23

"Where do you wanna have dinner?"

"We just—"

As I was just about to say that we just finished eating, Mina cut me off and even glared at me. "I'm so tired of all the games we played, you know. I think I'm craving pasta tonight." She turns to Theo. "How 'bout you, Mr. Villa?"

His eyes widened at what Mina had just called him. He was never really a fan of such formalities. "Please, just call me Theo." He chuckles.

Mina clasps her hands together, happy that they were going to call each other on a first name basis. "Right! You can also call me Mina. So, you wanna eat pasta for dinner?"

He shrugs. "Whatever Gem— I mean, Ms. Lenz wants."

In my peripheral vision, I see Mina giving me a disgusted look. I sigh. "Just call me Gem or whatever." I look at both of them. "I guess we'll be having pasta for dinner then."

They both smile in glee just by hearing what we'll be having for dinner. It's like they're more meant to be best friends rather than Mina and I. They clicked rather quickly, but then Mina was always easy to approach although she'd often look like she's pissed at you without doing anything.

"Alright, Hazel."

I stiffen at the nickname. Not because I hated it but because it made me feel things that I haven't felt in a long time. Slowly, I feel my cheeks burning up.

Mina was looking at us, dumbfounded. Theo was smiling mischievously while my cheeks were probably painted crimson just because of a single word.

"Hazel?" Mina asked him.

He shakes his head, not wanting to give the nickname more attention. I know that he doesn't want others to know what that meant to us. It somehow became a name only we both know of.

"I think we should head to the counter now if we want to eat dinner." He pushes the cart when Mina doesn't move a muscle, probably still thinking of what happened.

I hit her softly with my elbows. "Hey, let's go."

Theo volunteered to push the cart for us, after he got the materials he needed, and we (obviously it was just me) paid for the books we bought. We went out of the bookstore to finally go to the restaurant Mina fancied. And while Mina was talking to me nonstop, Theo was just sometimes beside us or behind us. He was laughing occasionally but he never really interacted much. I was guessing he thought that he was hindering us from

bonding.

When I noticed that, I slowly grabbed his arm to pull him beside me. He was letting himself walk slowly again to lag behind. I let go of him after, though. "You're awfully quiet, Theo. Is something the matter?"

I see Mina smirk on my right side but I shake it off. Theo—with a smile on his face—smiles and shakes his head. "Nothing. I just… It's entertaining enough for me to see you both converse without me. Just act like I'm not here."

I roll my eyes without the intention to. "I think it's you thinking that you're stopping us from having a great time. I'm telling you, you're not. And I don't think silence fits you, Theo." I chuckle.

Fortunately, when we ordered at the restaurant and were waiting for our food, Theo was finally conversing with us.

It was mostly him and Mina. They were talking about me as if I was not even there.

"You've found a common topic, 'no?" I butt in.

"Yeah. A topic we both like." Mina winks disgustingly. And he nods.

Ugh, these two! It was like they wanted me to get annoyed.

"And before, she was really, I mean reaaally, competitive."

Mina gasps. "Omygod. Up until now she's like that! Sometimes, in the most trivial things, she's competitive."

"She's competitive in a good way and we like that. She likes to study herself and when she finally understands more, she does her best to become a better version of herself and that's one of the things I love about her. She's selfless but sometimes selfish. But she doubts herself."

I was quietly listening to the words that had come out of his mouth. 'She's selfless but sometimes selfish.' Yes, I was. And I surely doubted myself so much and I lacked the confidence in myself. I didn't want my books to be published because I wasn't ready to be criticised. I felt like if I heard words not to my liking, I'd break down. I felt like nothing I wrote would satisfy people who would read my book. Because, maybe, that's what my parents made me feel.

Nothing I ever did was enough to satisfy them.

"Gem?" Mina shook my shoulders. "You're spacing out. Are you okay?"

Slowly, my lips formed into a smile. I was lucky enough to have met Theo back then because without him, I wouldn't be able to step out of my comfort zone. Without Mina, I wouldn't be able to stay strong and strong willed. They both became a big part of my life. Although things with Theo and I aren't still okay, I appreciate him. And I think this was enough for me to realize that I'll give him a chance to explain. Maybe someday, it's okay to let the high walls I've built have a small opening for him.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just thought of something."

Shortly after that, our orders arrived. I was also conversing with them about different topics. We talked about some things from the past (avoiding ours, though), funny encounters we've had with different people, and future plans we had seen way before. It was like having a great time with two meaningful people and it made me feel like… more grown up? I don't really know.

"Well, aside from publishing books, I think I'm going to considering building a place for children to learn how to read and write. I've done that back then, volunteering for small companies like that."

"Right!" I gleamed. "You were working there when we both first met, right? I think that'll suit you. You do great with kids."

He chuckles. "And I've come to a liking with that job. Especially now that more children are not given proper education because they do not have the means to have knowledge they deserve. They don't have the money to and I want to be someone who's willing to teach without them having to think about how they would avail knowledge they have rights to."

I admit, it did quite make my heart flutter. Because Theo was nothing but very thoughtful of others, more than he was back then. He always thought of others and what they need.

Mina smiles. "That's nice. We can sometimes join, if that's okay."

He gives us a thumbs up and chuckles. His smile was reaching from eye to eye, a sign that he was very happy and ecstatic because he got to share a part of his dreams to us. Theo was the kind of person who loved to talk about the things he'd like to do in the future, things that pique his interest, and things that will benefit others. It made me happy because he did not become someone I imagined him to be. He was like the old Theo I used to be with but now, someone more mature.

Days pass by so quickly. Meetings with Theo seemed more comfortable now that I think I'm starting to want to talk to him about /it./ We also frequently have meals with Mina, but never one with Daniel and Christian. The two didn't know about the meals the three of us had nor the closeness Theo and I were starting to build again.

But today, I think the heavens wanted the two old men to know.

Theo and I—casually having our meeting and asking the opinions of each other—were teasing each other, causing me to playfully roll my eyes at him when Daniel suddenly barged in the meeting room.

He was busy looking at his Ipad. "Gem! So about my account, I can't seem to—" he stops. He looked at us with baffled eyes when he saw us laughing.

"Daniel!" I stood up hastily, not knowing how to act. I mean, it's not as if I'm hiding something for me to get all awkward when he just sees us laughing and playfully hitting each other from time to time.

He clears his throat and averts his eyes. "Uhm, I—uhh, am I interrupting ng something?" Daniel scratches the back of his head.

I fervently shake my head. "No, no!" I shake my head in dismissal.

"We were just having a meeting for the book," Theo says calmly.

"Right. Uhm, I better go now." He looks at me. "Gem, text me if you're done, okay?"

I nodded my head and of course, sent out a breath of relief. God it would be chaotic if those two knew I was getting comfortable around him again.

"Around who?"

Huh? Did I say that out loud?

"Yeah, you did say it out loud." He softly chuckles. "Who are you getting comfortable with?"

I sat down, almost letting the couch engulf me because I would hate to answer his question. With my most quiet voice, I answer him. "You."

He stopped moving for a moment, maybe even stopped breathing because of what I had just said. "Me?" He chuckles, refusing to believe that I just said I was getting comfortable with him.

I nod albeit a little bit hesitant. "Yeah."

Then, he laughs. Not an irritating kind of laugh but a kind of laugh you'll want to hear, to record. It's been a long time since we got to laugh around each other comfortably.

"You've always been reserved, Gem. It even took me a long time before you finally got to warm up to me. Back then, even telling me how your day was was hard enough for you, to tell how you really feel, to show what you really feel. It all took a long time before you finally did those with me with ease. Hearing that you're finally feeling comfortable with me means so much to me; it makes me ecstatic, just like how it did back then."

My was head hung low, looking at my lap. He was right. I was always reserved, used to concealing my feelings with another. I feel like if I say or show too much, they'll grow tired of me. I don't want to overshare because with every word that comes out of my mouth, I wonder if they're already tired of me talking. Overthinking always comes first when I'm trying to show how I feel or if I talk.

There are a few people I can open up to like Mina, Daniel, and Christian. Back then, Theo was a part of those few. When he left, I didn't know how to start to learn how to trust again. Now that he's here again, I had no intention of getting close to him nor did I plan for me to open up to him again but things don't really go as planned. And I've matured, the people around me helped me to think rationally. Maybe the past me wouldn't want to hear out Theo but I think his side deserves to be heard.

"Theo…" I trail off. Before talking, I breathe in a large amount of air. "There's a part of me that's still hurting about what you did back then. You, you left without saying anything. You suddenly stopped talking to me and ignored me." With every word I say, my voice quivers.

"But then, we're different from how we were back then. We mature as we grow up and this is me saying that… I'm willing to hear you out. I want to hear your explanation because I deserve that, and you deserve to be heard in return." I smile at him with utmost sincerity.

It took me by surprise when I saw his face. He was smiling but it was evident that he was taken aback by what I had just said. His face shows all the emotions he was feeling. He was happy, thankful, but there was also sadness in his eyes.

"Thank you, Gem," he says with a tender voice, the smile on his face refusing to leave.

Then and there, I realized how much we grew. I learned how to forgive and listen despite everything I've been through, and I'm willing to trust again. I realized that it was not just me who was having a hard time, Theo did, too. He didn't get a chance to explain himself and talking about it requires so much courage especially if you know you've caused damage to the person. We did separate but that served as a lesson for the both of us and made us better people.

It felt warm, my heart felt warm. I smiled back at him again and thought that maybe we can rebuild the relationship that has been broken. It may not be easy, but we'll give it a try.