As soon as I stepped through the portal, a blue haired missile slammed into me, wrapping their arms around my neck. A very lovely pair of lips shot forward, their destination? Mine.
Before her lips could touch mine though, I held up a hand and stopped her, "Yeah I wouldn't do that right now, unless you want the taste of decade old lizard on your tongue." I said as I stopped Bulma's attempt to kiss me.
"Ew, what?" she drew back, scrunching her nose up in disgust, and untangling herself from me, "What the hell did you get up to this time?"
"Nothing much, just ate the tail of Frieza's dad," I shrugged, "By the way, I found out when we ended up. About seventeen years in a future where I was never made."
"...What?" Bulma stared at me blankly while I looked over her shoulder to see Dende sitting on one of the chairs beside the television, looking a bit despondent. Eesh, the massacre he saw must have effected him deeply.
"By the way, I forgot to mention it to you," I continued on, "But I've actually got the ability to see into the future and it's one of the reasons Fu was so interested in me."
"...What did you do?" her eyes met mine, totally deadpan.
"Nothing much, I just helped out a fully grown Son Gohan alongside Bulla Briefs a possible future daughter you would have had with one of the saiyans coming back in our own time if I didn't steal you away for myself," I casually explained, "...From a pair of mass murdering androids created by Doctor Gero of the Red Ribbon Army who have killed all of our friends in this timeline, with Gohan being the only survivor."
"Mmm...lovely," Bulma pursed her lips, "Before we get to the massive elephant in the room, let me ask something. Did you approach me so you could steal me away before I ever met this saiyan guy I apparently had a kid with?"
Before I could answer, someone else did for me, "Most likely, daddy here strikes me as the type," Bulla, who I'd asked to wait while I explained things waltzed through the portal, "Not that you're missing much. Vegeta, the name of my father by the way was a total prick, you're much better off without him even if it does mean you'd lose out on the awesomeness that is me."
Bulma looked passed me and her mouth dropped open while her eyes went wide as she took in the scantly clad younger looking mirror image of herself, the only difference being their height, the volume of their curves and their hair colour.
"Bulla he said to wait!" Gohan called after her as he came rushing in as well, before freezing on the spot as his eyes landed on Dende.
Bulla blinked then as she fully took in Bulma and mirror her mother from a different timeline her mouth dropped wide open, "Holy shit you're strong!" she gaped, "You're stronger than Master Gohan even when he isn't a Super Saiyan!"
"..Bulla huh?" Bulma uttered, slowly coming back to her senses. She sighed, palming her forehead, "...Again I question. Why is my life so strange?
My lovely girlfriend sighed, "You, go to the bathroom and brush your damn teeth for the next hour, I'm not kissing you until I'm sure whatever this King Cold is, is utterly gone from your mouth," she ordered me, "Then we'll talk."
"Sure babe," I agreed. But before that. I made my way over to Dende and gently touched a hand to his shoulder, "Hey Little Green, you doing alright?"
"Uhm...yes Mr. Kakarot," he replied, ducking his head lightly, ad clenching his little shaking fists together, "I can't understand why people would do what we saw earlier. But Miss Bulma helped me through it a bit."
"That's good to hear buddy," I ruffled his little bald head gently, "Can you do me a favour?"
Dende nodded, "If I can help out Mr. Kakarot just let me know how."
"Thanks," I thanked him before pointing at Gohan and Bulla, "Then you see those two? Can you use the ability Guru gave you and unlock their hidden powers?"
"Okay." Dende replied, hopping off of his seat and making his way over to approach Gohan.
While he did that. I headed towards where the bathroom was so I could get rid of the foul taste in my mouth and regain the ability to slurp on my girlfriends tongue.
As I entered the bathroom though, the spaceship began to shake and Gohan's ki spiked massively, surging upwards to incredibly high levels, so high it may surpass even my own when it levels out fully!
'Amazing!' I thought as I pulled out a toothbrush and filled it with toothpaste and got to work.
Moments later, Bulla's own ki began to rapidly grow. While nowhere near the extent of Gohan's, or even reaching Bulma's, it was not in any way weak. And as a Super Saiyan she'd be comfortably able to deal with even Frieza and put up a decent fight against Android 18 by my estimations.
When I returned to the room everyone was gathered in a few minutes later, my mouth now minty fresh, it was to the sight of Gohan and Bulla both looking both incredibly pleased and incredibly shocked.
"..What the hell just happened?" Bulla herself asked as I entered, "My power...it's rising! Really fast and just keeps on going!"
"You'll get used to it once it levels out," Bulma shrugged, "It might take a few hours until you hit as high as it'll go though."
"Thank you Dende," Gohan beamd down at the little Namekian boy standing beside him, "Thanks to you...with this power..I can put a stop to the androids myself now and save the world." he vowed solemnly.
"..No problem Mr. Gohan." Dende shyly replied.
"Well that's good," I commented as I made my way in and took a seat on my bed, "While I'm fine with it, it's really better for you to beat them on your own."
Gohan nodded, "..Then when you think it's time to put them down to use for your plan, I'll take care of them myself." he affirmed seriously.
"Good," I nodded before looking to Dende, "Little Green, how quickly can you restore the Eternal Dragon and the Dragon Balls?"
"Umm," Dende blinked and scratched at his cheek, "If the original sculpture is still around, I should be able to do it on the spot I think."
"Perfect, you're well on the way to being Super Kami Dende," I complimented him, resulting in a flush to his cheeks, I then turned to Bulla, "While Gohan is putting down the androids with his new strength later on, you can come with me and we'll head to the lookout."
She flashed me a thumbs up, "Gotcha daddy." she replied.
"Yeah, I'm gonna step in here," Bulma crossed her arms and glared at me, "Why the hell have you got my daughter from an alternate timeline calling you daddy of all things?"
"...Mostly as a little game," I replied after a moment of thought, "Course, it's technically applicable isn't it? If my balls have got anything to say about it, they'll be pumping a version of her into you some time in the future." I very much intended to plow her silly and knock her up in the future after all.
"..Oh for Kami's sake!" Gohan groaned as the serious atmosphere was broken completely and utterly, "Don't you have any sense of shame or propriety?
"What's that? Can you eat it?" I tilted my head at him and asked.
"Yeah, daddy's got game wooo!" Bulla pumped her fist in the air and cheered me on.
Bulma looked away from me to eye her dryly, "..Are you sure there isn't a version of you that got this timelines me pregnant?" she asked me, "Because she seriously seems a lot like you."
"If only," Bulla shrugged, "If he was, I'm pretty sure those androids woulda got slapped around the second they turned up." man I like this girl, she totally gets it.
"This is true," I agreed. Because I mean, come on I'm fucking awesome. I've been alive for less than two months and I can already slap them around. I'd have put those fucking murder bots in the ground long ago. "Besides, she's totally like you as well, just ramped up with saiyan instincts. She's basically you as a saiyan, babe."
"That's a scary thought," Bulma shuddered, "Me, as an autistic fight meat head like the rest of those idiots back home? No thanks."
"Don't knock it till you try it mom," Bulla snorted and shrugged her shoulders, "Besides, considering how absurdly strong you are, can you really say that?"
"...So weird to be called that," Bulma muttered before turning her nose up at the girl, "Yes actually, since all this power I have? It was a gift pretty much from your daddy over there." she retorted, pointing at me.
Bulla turned to me, raising an eyebrow and I shrugged, "Didn't I tell you? Daddy takes care of his girls."
She turned back to Bulma, "So yeah mom, it cool with you if I'm daddy's girl?" Bulla smirked at her,
Bulma snorted, crossing her arms under her bust, "Sure, but don't blame me if he gets handsy with you," she replied, "He will spank you if you annoy him."
"Well daddy has to punish his bad little girl right?" Bulla fired right back.
Gohan was beginning to look very horrified by what he was hearing. I had the initial urge to spare him and put an end to this. But quite frankly, I'm kinda liking where this is going.
Sorry my son. Your sacrifice shall not be in vain!