chapter 38

Trevor led me inside a dimly lit restaurant, it wasn't fancy in any way honestly, it had an indie happy vibe to it with great music, it wasn't something you'd do on a first date, which confirms that this is not a date, which doesn't bother me at all by the way. 

We sat in an empty booth by the window, placed our order and for some reason we started talking about cats. 

"You kinda make me think of cats," he said and I frowned at him. 

"Am not sure that makes me feel good considering you just said you hate them," I replied, sipping on my slushy, it was to die for. 

"I hate cats but they have some cool attributes to them, attributes you just happen to carry," he explained and I looked at him, searching. 

"Like what?" Honestly I was getting nervous, he makes my heart beat a little faster than it should. 

"You're sarcastic, you hate being controlled but you also love being spoiled and loved on, you also like to cuddle and I don't know if it's something you only do when you're drunk but you purr in your sleep and hug people tighter," I was red .

"You're also kind of cute," he said all this like he was just saying good morning, absolutely nothing awkward about flattering the shit out of me. 

"For a person that was drunk, you really observed me that night," I said looking down at my fingers and he laughed 

"I don't drink Lia," 

"But you were intoxicated that night, you said you were, that's why you kissed me," I was looking at him with a sort of confused expression on my face. 

"I was high on weed, but it wears off pretty fast, and correction you kissed me Lia ...." He said and my eyes dropped in shame, daim that's embarrassing 

".....and I kissed you back because I wanted to..... not because I was high," he added and my head shot up,  eyes meeting his blue ones immediately, there was not a single trace of deceit in them, and then I panicked, okay does he like me, is that why. What am I supposed to say back should I laugh it off.

Lucky for me or unlucky depending on where you're viewing this from, I didn't have to answer because I was pulled out of my trance by an intrusive voice.

Standing in front of our table was Marrisa Knight and her amazing boyfriend Hunter Daniels. Talk about twisted things. 

She was giving me a pretty fake smile and Hunter looked like he didn't want to be here. 

"Lia, oh my God, sorry to bother you, I just saw you here with Trevor and I had to say hi, are you guys on a date," she asked and I rolled my eyes the same time Trevor rolled his, I had to hold back my smile at that. 

"We're not friends Marisa, why do you care?" I asked my eyes trying to avoid Hunter, looking at him would be a terrible idea, I am a much better actress when I am not looking at him. 

"Oh no, don't be like that Lia, we're past that remember, I was just curious, Hunter and I love this place, right babe?" She gave him a peck and right in that moment my eyes gazed and sent a gaze his way m, he just so happened to be looking at me as well, and I felt it again. The nasty sharp ache in my chest. It never really seemed to go away, no matter what I use to distract myself, my heart never seems to understand that he's not for me nor me for him and I have to feel it break every time we're in the same room together. 

"Am sure you and  babe have better things to do than bothering us," I heard Trevor say and if I was not trying to soothe the ache in my chest I'd laugh at his mocking Hunter by calling him babe, but I couldn't, I didn't have it in me anymore. 

"Ohh Trevor that's no way to talk to someone being nice, but then again am not sure  druggies ever get moral lessons, my bad I just always have high expectations in people," Trevor's jaw ticked I could tell he was offended . 

I turned to give her a piece of my mind but Hunter beat me to it, 

"Alright Marrisa I think you've had too much to drink, apologise so we could go,"

"But I didn't...." she whined

"Marisa," he warned and she gave him a little frown but she let out a small apology before staggering ahead of him. 

"Sorry about that, she didn't have a good day," he said, his eyes dodging mine and he followed her out, giving her a small kiss on the head before they completely disappeared.

I wanted to cry, why couldn't he treat me like that, why didn't he choose me, am I not pretty enough, does he like redheads , is that why. why did he kiss me if he liked her all along, why does it hurt so much. 

"Am going to use the bathroom," I told Trevor and he nodded watching me in a studious gaze. 

I pulled my pills out of my pocket as I reached the bathroom, I needed to shut my brain up, this was not a good place to break down, I was breathing heavy, my head was shouting at me and I felt wetness on my cheeks then i realized i was crying, I didn't even want to hold it in, so I cried for a few minutes, washed and dried my face before going back to my booth. 

The rest of dinner was quite awkward which was mostly my fault, Trevor tried to make conversation and I kept giving short ass answers, he eventually gave up and drove me home after dinner. 

I cried the whole night and woke up again at around 3 am to yet another nightmare, my heart was pounding and my body was sweating. I went to the bathroom for a cold shower and a pill 

I looked at my phone when I returned to my bedroom and realised it was almost four, I also had a new message from Trevor, he had sent it at around 11, the same time I was having my pity party and I hadn't checked my phone

Trevor: Would you like to join me again tomorrow? 

I smiled that he had actually asked this time and sent him a quick yes and asked if I could bring my brother.