chapter 25

Hunter made it to every practice this week, honestly it was comical watching how excited he was during every practice, they got along well with JJ and even though he frustrated my brother to no end during the first couple of days, they fell into a cute brotherly friendship when Hunter finally grasped all the moves. 

Ashton, Dylan and Sierra would come over sometimes which would result in watching movies till late when they'd finally gotten tired and went back to their homes.  I wasn't complaining though, I loved their company, I hated being in this house alone and JJ hated it as well. 

A glass fell on the ground and it brought me back to present time when it shattered on the floor barely missing my foot. 

"Miss Lia are you okay, oh my God, are you okay?" Matilda, the housekeeper my mother had left rushed to my side, inspecting me for any bruises, I was still, my hands still shaking. 

"Am okay Matilda, I am just clumsy?" I smiled nervously trying to hide my shaking hands. Her face changed and she looked at me in a way I couldn't quite explain. 

"Miss Lia, I dont think it's just you being clumsy, this is the third item this week, and I've realised your hands are always shaking as if you're cold," Anxiety coursed through me, my eyes felt twitchy and my wrists suddenly got itchy. 

"No, that's not right," I gave a nervous laugh as I told the very obvious lie hoping she would just drop it, "maybe you need to see a doctor miss Lia it's getting very worrying," she pushed on and something just snapped in me. 

"I said no Matilda, am fucking fine, am just a little too clumsy and my head is in a lot of places right now, what's so hard to understand about that," I yelled and she took a step back clearly shocked by my reaction. 

I wanted to calm down, this was something so small I don't know why I was getting so angry, "I'm sorry miss, I didn't mean to overstep, I was just worried for you," she looked down at her feet and I let out a frustrated growl. 

I stomped to my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me, I was feeling so out of control, my emotions and reactions didn't belong to me anymore, I felt sick so I rushed to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. After about 5 minutes of gagging and emptying my stomach, I finally stopped and sat on the floor feeling exhausted and out of breath. I pulled my medicine bottle out of my sweatpants pocket and quickly took a pill, grimacing when I noticed I was down to three pills. 

My phone started to ring and I picked it up immediately, not bothering to check the caller ID. 

"Hey," Hunter's voice came out sounding nervous. 

"Hi," I replied with a small smile forming on my face, he was always an amazing destruction. 

"Are you sleeping? You sound tired," I pictured his face with a concerned expression which made me giggle. 

"Are you worried about me Hunter Daniels?" I joked and he scoffed playfully.

"Yeah whatever helps you sleep at night Jenkins," that actually made me laugh and suddenly I wasn't in a bad mood anymore. 

"Okay, so why are you calling me?" 

"I ..... I wanted to help you with your homework," he answered and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion before I started laughing so hard my belly hurt. 

"That's not even funny Lia, am literally offering to help you with the AP math homework and you're laughing," I tried to stop but he just sounded stupid.

"Okay, okay, say I believe you, how would we even do it," I asked. 

"Well first grab your book, I already have mine, your homework paper and calculator, then we go over each question and discuss it," he answered it actually made sense but I still don't know why he wanted to help me with my homework, I wasn't failing AP maths, I wasn't failing any of my classes for that matter, except history, that class was grade A boring and our teacher is an asshole. 

"Why....." 

"Because, am sort of failing that class and you're fucking einstein, so yeah," I laughed harder this time

"You do realise that means am helping you and not the other way around  right," 

"We don't have to delve into who's helping who, you don't see me talking about who called who so it doesn't matter," 

I laughed lightly, "that makes no sense  Hunter, anyway lemme grab my book so we could start."

After two hours of Hunter and I going over maths numbers and me explaining a couple of topics to him we were finally done and I slumped back into my soft mattress removing the phone from loud speaker and placing it on my ear. 

"Thank you," Hunter said

"It's okay really, I was way more fun working with you than it is working alone anyway," I replied and he was quiet for a minute before he spoke again. 

"What are you doing Saturday?"he asked and my heart sped up, was he going to ask me out. 

"I usually hang out with JJ but he has a sleepover so my next big thing is Dylan and Sierra, why?" 

"I wanted to pay you back for today, I want to teach you something," my heart dropped in disappointment and I let out an oh then hitting my head and hoping he didn't hear the disappointment in it. 

I shook my head and tried to recollect my scattered emotions, "I mean yeah, that would be cool, what will I be learning?" 

"You'll see on Saturday, I'll pick you up," I nodded even though he couldn't see me. The disappointment was so consuming, I didn't trust myself to have this conversation without ending up making it obvious. 

"Yeah, anyway it's getting late, thanks for calling, am going to ..."

"Wait Lia," my breath hitched at the urgency in his voice.

"Yeah?" I asked. 

"I actually called because... I sort of wanted to hear you voice," my cheeks turned red and yet again another oh escaping my mouth and I almost hit myself for how dumb I sounded. 

"And the homework.." he laughed nervously and I smiled. 

"I make you nervous Hunter Daniels," I repeated the same words he once said to me a stupid smile playing on my face and I imagined how red he must be right now, I could hear his breath through the phone. 

"Am going to bed now Hunter, I'll see you at school," 

"Goodnight lia," he replied just before I hung up, my hands rushing to cover my face immediately and squealing with joy like a little girl, and for the first time in a long while, my heart felt settled, and blissful. 

*********

"Lia, come here, carry your brother, I want to take a picture of you two," Dad shouted for me, excitement clear in his voice. 

My 12 year old self unable to contain the excitement ran as fast as I could with a huge smile on my face, and went to lift JJ of the ground, 

"Say cheese, JJ," I asked and he instead yanked at my hair making me cry out which made him laugh and dad to the picture. 

" My sweet babies, I'm proud of you lia, you take care of him so well, I know I can trust you even when I am gone," dad said and my face changed. I was worried why he was talking like that.

"What do you mean dad?" Suddenly we were not in our cozy little living room but in a hospital room, dad was laying on the bed smiling at me, and I was confused. 

"Dad, why are we here?" I asked. 

"You're here to watch me die Lia," he said, his smile still big and my eyes widened in realisation. I shook my head and right before me I watched as his big bulky body started to shrink. I yelled for it to stop but it didn't. 

The meat that covered his body slowly began to reduce until he was an emaciated  figure lying lifeless, all his bones popping out and visible. 

I screamed, utterly mortified by the image and then I heard him call my name, the voice came from all around me, the place was dark and I couldn't find him, I was frustrated and tired and then my own body began to shrink. 

I watched as my feet and legs lost the healthy meat that once covered my bones and I began to scream, but the voices of my dad calling my name were louder than I was, no one could hear me, no one could save me.

************

 I woke with a jolt, every part of me drenched in sweat, my hands and legs were shaking so hard I couldn't even walk to the bathroom to get my pills so I decided to crawl, my whole body ached, images of my sick dad appeared in my head each making my head hurt more and more, the pain was  unbearable. There was a maddening ringing in my ears that was driving me insane. 

I noticed that I had knocked a couple of things over when I was reaching for my pills but I couldn't care less. I popped my pill and lain on the ground in a foetus position rocking myself and counting backwards from 100 until I fell asleep.