Arran Ember the last of the Dra'ghoul Bloodline
850 years have passed since Zargorwarths defeat and the Vermillion Empires sudden surge in power over the Multiverse. Victor Silvertounge the last of the Guardians of Light, stood overseeing the balance to ensure that it did not fall into the darkness.
Victor could feel a change coming soon, the balance had been shifting and he did not know why but could sense that a Dra’ghoul was about to be born the first one since Draco Dra’ghoul
Emma Silvertounge a Syeer far stronger than any other seen before while only at the young age of sixteen walked pieces of her crimson hair fell in front of her sea-blue eyes and her freckled checks
“ Father, Who is Lupine Riddle ?” She asked Victor froze all time stood still, “ My child. Who told you about him? Victor said slowly his voice trembling with fear
Emma replied “ No one I had a dream and his name popped into my head as did Angel born and Wolfkin. What do they mean?”
Victor did not respond for a moment “ Tell me Emma did you see a Sword of Crimson Fire, a Spear of Golden Light, and an Ax with a wolf's head engraved on the hilt?”
She nodded slowly Victor sighed “ I feared as much. One last question was there a child with a dragon tattoo on his right arm?”
Emma nodded Victor refined from cursing “ my child it would seem that you are somehow linked with this new Dra’ghoul and those you saw in your vision. Do you know where he will be born?”
Emma replied, “ Haven Valley his mother Ashi Ember was just pronounced pregnant.”
Victor picked up his staff and said “ good then we will go and live in Haven Valley post haste.” Emma replied, “ but what about the balance?” Victor paused and said “ There is nothing I can do to prevent what will happen. The Balance will fall to darkness if I am here or not.
Victor turned to Emma who was looking out at the ever-expanding Space-Time Contium the images of her vision burned into her mind never to leave.
Victor placed a hand on her shoulder "We must leave post-haste the sooner we can get to the mother the better."
Emma nodded before they left she went and packed a medium sized bag with cloths, a leather bond book named Tales of Tylingariea by Damion Vixen Dorima and secered a silver blaclet onto her right wrist with a loud click the braclet clamped around her wrist buzzing and turning a dark blue..
she picked up her bag and meet Victer in front of a massive green portal that lead to the Haven. Taking one last look back at the Bridge of Reality Emma walked into the portal and the Wheels of Destiny for her and others were set into motion
In regard to what the author need to work on the most, and issues that I found in the novel are mainly grammars, punctuation, and spelling issues. From the beginning to the latest chapters, I found a lot of words that were spell incorrectly or that the words doesn't match the intention of the sentence. As for punctuation, there some sentence in paragraphs that I found needed period more than commas, and vice versa. For the author I did two to three examples with give in-comments suggestions. But I think the author should go back and reread (edit) the chapters again because almost to, but not all chapters had more than three to four grammar issues. But not to be discourage, not all author are grammar-free. No matter how good a novel is, at least one to two reader will probably find mistaken somewhere. As for the story development, and character design. I think the author did well in pacing between bring in new characters and describing the setting despite their given names. I wonder how does the author came up with names for his/her characters and settings( city, town, object, etc.) very creative indeed. Finally, for world background I was debating if the world is a modern futuristic world with magic, or an old time (ancient) world with magic. Not sure, but it was surprising to read to a part that seem to modern, but is not. In overall, the author did great in setting the novel in a way that pull the reader in. However, grammars and spelling mistake is the thorn on the side that probably makes it hard for reader to stay. But nonetheless, keep up the good work. Fighting!
I LIKE IT. This book so far is well written and and interesting. The thing about adventure stories are that they tend to throw you with a lot of information at once. A lot of characters introductions quickly. What I do like about this story is that it's fast paced and that things happen the whole time. Hope you keep writing and finish the story. That's what matters most. One thing I would recommend is that you go back and separate the characters "speech" sentences with at least two line spaces. Don't try to put a conversation with multiple people in one paragraph. But I'm adding to my library to see where this goes.
The world-building is very good. It gives me a sorcerous vibe. It felt like 'The Hobbit.' Anyway, the novel overall is good is of good quality. Just improve the writing quality
The story is so sweet I like the way you blend the imagination into this world and the perfect way of describing it for me and I'm slowly starting to fall in love with it ❤️❤️❤️
The story is awesome. The world building started from the very first chapter and character development was good too. There were some grammatical errors but you can improve it later. Good work author. I loved it.
I think this book has potential, the world building are super nice, the characters and plot got my attention, the grammar could improve in time, Just keep up the great job dear author. Fighting! 😃
The story has a lot of potentials, author-san. But the grammatical mistakes made me unable to continue further. I strongly recommend you to use Grammarly. Even I use that app to check if there are any mistakes in the chap before uploading it. As for the story, it is good so far. Keep up your good work, author. It will take some time to improve in everything. I've been writing for more than 2 years. But still, I make a few grammatical mistakes in each chapter. Anyway, good luck.
Loved the suspense from the beginning, instantly I knew there was going to be a nice buildup to whatever epicness was coming. I liked the fantastical elements, they were well written for me to visualize every detail in my head as I read. Great story, keep making chapters!
While reading this I was having this dark kind of vibes... Hey, the story was very mysterious at first read, must say. It makes you wonder what's more in it, and understand what the dra'ghoul all about. Psst, every time I read dra'ghoul my mind always went to a zombie-like dragon or ghoul dragon. All in all, very impressive! Kudos to the author!
After reading it, I can tell you that it has a fantastic plot. However, there are several punctuation issues and spelling errors. To avoid these, you should proofread the book. These kinds of errors, you know, can be a turn off for some readers. I wish you the best of luck!
This story is very very stylish and immersive. You are immediately teleported to this land of high sorcery. The characters are clearly portrayed and you can feel their motivations. Story is well paced. The best part is the world building. This is complimented by the writing. The vocabulary of choice is congruous to the setting. I must say there are some grammatical errors, but they do not impede reading and are not something that cannot be cleaned with simple editing. Thank you, author. It will stay in my library! :D
Writing Quality: Good and readable Updating Stability: Superb and always updated! Story Development: Nice pacing Character Design: It's nice and clean World Background: Had enough to engage more chapters.
The story seems to have interesting lore and the descriptions seem to be solid. On the other hand, the formatting of this story could use some work in terms of punctuation and grammar. Wishing you the best on your journey author.
This novel has a lot of potential It would be good if there are a lot of chapters in it. the development of the main is good. keep up updating the story.
A very good spin on the synopsis. The characterisation seems promising enough, A lot of potential to turn into something. Keep up the good work.