky. A sudden wave of thoughts rushed over me. Habitually, I began rubbing my arms while aimlessly staring at Nathan's now translucent shirt, the near ivory skin sticking to the uniform.

I want to focus my attention on something else, not think about this. My stomach was turning knots. It's purely nerve wrecking. My focus is still transfixed, my senses are numbed that I can't feel my relentless rubbing on my arms. The words are right there on my tongue, swallowing it every time it wants to escape. The sounds around me deafen, the distance of time lengthening.

Should I ask him now?

Just as I begin to shift my weight forward, leaning towards Nathan, Amari hops in front of me holding a chicken floss bun wrapped in plastic, "Here you go, your lunch has been served."