Boom!

Five times. 

And by the sixth, I was dry and kind of questioning the meaning of life. 

And just after that, instead of going to bed, I had to spend thirty minutes in the bathroom, dispensing all the chocolate milk I'd ever consumed. 

'Shit.'

Shit indeed.

Technically the wedding day was over after midnight, so I guess my luck had run out. 

"Ouch, ow, ow!" Oh, it hurt.

It hurt bad. 

And it burned too. 

I could feel my intestines, and I could also not feel them at the same time….

Indescribable. 

'I'm never drinking again…'

Suffice to say, just questioning the meaning of life wasn't enough. I had to question the meaning of the universe. 

***

Argh!

Who knew waking up could be such a pain?

My head hurt. 

My stomach hurt. 

And my crotch also hurt. 

I was basically bare, and so was Marg. She was under the blanket but I could pretty much see everything.