Just Another High School Story!

Ethan had let her borrow his hoodie not because he minded going the one that he was wearing to her later but because he understood that she wasn't the type to take it, she wouldn't take it and wave him off, she didn't like relying on others, he'd made a mental note and listed her qualities, perfect seemed to be the first word that hopped up, but he'd let it subside and now saw a new word, independent, dangerously independent, even in physics class, she was in an advanced class, it was obviously hard, she wasn't awesome at math, she worked her ass off for it, she didn't receive help from anyone, she didn't sit in study groups, at first Ethan thought it was because she didn't like hanging out in a crowd but then he realised that everyone at their school was two faced, after becoming head boy, and seeing that friends would make fun of you, just to make conversation with someone cooler, he lost all hope but seeing Leah's animated spirits in trying to change the school system, he found that he was convinced he... now they, could do it... they would do it, definitely.

They climbed down the balcony instead of using the stairs, they thought sneaking was fun, even though they didn't have people to hide from, they walked under the night sky, Leah didn't say anything at first, she seemed to be deep in thought, her every movement made Ethan worry, was she liking this so far, would she love him as much as he loved her, for all she was, he was scared of his dark side, of the person he became when he got angry or jealous. Would she take him? Without question or wait for his explanations, never storm out of a room angrily, because he misspoke, would she patently stay by him when he was having a rough time, what did she think of him, his personality, how he'd behaved so far? As these thoughts occupied Ethan, Leah thought about who she wanted to be, she had seen how destroyed Ethan looked and realised that she'd hated him for no reason, sure, he'd bullied her, but she was the one who'd bullied herself too, constantly belittling herself, putting herself down in front of others, but most importantly, in front of herself, she'd been the biggest bully to herself, she wasn't selfish, but she was impish, she shouldn't have despaired all these years, instead she should have tired to live, then she resolved to change herself. She'd become who she wanted to be, not someone whose every move depended on others thoughts, their inclinations, she walked alongside Ethan and while Ethan was absorbed in thoughts about her, she was absorbed in thoughts about herself, she needed to love herself before she could love someone else, that was clear to her but how? She was going to begin on a new road, one that would be hard, as a purging bulimic the hardest thing would be restoring a healthy relationship with food, stopping her unhealthy binging and purging habit, something she'd been loyal to for the past few years, could she do it, would she fail? Would she stumble? These thoughts scared her and after silent contemplation, she finally looked at Ethan and spoke, "I'm sorry about that, I tend to think a lot when I walk without music filling my ears!" She was surprised at how she'd wanted Ethan to speak to her too, this was the first time it'd happened in years, every time someone talked to her, she acted like she was listening when in reality, she was always having a conversation with herself, a conversation that engrossed her, she had so much to say, that is precisely why she wanted to be a writer, she loved writing stories, she liked feeling all the emotions of a character, maybe she'd become a writer? Who knew?

Ethan was looking at the stars, absorbed in his own spectrum of thoughts, painted around Leah, when her voice reached his ears. It was like music to him, he muttered aloud, "That's exactly how it is for me. Well, if you keep talking then I won't have to think either, your voice is like music to me." Leah blushed and he loved her expression, she looked cute, then quickly realising what his words meant, he blushed too, and turned his head away embarrassed, he loved that he didn't have to think about speaking in front of Leah, speaking was a limiting thing, it required thinking prior to it, and on top that, your listener, the one you're talking to, needs to understand your words, words said lightly can never be forgotten, harsh words can't be forgiven and sweet words are heaven. Words hold so much power, what you say to someone matters a lot, because we humans have an extraordinary thing as Fanny Price said, our memory is one of the most fascinating things that we possess, we can remember moments clearly and sometimes words can leave an irremovable print on your mind, something that can't be hidden, something that can't be concealed no matter how thick the haze, that's why Ethan and Leah both, as people, valued words, for Ethan, the change had come recently, but it had come in such a way that he'd never have imagined, his thoughts seemed to have taken a 360 degree turn, he'd realised how big of a mistake being mean to Leah had been, he'd done things to her, said things that she'd never forget, he wanted a chance to try and erase those memories since they were sad ones, he wanted to make her forget but Leah's opinion about them had changed just as much, even though she'd suffered, her past was a part of her life, a part which if removed would leave a deep pit in her heart, when we're hurting we grow, we grow as people, we pick ourselves up, and keep going, then our mental strength grows, not only are we able to take more but we're able to open up more, hurt is a kind of exposure that we all wish to avoid, but harder the fall, higher the rise, hardships exist to make us stronger, we fall down so often, we were made so delicate and breakable, because we were also made strong enough to recover, because we were made strong enough to fight, climb a mountain, look for another, that is just the way of life, the pleasure that pain can give is indescribable. When you do something hard, or survive a strong wind, you shine, with a radiance that nothing else can supply-- a light so bright that the sun hides face in front of it.

Leah's mindset had changed as she'd finally realised that no one else was the reason of her unhappiness, it wasn't God's fault, he'd given her a healthy body, a sound mind and a beautiful soul, she'd not made use of the resources available to her, instead she'd been grumbling her whole life, making excuses, blaming others for her misfortunes, but her life was her sail that she had to keep afloat, it was entirely her responsibility to stand and face the winds she'd experienced, she started understanding why her mom was so mean to her all the time, maybe it was because she wanted Leah to become a resilient, strong and independent woman, who knew what her mom thought about life, maybe someday they'd be friends enough to ask.