"Most people assume that you have to be a killer in order to be psychotic or skitzophrenic, that in order to be 'crazy' you have to be delusional but that's far from the truth, yeah okay I hullucinate I see vivid murders and my thoughts are sparatic and murderous but I'm as human as you are my intentions and my heart is good I've seen enough that would destroy even the strongest minds, the way I see it is I think eccentrically, my mind is different but there's nothing wrong with that, you see it all started back when I was in primary school, I had a lot of problems and a lot of bully's, I was to frightened to talk and I had no farther, but that's no a surprise to you is it? I mean I'm pretty sure you've heard my story before, I'm Jack Sheppard, I have skitzophrenia and psychosis with Dissociative identity disorder a case of attention deficit disorder and a slight bit of post traugmatic stress disorder I'm also sure that you want to know where I am now and since I'm not on camera I can still show you I can paint a picture for you using nothing but my word's, it's something that I've been able to do since I was just a knee high toddler.
I'm sat in a corner in my livingroom, in front of me is a red sofa bed, behind my head holding me up is a black two seat sofa while I lay on the floor half of me on the carpet and half of me on my flowery rug I'm staring at a small shelf with 12 marvel comic booms perfectly organized with a painting of dead pool on a canvus on top of a spider man monopoly board game with n iron man figure to the left and a spiderman figure to right and a spiderman game cube game on it too, I'm thinking that maybe my escape stratageys Havent been helping me as much as they should've been see when I read a comic of even play a game I actually jump out of my body out of this relm and into the game or the story and I'm watching as the events unfold like what happens when you watch TV or watch a film at the cinema with your friend's, I leave this planet and nothing can hurt me and nothing and no one can reach me, my soul is absorbed into everything that I do, its weird because I'm looking at it all and its almost as if I belong there in these story's, I've taken all that I can of this world I've seen things that kill me to my core and I don't trust anybody I can see you all but at the moment you can't see me, it's got me thinking I'm a genius and I can tell you why, I have designed the webshooter spiderman has I've designed a pair of gloves that tony stark could've used on his iron man suit, I'm a white male and I like to ware a black original track suit, I love marvel and I'm a fan of Marshall matthers you guys know him as Eminem or Slim Shady, I know him as the guy who isolates himself who's single and depressed regardless of his front, who can really say that each of us actually exsist?
I know that I do but how can I know that Julie does? How do I know that you the reader exists when I don't see you, shit how do you know that I'm real or that Julie's real, there's no way to know for sure,
Now for me it's snowing outside, how's the weather for you, is it sunny snowing or raining? Is there a thunder storm? A tornado? Or volcanic eruption?
Is life really worth living? Farther I have to know what's real, I have to know if its worth being alive when I was made this way and I need to know what my purpose is because if I'm here just to fill up a space then why should I not be dead? Is it a sin to kill myself or is this psychological illness just a way to make me different from the people next to me? Why did you send me that book? It taughments me, the shadow follows me and he tells me and shows me things that I wish I didn't know, please farther I need a sign so that I know that this hardship is worth preservating through" Jack said in a prayer knowing that there is no god to answer his prayers and that it is all in his head.
"why must I have the impulse to kill why does murder give me power why does blood turn into billions when blood is not worth more than a mere stain on stainless steel?" He finished off with before he stood up and left the room to make a cup of warm coffee
"Jack" the shadow said as it manifested behind him "You've been given this gift for a reason, my intentions aren't for doing wrong or bringing anyone harm, I'm here to show you other people's Intention's, follow me" it said as it headed for the front door Jack following him barefoot to the snow covered street, "Look Jack, watch this man walking his dog, do you think that he's happy with his life and that he's not once prayed for something to change? Or a simple and painless way out? Do you think that he hasn't once tried to kill himself? Do you think that he isn't in emotional pain?" The shadow said to Jack as it pointed to the man walking his pit bull
"See you've been giving the ability to end his pain and suffering, you've been given a way to comite murder and not go to 'hell' you've been given a way and a reason to not go to jail for ending his pain" It told Jack who stood watching the man and listening to the Shadow while his feet turnt purple and quickly swelling up
"The reason why your here Jack is to help this man heal and leave the world pure at heart" It told Jack as it made Jack see what this man had went through a few year's ago while he was going through a hard divorce while he was greaving the death of his only best friend his brother by blood
"His wife had left him for another man and demanded a devorce the same day that his brother died, his dog is the only living thing that this poor unfortunate man had left, He had turned to drug use while refusing to sign the devorce paper's" The shadow said to Jack
"He spent his days isolated and only went out for his dog to use the toilet and to take the dog on a walk at night time" it said to Jack as Jack listened to it's words and the man's story
"So he's a user who lost everything his wife and his family?" Jack asked out of curiosity
"Yess Jack, and what make's it worse is he's completely and utterly unaware that he is about to go through yet another guy wrenchingly painful experience, although you could save him now and all you have to do is kill him, put a silenced bullet through the back of his head" The shadow said handing Jack a colt 45 with a silencer attached "You're quite the marksman Jack who is completely unable to feel empathy your only problem is your antipsychotic medication which is making you grow quite the conscience" It said as it moved Jack into the center of the road before turning into the shadow scarf that Lay's on Jack's shoulder blade's
"You say that he's about to go through something else that is going to hurt him?" Jack asked
"Yess Jack, and you can end it all right now, just raise the gun and fire the killer shot" It said as it tried to twist Jack's thoughts and as it tried pursuading Jack to kill the man
who stood next to his dog who was doing the toilet against a lampost
"No I won't kill him" Jack said aggravating the shadow
"Jack do you want to know exactly how he lost his brother?" The shadow asked Jack
"that would be useful yes" Jack responded
"It was three thirty three in the morning"
"I'm sorry Mr. Hampton but your brother Aron has sadly passed away" the man spoke on the phone
"How? what happened?" Jimmy asked the man on the phone
"He was in a car accident and suffered a fatal head injury and gained a brain hemage as a result, I'm sorry for your loss" the man said before he hung up the phone
Jimmy fell back into his sofa holding back the tear's knowing that his brother had just passed away and that's when his now ex wife Bethany came in and told him she wanted a devorce before taking what she could and leaving the copy of the house keys on the kitchen counter top" The shadow told Jack
"Okay so what's about to happen to him that's going to hurt him that much that he want's to end it all and die?" Jack asked as a silver BMW spread around the corner as his pit bull walked acrossed the road following its owner
"This Jack, move out of the way and put the gun away for a second or two" The shadow informed Jack
The car hit the pit bull the impact shattered its skull and sent the dog sliding 4 feet up the road leaving a trail of skull blood and brain's behind it the man ran to his final companion in tear before falling to his knee's and the silver BMW turned the corner racing off unaware that they had just ran over a dog,
"Why! why would you take my last companion!" the man screamed to the dark sky above him "I'm sorry Aron but I can't keep fighting this" Jimmy said to the sky in nothing but emotion distress his tear running down his face as he pulled out his 45 caliber broken butterfly, a silver 6 round magnum, he placed it against his left temple before pulling the trigger, the bang filled the streets for mile's upon mile's, the bullet ripping through his skull making his brain matter and blood we explode through the massive gaping hole which was left from the bullet, his now lifeless body slumped and landed on top of his dog's
"Jack you could've ssaved him by killing him firsst" The shadow said to Jack
"No I could have stopped him yes but murder isn't the way to go, I've killed people and I learnt that murder doesn't help it only make's things worse." Jack stated
"What'ss another one to the hundred'ss of courssess that you left behind Jack?" The shadow asked as he pulled Jack inside before anyone saw Jack standing there
"Murder simply is not worth it no matter the cause that it's for" Jack insisted to the shadow
"Hiss death hiss suicide is sstill on your hand'ss mortal" The shadow said in a manipulative manner before demanifesting leaving Jack alone once more as his wife Julie was sleeping ever so soundly in their bed, Jack sat down on his red sofa looking at his comic book shelf in a small corner of the living room
"Oh Venom you've killed to protect the innocent, I have too, but it just isn't how it seem's is it?" Jack asked the picture of Venom on the cover of Venom island "Maybe I'll find out the answer's that I need inside of your story" Jack muttered to himself as he picked up the definitive Carnage comic book
"If killing innocence is wrong, wouldn't it be wrong to kill evil in order to protect the innocence that the evil tries to currupt and destroy? after all a life is a life and would that not make the most evilest of villan's just as innocent as the good that defend it?" Jack asked before opening up the comic book
"How do I even process this mans suicide? should I have killed him like Shadow said I should have? or is it better that he had just killed himself? because I know that nothing that I said would have stopped him from killing himself" Jack said before turning the page "I hate what had happened to him and his dog, fuck it, Venom I need your advice I'm coming to talk to you" Jack said before jumping from his relm into the relm in which venom lived in in search for an answer while hoping that what Venom had to say would help him and not cause him even more confusion.