Chapter 6 Married and kids

François and I, had names for our kids since we got engaged. We were trying to find names that can be pronounce the same in Spanish and French. Their names would be Richard and Isabelle. François said Miguel was an option but I didn't want to think about the past and decided to name him Richard.

I was pregnant and it was a good feeling for awhile because everything was running well, I wasn't in a hurry to find a job. François worked from home. The thing is I should of been on maternity leave and I couldn't because I didn't have enough hours. They gave me normal EI instead. People say that when you are pregnant you get nightmares and that is true.

I had many dreams that I had the baby and I was still attached to him by the umbilical cord and many of loosing the baby. A few times I had a spirit strangling me. I also had a ghost appearance. I couldn't sleep and I went to sleep on the couch. I woke up and all of a sudden a native guy with a chief gear and big chief hat was glowing right in front of me. I didn't know if it was a dream or not but it really scared me and I went to bed quickly and woke François up. He had to hold me so I can go back to sleep.

I was looking in Facebook and I found Miguel. I would look at his profile until he put the heavy privacy and I wasn't able to see his pics. I decided to text him and say, "Hi, how are you, remember me?" It surprised me when he texted me back saying. "Ohh Maria, how are you?" And I was able to see his pictures again. We texted each other for a while but after a month it was better to stop texting him since he got married again.

François and I made a lot of financial mistakes and let one person borrow money from us. We started a multi level company and it didn't go well, when other people didn't work to get customers. We also didn't do our taxes on time because my dad used to do them and now we didn't have money to do it.

My mother in law was helping us financially for a long while until we both got jobs and we were able to pay her and all of our expenses. We were slowly crawling out of our hole. I didn't buy anything for my baby until he was 2 years old.

I had my First baby boy and it was a stressful feeling because I didn't produce enough milk, my baby was crying all the time. I wished my mom would have been with me at this time. Talking and holding me like a baby.

My sister and my mother in law was there to help me during contractions and I had contractions for 54hrs. Then my mother in-Law told my sister not to invite anyone to visit and they got in a huge fight. I was very depressed and I would cry all the time. It turned out I was having a fever and needed some sleep. My aunt and uncle came to cheer me up on the third day and two days after I was released. Finally my new normal with my first son, Richard, my new house, my cat, Ti-roux and in my own bed.

I had some time alone with my precious baby boy, Richard. He was a happy boy and very tiny, 6 lbs. We did his 1st birthday party with all my relatives. For the next year and a half of Richard's life, he lived with his grandmother because we were working a lot.

The first week at my new job, I felt so sick to my stomach and I said to myself I hope I am not pregnant. I went that day to get pregnancy test and Oops, I must of forgotten I wasn't using protection. Lol, crazy me. We told everybody but it looked like we were 5 months already because we weren't sure until ultrasound. Time flew by fast and I had to work as much as possible.

My mother in law told me that she couldn't take care of my kids and now that they are two of them. I didn't have enough hours to get maternity leave again but I couldn't work anymore.

I had the second baby and I didn't want my mother in law there. Again I had 54hrs of contractions, I swear my body didn't know what was going on. This time I felt better, my baby girl, Isabelle was latching, I had lots of milk and I was home after a day.

Finally, François got a job in the government and he had to work in Ottawa. I didn't have a car but I biked to my new job, then during winter I had a ride. I liked it at first but then it was too much for me, I had to stop. I stayed home with both my kids and they were both crying at the same time. I tried my best but I was getting grumpier and grumpier. We had to sell our house and move to Ottawa because François got the government job and I got a job as a receptionist and then realtor in Ottawa too. I put about $9000 and I only worked for 2 and a half years. Lots of work for little money.

I was staying home with my two kid, I tried to take them to a playgroup and Miguel wouldn't talk much and wouldn't play much. The ladies that work there knew how to assess kids and they told me Miguel could be autistic. He wasn't meeting his developmental stages. We applied for him to get assessed and it took a long time.

It took 2 years to sell the house, and with the money we paid all debt and and François was making good money. Eventually he had to take sick leave because he was too stressed and he eventually started his own company. I was so proud of him.

I got any kind of jobs in Ottawa for now but the hours were at night and weekends it was awful but that was some things I can do. Nothing with benefits. I left one job for another and I got promised lots of hours and it was admin but eventually they didn't want to train me and then, I was casual but doing different little jobs. Of course they were happy with me I was a hard worker but I didn't want casual.

I got a called from social services about my ex-stepmom and they wanted me to take her daughter for a while since my sister was gone. Eventually we had to go to court to get custody of Sara because my stepmom, had too many incidents, being drunk to the point of falling on her way to get her little girl from school.

We took her in and she got along with my kids but eventually when she was 16 she decided to go back to live with her mom. We also had another court case from the people that bought our house and we didn't have enough money to settle it. Our lawyer knew we had to give something to them to get rid of them for good. After all that they only got $25 0000 from us and they were expecting $80 000. What a waste of time and money. We had to get a loan anyways.

Now that it looked like everything was getting better, my kids got diagnosed with autism and it was hard because even when they were 4 and 5years old they had a mind or development of a 1 year old. At least physically they could do a lot more now.

Little by little my kids started being less stressful to take care of. My son continued to have constipation problems from eating anything off the ground and he also developed a talent for singing and dancing. He knows all the choreography for Just Dance videos.

My daughter was very stubborn and almost couldn't change her mind, when she had something in her mind. She likes drawing rainbows and then playing with slime and she would mix everything into it, shaving cream, my makeup, glitter, flour, sometimes chemicals. Again, I could only lock everything in but if she saw it open, she will take everything and mix it in her slime or put it piled in her dresser. What a mess.