A little light of Hope

I stayed with my parents for few days. Back at home everybody treats me like a little princess. My parents and my Grandmother pampers me a lot.

My parents gave me everything that I wanted and I know they would always be there to help me out but even after knowing this I couldn't say everything to my parents.

My mom loves and trusts my aunt a lot. My aunt was the one who looked after her and her sisters so my mom really loves her a lot. There are times when I get jealous too my mom treats everyone equally and sometimes she showers my cousins with more love. I wanted to reveal everything to mom but will it be okay to say everything to her.

What if she doesn't trust me, What if she blames me for trying to break her relationship with her sister..all this question made me to wonder whether I will be fine revealing everything to her.

So I started writing a diary. My little diary kept all my secrets.

One day my mom was cleaning my room and she found out my diary and also the secrets that I had been trying to hide. For some reason I was quite relieved too as now I thought that my mom would save me.

It was in the evening my mom called me to her room, and asked me about my aunt's behaviour towards me. And that hit the spot I couldn't keep everything to myself hence I blurted out everything to her. She blamed herself for not being a good mother, we both cried for sometime. Then I asked my mother to take me away from my aunt's place but as expected she asked me to sacrifice as she didn't wanted to spoil her relationship with her sister.

I felt devastated, my mom chose my aunt instead of me. And maybe that's the reason why I changed so suddenly. My winter vacation ended and I came back to my aunt's place. Life was so unfair to me.

I hated myself. My aunt became more cruel towards me. The only place where I felt good was my school. The only place where I would hide away from all my problems.

I was also able to make some friends. And they were really good towards me.

Today as usual I woke up early, prepared breakfast for my aunt and her family and then got ready to come to school.

At school

'Tzuyu I heard there a new guy in our class, I heard he is really handsome too.' Mina my best friend said excitedly

Mina is really an angelic person, she has always been by my side. I just smiled seeing her excited face.

The class started and the class teacher entered with a boy. The boy introduced himself

' Hello everyone My name is Akhilesh. I hope we can be good friends'

I could see all the girls blushing as he introduced himself, but I had too many problems to think of, and looking at a boy romantically was out of my league. The teacher asked him to sit beside me.

After few weeks

Today as I was preparing breakfast my hand slipped and the plate that I was holding fell down breaking into two pieces. My aunt beat me up. I cried my eyes out but she didn't forgive me, she kept whipping me with a stick.

I however managed to run as I was already getting late for school. In school I tried to act calm as I didn't want anyone to know about my present condition. I was really very scared, Moreover I am scared of the school getting over as I don't know what my aunt would do, as in the morning I ran away from her which might have made her even more angry.

I lied my teacher saying that I wasn't feeling quite well. So they allowed me to sleep in the class. Akhilesh and I had become friends. He is a really nice person, he kept asking me if I was okay or not. It was lunch break, Akhilesh brought me a burger from the canteen. As I and Akhilesh were eating burger in our class, he once again asked if I was really fine or not. I could see the concern in his eyes. He is really very caring. As I was eating I didn't realize that he had been staring at me for quite a while.

I felt uncomfortable under his gaze and when I asked him why was he staring he looked at me and said ' Tzuyu you know I am your friend right, and you know that you don't need to hide things for me right, believe me I am a really good listener you know'

I smiled at him and asked him why was he acting that way. He became really serious and said

' Tzuyu I ...hmm...actually..I....hmm..saw the bruises, did someone beat you up'

I was shocked for a moment and made an excuse saying that I just feel down from the stairs.

Akhilesh didn't believe me at first but however I convinced him to believe my lie.

After school I came to my aunt's place. My aunt scolded me and even beat me up. I couldn't take it anymore I went to my room and found a blade in my room. My mind kept saying me that I shouldn't do it but my body acted against it. I took that blade and tried cutting my nerves but I was afraid of the physical pain, the blade did cut my wrist but it didn't reach my nerves. And guess what I couldn't even take my life.

With the passing days I became more fragile. Thoughts of suicide kept haunting me, I didn't feel like going anywhere not even school, I just wanted to stay in my room, I didn't like the light outside, I felt like everyone was just talking bad about me.

I felt suicide is the only option. I stopped talking to anyone, even my parents. My parents sensed something was wrong with me and they came to visit me, after seeing my state my mom took me to a psychiatrist where I was diagnosed to have depression.

As my mom knew the cause behind my such vulnerable state, she brought me back home. I started receiving treatment. I even started taking classes to build my personality, I started indulging myself in learning new things, such as dancing, singing, drawing etc. My dad hired a driver to drive me to school finally I feel much better.

My teachers knew about my condition and it had almost been 2 months since I last came to school.

As I had been much better lately my parents wanted me to go back to school. I happily agreed as I would get to meet my friends and moreover I would get to meet my best buddy ' Akhilesh'.

Akhilesh and I we became best of friends. I started depending on him. Although I didn't go to school for many days Akhilesh made sure that he would talk to me over phone everyday. He would call me everyday and ask me about my condition. We started sharing everything. I really liked talking to him a lot. But for few days he hasn't been picking my phone. But no worries I would see him soon at school.

Today I was supposed to go to school. I was very excited and happy too as I would get to meet Akhilesh after such a long time. I came to school and everyone showered me with love but I couldn't spot Akhilesh anywhere. I kept searching for him but he was nowhere to be found.

I asked Mina about Akhilesh and that's when I got to know that he left the school.

I was disheartened to hear her say that. Akhilesh was my bestest friend but yet he went away without even a proper goodbye. After School I tried calling him but I got no response from him.

I guess I wasn't really that important to him. I guess forgetting about him would be the best thing for me too..😭