- ---

"Caleb, hello? Your bun- your lunch!" frustrated for not accepting her gift for so long as I sat there still glazed over from my numbness. Being pulled back into reality felt like bricks dropping itself back on top of me. I hiccuped, saying, "Th-thank you for the lunch Amari."

She gleamed once again in pride, happily finishing off her chore reminded dearly by Nathan. Looking at how she scooped her bag and swung the library door open, her hair trailed in the gust of wind; even with the happy facade she was giving off, her voice was silently screaming at me.

"T-thanks again Amari!" as I pointed out my guilt, she waved her hand before closing the door. Now it's just back to me and Nathan, and the lunch. Feeling more assured that nobody else would bother us, I tried formulating the words before it exploded out of my mouth.

"Hey Nathan, I have a question, I-I know it's a bit out of the blue, but can I get your opinion on, uhm, your perspective on lo-love?"

Asking such a question, I tilted my head down in embarrassment, quickly opening the bun as a mere distraction from my face. The plastic crackles loudly, my hands slipping barely getting a grip to open it.

He gently tilts his head, looking at me struggling terribly. I try a few more times, but it was pointless, firstly asking the stupid question and secondly having Nathan look at me at my worst! I fiddle with my lunch. He's still watching me, fully aware of how terrible I am at wasting time. Giving up, I gesture the plastic bag to him, he chuckles as he receives it, swiftly opening the plastic and giving it back to me.

"I think that's what love is to me," as he shrugs his shoulders and retracts to his original position.

"That doesn't explain anything! It's not even an answer!" I exclaimed in frustration, at this rate I won't be able to get anything out of Nathan. To calm my nerves, I hastily ate my meal and was too boiled over to worry about the crumbs flying everywhere.

"Why did you ask that question anyway, Caleb? You've been watching romance dramas with Amari since the day you came to our school," his face lit up, reminiscing on the past, "Wouldn't forget about 'Curry guy', being so unphased and cool about the whole situation, Amari tagging you behind trying to make up for her mistake. I don't know if you had the curry noodles beforehand, your face was just red!"

His three dimples were showing, his guffaw echoed down the stairwell. I got shy being reminded of my embarrassing first day. Wasn't that wonderful. Covering my face was not the most obvious sign of how much I was affected by the whole situation when I felt something warm brush against my hands.

"Ok, ok I'll stop talking about it. Well maybe, for now. Just...just you don't need to hide your face everytime something you don't want to hear comes up," looking at him smile seemed better than having the darkness as my only memory. Relaxing my hands, I briefly lay my hand in his pulsating palm. From his smile, I moved my gaze to his eyes.

Call me crazy but I didn't hear the loud thunder or the rain anymore. Is this those warm fuzzy feelings you get from the romance shows that Amari has been showing me?

His eyes aren't moving anywhere, just locked on mine. Gazing back didn't feel strange, it just locked itself into place, like it was meant for each other. I don't just see his eyes, I feel the pain and joy that came out of it. The tears always made his eyes swollen and his eyes red, no matter how little he cried.

The weight of my hands firmly pressing against his felt warmer than before. The same callous palms from before and even if it didn't feel smooth for a young guy like him, I knew this was Nathan and no one else.

For a moment I felt his hands tense and grasp my fingers in return. Unsure what else he might do as his grip tightens around my hand, I inhale sharply, preparing myself for whatever comes next, if I can still process everything that he is doing.

"Your hands. Caleb, the-they're shaking," a sudden rush of blood raced up my neck and felt the sharpness of the cold momentarily. Being snapped back to reality never felt more painful. His face turned into concern and worry, just like this morning from the accident. I feel nothing of what he is saying, my mind doesn't know what my body is feeling.

"I-I don't know wh-why," my head is blank, I don't even remember what I asked him earlier. My chest tightens, closing my eyes from the pain. In attempts to recollect myself, my head loses its balance several times, negating the feeling with more confusion wasn't the best remedy but I'm scaring him and myself because I don't know what I'm doing.

Exhaling, I opened my eyes, Nathan's face was mirroring my feelings of uncertainty from what just happened. "Hey, Nathan, don't worry about this whole thing. Even from what happened this morning, maybe there are just a lot of coincidences on my birthday."

Nathan was perplexed at my statement but didn't want to argue with me anymore. He stands up, looks down at me but his eyes shift greatly as if a void formed in him. That terrified me for a moment. Looking at his reactions, I probably caused him to feel this way that he is the reason for getting me all jittery and being in pain.

My mind is shaking me, begging me to say something to stop him. I just need to tell him it's not his fault, none of it is, everything he is doing with me, for me, doesn't disappoint me and I'm just happy the way things are.

Don't go, please!

His back faces me, picking up his bag as he heads into the library. He opens the door while I'm still on the floor. I want to tell him it's fine. I know what I did wrong.

Stop!

"I'll see you inside, Caleb."