Pain in love

Ch - 48

Sidharth is irritated with him for loosing like this in front of her and the word that addi mentioned it made him more angry. He never wants to heard that word love, and aadi knows it, then how could he say that he love her... Everytime he remember that word all the memories which he wants to forget since years again come in his mind and he became more angry..

Sana hold his hand which has some dry blood strains with fresh and says, "Why you always hurting yourself sidharth?" Her voice bring him back from the thinking, gritting teeth he says by jerking his hand off, "Who are you to asking me this? You also does the same and don't irritate me right now naaz.. Just do your work.."

Sometimes she feels like breaking his teeth, why all the time he come close and made her feel stranger in the very next second... Don't he knows that it hurts,..she love him it doesn't mean he always said like this.. He is going to move when she turn him by holding his arms and says, "Are you fucking mad? Or have some personality disorder?".

Frowning he asks, "What do you mean by that?" She look at him with an angry face and asks, "What do you want? Han? Why your mood change in every minute? I am not understanding anything sidharth, sometimes you want me to get married to kunal, then next when i talk about someone you get angry.... And what about the moment we share? Now again you start behaving rude..".

"Please tell me clearly what you want from me?" He is already angry on him and now her words made him more frustrated, gritting teeth he grab her shoulders in a way that his nails digged inside her skin and says, "I don't want anything from you,..even not you... This is the reason want you to go far away from me so that i can live my old life.."

"And whatever happened before sometimes it just a moment of destruction....i doesn't need to feel something for making out with someone. You are not the only one and i didn't force anything, ..you also reciprocate.. Mark my words naaz, i didn't feel a fucking single thing for you,.... You are nothing to me... Maybe it happened because i didn't be with any slut from a long time.."

"And don't blame me because you are also enjoying and it happens normally, girls mostly get lost in me.. Yo.." Before he complete the sentence, sana jerk her hands off and slap him hard on cheeks. He startled by the sudden action, stand rotted at the place...suddenly realized that what he actually spit out in anger..

Shit...he didn't want to said all this...none of any words he meant to say but like every time lost his calm in anger.. Aadi's words run on his mind continuously which made him irritated and those words come out of his mouth... He never have the control in words, this is the reason don't want to talk with her in anger but...now he just did another mistake...

Closing eyes he going to say something by looking down stairs when she again give him a slap and says, "Not a single word sidharth..... I don't want to heard anything from your mouth....not even want to see you right now...get lost from here." Before he could react or say anything she pushed him out of the room and locked it...

She rest her back on the door by closing eyes, tears continuously flowing from her eyes..sliding slightly against the door she thumped on the floor... Once again he broke her with his hurtful words, every time she try to forget everything by thinking that he definitely have some reason, some past...but there's a limit..

Always he first broke her  to an extent by his words or actions then again come close, made her feel special and again hurt her.. She is tired now of this game, don't have any energy or emotions to fight with him more.. She never wants to slap him like this but he crossing all limits today, how could he compare that beautiful moment of love with his so called night stands...

Or..maybe she was wrong,,. ..he is still the same monster, who don't give a fuck about anything... Maybe it was just a distraction for him nothing else,..she is the one who take his every action, words,..wrong...and lost her little heart... But it's not in her hand, to choose whom she love or not... And now she can't do anything except one thing,...

To leave him for forever, but...that doesn't mean she is going to marry kunal... No matter he didn't take her as a wife or feels something but she always have trust on the relationship,...and knew that its not possible for her to give his place to someone else ever...

So if he don't want to live with her, than she will go far away from him... As now she can't take it anymore and pretend to be strong.. because its hurt so damn much when the person whom you love, broke your heart everytime... Taking a breath she wiped her tears and says, "Now, if he has any thing for me then will come..otherwise...maybe.. this is the end of our journey."

Sidharth move to the room where sana used to sleep before and throw all the things present in the room, grabbing the vase he broke the mirror into several pieces.. Groaning in anger he pulled his hair and sit on the bed... He never want anyone to called her with those names but today himself indirectly call her slut...

How could he just compared her with those girls? Why not die before said all this??.. He hate his this anger which made him said the words which he regret later... Like always in the process of making her happy he ended up giving her more pain.... She done a perfect thing to slap him, he deserves that...

Actually he deserve something more, for always giving her pain from the very first day... Every time he prove himself right, that never able to give her happiness in life... This hell is only capable of provides darkness... And what's the nonsense aadi said, there's nothing called love in his life....

He can't love, nor anyone can love him.. Because loving him can only bring a extreme darkness, pain and disaster on the person's life... Even if anyhow this type feeling come in his heart then he have to stop everything right there.... He is made for hate, not love... And specially not her,...she deserves much more better than him...

Who can bring smile on her face rather than made cry all the time... Maybe she again start hating him like before,..."yaa.obviously she will..and its better because than she will leave you easily... I don't want to say but yes.. Its freaking tuff for me to live without her...but i have to...for her.... May be this is the end of our journey..."

Tears drops flow continuously from his eyes, never thought that will cry one day for anyone... Lost in thoughts he didn't realize when fall asleep on the bed.... Sana also fall asleep by resting her head on the door, suddenly her sleep broke by the thunderstorm... opening eyes she saw outside the balcony..

Rubbing the swelled eyes she look all around the room, just then realize that sidharth is not there... Where is he? What about the nightmare? Frowning she get up slowly and open the door, the guard told him that he move towards her old room... Without thinking anything she rushed there...

As she open the door, the scarenio pinched on her heart... Her thoughts are right...he is shivering on the bed, sweating badly...eyes are closed and says those words again by closing eyes... "No.. Don't... Please... No.... Don't.... "... Nothing come in her mind that time, she forget about all fights, decision.. everything.

Rush towards him she cupped his face and says by wipes his sweats, "Sidharth...shh.. Calm down i am here....open your eyes... sidharth nothing will happen to you... Calm down please.." She continuously wipes his face, kiss on his face..seeing him crying is not less than a punishment for her...

He opened his eyes slightly and says, "Naaz?" "Yes, sidharth...i am here with you...calm down please...jaan." He is still not his senses but can feel her presence, closing eyes he put his head on her lap and says by wrapping hand around her waist., "Please don't leave me naaz,...please...i can't..can't sleep without you... Please.."

Her heart sinked when feels wetness on her dress, no matter how much she is angry with him but her stomach squeezed in pain when saw her love in this condition.. "No...i am not going anywhere. ..shhh...try to sleep..." She can feel that he made the grip more tight on her in a way that if she wants then also can't able to go anywhere...

She winced a little by his tight hold but didn't try to free him, just caresses his hair and keep kissing on his forehead... "I am not able to understand what's the reason behind this nightmares?..Why you running away from love? Why there's a broken guitar in the storeroom? What is all this mysteries?

"I was thinking to leave you, ..but can't go from here without solving your problems for forever.. I can't leave you with these nightmares, ...maybe you don't love me but i will... And it's not possible for me to leave my love in pain... I am not going anywhere before taking out the darkness from your life.. I promise till tomorrow night, i will going to find out everything about your past."

She again peck his forehead and fall asleep by thinking about the plan..

Next morning sidharth blink his eyes and shocked after open it, he is sleeping near sana's tummy and his hands are wrapped around her waist. She rest her head on the bedpost and one hand on his hair.. Shaking head he close his eyes remember something hazy...

Shit maybe the nightmare come again but...how can she come here? After whatever he said yesterday, it's tuff for him to face her.. Taking a breath he slowly come out from her embrace but his movement break her sleep, "What happen? Are you fine?" There's a panicking , a care visible on her voice.

Her actions made him more guilty for whatever he did, standing he says by looking at the other direction, "Hm..yeah i am fine... When..was you came here? Its...just a normal nightmare.." She give him a disbelief reaction, how can he addressed that a normal nightmare...

"Its not your concern,..and i want to tell you that... If you want me to get married than it will be happen tomorrow otherwise not.."

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Let's see what happens next!!!