Chapter Seven: Crash and Burn

It had been weeks since Easton left my apartment. I hadn't heard a word from him. The first couple days, I hardly left the air mattress I called a bed. It took everything I had to get up and make sure Zeke was taken care of. The rest of the time, I just kept hitting replay on Lilo & Stitch so my toddler would let me wallow in my misery.

The worst part of it all were the dreams. He haunted me day and night. I couldn't get rid of him, could I?

I laid there and replayed our whole conversation, over and over, in my mind. He had told me that he was never going to leave me again. I was so dumb to believe him. He had lied to me before. Why did it not occur to me that it wouldn't be that hard for him to lie to me again?

Day three I had to get up. I had work and couldn't miss it. My bills wouldn't pay themselves. At least, that's what I told myself. All those tips from the previous weeks would keep Zeke and me comfortable for at the rest of the year. But my sanity needed to keep to my schedule. Or else, I would lose myself to the depression that wanted to claim me.

I should have stayed home. I should have paid my rent and bills with the money I had put aside. I should never had gotten in my car.

I was distracted by thoughts of Easton and made a turn without really thinking it through. There was a honk and then the truck smashed into my side of my car. It happened so fast. I didn't even have a chance to blink.

I stared straight ahead for a minute. Not feeling the cuts on my arms and legs. Not registering the burn on my upper arm from the air bag deploying. I snapped out of it, however, and looked over my shoulder at Zeke. If anything happened to my baby….

I let out a breath of relief at my perfect son, unharmed in his car seat.

Then the smoke began to fill the car. I acted as quick as I could. Unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed into the back, knees pressing into the glass fragments that flown onto both front seats and the center console. Faster than ever, I got Zeke out and climbed through the passenger side door. My door was crunched in and wouldn't open.

The truck driver had exited his vehicle to make sure we were okay. But I couldn't think, let alone answer any questions. I just held my baby close to my chest and cried.

Blood was running down my legs and my head was aching, but I was alive. We were alive.

At first, I wanted to call PJ. It was a habit, I guess. For the last six years, he had been the one to soothe me whenever something scary happened.

But then I wanted to be held by Easton. I just didn't know how to contact him. He hadn't left me his number or any way to contact him.

So, I did the next best thing. I called Fee.

My car was totaled. No surprise there.

Also, because I made that turn, I was cited, and my insurance wouldn't cover me due to being on shift for the delivery company. The company covered the little damage that occurred to the truck, but they wouldn't do anything for me.

I had no choice but to file bankruptcy. Even with those tips, they didn't begin to cover what I owed on my car. It was a brand-new vehicle that I had financed through a credit company. There was no way I could pay two car payments.

The lawyer was super nice to me and worked with me since I was now stranded at my apartment. I couldn't even work my weekend shifts anymore. All I could do was the live cam sessions while Zeke napped in the afternoon and slept during the night. I relied on my savings for groceries and bills, but I knew it would only last so long.

When I wasn't masturbating in front of the camera, I was crying over my downfall. I lost Easton. I lost my car. I lost my stable income.

It felt like I nearly lost everything.

I was staying strong for my son the best I could. But I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep it up.

My regulars knew something was up when I wasn't smiling like I usually did. They gave me extra tips and "presents." It wasn't much but it would be enough to get me by.

As badly as I wanted to move to a different apartment, I was making plans to sign another six months onto my lease.

"So, what are your plans now?" Fee asked me one evening while I was washing dishes.

She had called me during dinner to vent to me about a bad date she had just had.

"I'm really not sure." I sighed, turning off the sink and placing the scrub brush in its holder. "I'm doing a couple online jobs that will get me by for now." I told her, not going into what those jobs were. There were just some things my sister did not need to know about me.

"That's good." She commented. "How are things? Do you need me to take you shopping for anything while I'm in the area tomorrow?"

I shook my head, although she couldn't see me. "Things are as good as they can be, and I don't need you to. I ordered everything I needed yesterday and had them delivered."

"Cool, cool." I heard my nephew scream in the background and my older niece laugh. I smiled, wishing I could be there and use them as a distraction.

"I saw Easton." I blurted and suddenly it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I had no idea how badly I wanted to talk about him to someone. Someone who would understand.

"Wait, what?" I could tell I had her whole attention. "When?"

"A couple weeks ago, I made a delivery to his house." I left out the part where he entered my chat room since she didn't need to know that part. "He came to my place after that. We…. talked."

She was quiet for a second. Probably processing what I had just told her. "What could he possibly say to you, Max? After what he did to you?"

I felt tears enter my eyes. Would the pain of the past ever truly go away? "He apologized. His dad was unwell. That horrible girl he had been seeing off and on turned up pregnant."

"Serious?" Fee asked, incredulously.

"As a heart attack. Anyways," I continued. "He did the right thing and went back to her. He didn't know about the text I sent him after Birth Vessel ditched us. He said if he had seen it, he would have been there."

"Sure, he didn't." She didn't buy it. I knew she wouldn't. My baby sister was there when I fell apart over the loss of the only man I really cared about. "What happened after that? Did you kick him to the curb?"

"Uh…" I trailed off. She wouldn't like the answer. I knew it.

"Maxie." I was right. "The bastard hurt you. How can you forgive him that easily? What he did was nearly as worse as PJ."

"Uh, uh. Nothing Easton has ever done to me can compare to the level of destruction that PJ wrecked on my heart." Easton hurt me, sure. But PJ made me feel things I never thought I would feel. And they weren't good feelings.

"I'm sorry, Max. You're right. But I'm still worried about you going back to him. What if he does that again?"

I didn't want to tell her that he already had done that again. So, I lied. "Don't worry, sis. I'm older and more mature now. He's not going to break me again." I vowed.

She accepted my promise. But I know she still doubted me.

Hell, I doubted me.

He did break me again. I didn't want to admit it. But he did. And there was no going back. I was going to have to move past it like I did ten years ago.