Just Another High School Story!

Ethan leaned against the ledge, and sighed, "I know you'll say that I'm spouting bullshit, trying to justify myself, and I admit that I was a bully, but I am really sorry for what I did to you. I didn't realise I was ruining your life." when he said this, he knelt down in front of her, and began crying, this was the first time he had ever cried in front of her... actually, it was kind of the first time, he was showing his vulnerable side to someone, everyone saw E as the cool one, naturally, he had become cold, it wasn't him to be this... weak... this real. He had always been at odds with his mom, and his dad died recently, his brother was always abroad or away, he didn't have anyone to cry in front of, if he did, who would even comfort him, he only had himself, and as opposed to what Leah thought his life must be, glamorous and happy, his life was just as unpleasant as hers, she didn't wanna believe anyone had it harder than she did, so she fancied that Ethan was a rich, spoiled brat, who did whatever he wanted, but right now looking at this young man kneeling in front of her, all the opinions she had formed about him, every impression melted into nothing, she felt like someone had swept her memories away, she could no longer place him in the situations he'd been the bully in, instead he looked just like her, the victim. What was going on? She saw him, vulnerable, and breakable, just as she was used to seeing herself, it was as if she were looking in a mirror, a perfect mirror, she forgave him, without having to hear his explanation, she reminisced the omnipresent past, all the pain she had went through and let it go, just like that, unexpectedly. Life is the weirdest candy one can taste, things happen when you least expect them to, on top of that, they happen at the weirdest times, forgiving someone isn't easy. Forgiveness makes you feel light, as if something stuck in you has finally been thrown out, it easy to hold onto hate towards someone, for like Nelson Mandela said, Love comes more naturally to someone than hate does, the courage it takes to forgive someone is commendable, to let go of the pain, it's freeing. Like a bird let out of a locked cage, you feel like you're on top of the world, Leah felt that way when she had finally forgiven Ethan.

Ethan was still on his knees, crying, big tears, each tear that slipped was so painful for Leah to watch that she knelt down beside him, and hugged him. He took solace in this warmth, he felt like someone had fed him a piece of fresh chocolate, this was sweet. Someone that you could cry in front of, without feeling embarrassed about the snot or the tears, or your face, someone whom you didn't have to be conscious in front of, someone who could lend you their shoulder, he continued through the sobs,

"I've always had a hard life. My mom acted as if she owned me, she does whatever she wants and forces her opinions on me, my brother has always been MIA, my dad, the only being that I loved, died last year, and I couldn't even say goodbye. Do you know when we left, on the plane, all I could think about was how I wouldn't see you anymore, and that crushed me, I made a promise to myself, a promise that I planned to make good on, I'd come back to you and say all the things that I couldn't before and all that I could think about was you, I'd been blinded by my hatred, I was just so pissed, you looked too perfect, with your tight schedule, your never ending to-do lists, your good grades, and that smile on your face when you enjoyed music, you looked so carefree all the time, and I suppose that made me jealous, I saw you hang out with your sister, you guys were unbreakable, always together, that bothered me even more, why couldn't I be just as happy. I guess that's why I started bullying you, but I swear that I've never thought you were actually fat, I called you 'fatty' not to crush your self-confidence, but because I thought you had the perfect figure, awesome strength, we used to volleyball in parallel courts, you enjoyed your time on the court so much, you were like a bird, flying all around, diving and hurting yourself like it was nothing, I don't know when I became so messed up, but then the jealousy disappeared, it was as if I saw you in a new light, I stopped hating you and realised that I liked you, every time you got hurt, I'd feel anxious, every time you laughed at someone's jokes, I'd wonder what it was, so that I could make your smile too, I wanted to be friend with you... no not just friends, more than friends, and when I finally understood myself, I ran out of time, we had to leave so that my dad could do his work, and receive treatment at the same time, he'd never told us what his 'health problem' was, I regret not asking him more about it, I regret not forcing him to say it, I was upset abroad, I wanted to get away from my mom, so I followed in my brother's footsteps, coming home late at night, partying on the weekends, and wasting away the weekdays, my grades plummeted and it was like nothing interested me anymore, my family, my life, my grades, girls, I was too tired and so just like you, I thought about jumping, I didn't actually do it the day that I first thought about it, I had lingering feelings, I knew my dad would be devastated to hear the news of my death, I loved the old man, and I didn't want that to happen, so I held out, it was like I was stretching a rubber band, then came the point when the rubber band snapped, that was when dad finally told us what his 'health problem' was, he was diagnosed with a malignant tumour in his brain, and just like that, my world crumbled into little pieces, I tried to act strong in front of him, and I tried to believe that he would survive but everyday, every moment, my heart shrunk a little with each groan of his, I waited for a miracle but he passed away without saying goodbye to me. I was drinking my sorrows away when I received a call from my mother, I declined it without hesitation, she kept calling and I didn't pick up, I just kept drinking, like a pig, and passed out on my friend's couch, then when I went home, I was met with a mess, my mother had grown pale from crying, my brother was crying too, in the corner, I didn't understand what was happening, I walked in, still hungover, and the next thing I remember is my mother slapping me, she hit me so hard that my vision became blurry. My dad was in the hospital morgue by now, a corpse, she said they waited for me, they waited so long, but I didn't come, she was looking sick, my brother just hugged me and cried, it seemed that my dad passing away had shaken sense into him, he cried but I didn't care, I went running out of the house like an idiot, thinking about where I wanted to go was a no brainer, of course, I'd finally have an opportunity to jump, not an opportunity rather I'd finally mustered up the courage to jump, I didn't have a reason to live anymore, and I stood on the ledge, I closed my eyes, and you won't believe it but I saw your face. I saw your eyes looking at mine, with hurt in every corner, I remembered my promise, I wanted to go back to you, apologise for how I bullied you and make you the reason for why I wanted to live.

I stepped down and cried my heart out, I was sorry that I didn't answer my mother's call, I was sorry that I didn't get to say goodbye to dad, I was sorry that I'd been wasting away-- I didn't have anything, no motivation, just an innate desire to make things right, and so after apologising to my family, I came back, mom and I couldn't see eye to eye, all I could do was apologise to my brother and we bonded, we became the best of friends, we started confiding in each other, every word of comfort and encouragement from him meant the world to me, but I knew that I couldn't stay there, then one day, I packed my bags and came back. I started school a day after I came back, that's probably why you were so shocked to see me at school that day, while registering for head girl, you looked really pretty, I wanted to tell you that, and I was delighted to see you. But after spending a bit of time here, I realised that you weren't as happy and perfect as you seemed, then one day, I went up to the rooftop of our school to take a breather, I was looking at the amusement park from the left side, while you were crying on the right side, you were in pain, and I saw you throw up, Leah, please don't do this to yourself, if you continue living like this, I'll not be able to sleep, for the past few days, I've had to take antidepressants again, I thought I was done with that but because of you, my insomnia has come back, worse than before, I lay awake at night wondering if you'll harm yourself because of me, I can't keep living like this, please help me. And so for god's sake help yourself."