Just Another High School Story!

Leah was behind on her studies, new to relationships, she'd never thought it would be so trying, and tiring, trying to work it out at the same time, she found it hard to balance, she couldn't put up with E's activities, he wanted to go out and drive around when she wanted to work out, he wanted to laze around and would make a lot of noise when he was already aware of how much Leah liked peace and quiet. She didn't want to admit it out loud, wait, to be accurate, she was scared to admit this to herself, but being with Ethan was tiring. She couldn't spend time with any of her other friends, all her others friends, or at least a major portion of them were boys, so whenever she asked him or expressed even the slightest desire to go out with the others, his face would drop, and he'd puff out a, "Sure." with such an unwilling face that Leah had no choice but to say, "I'll think about it. Maybe next time."

What Leah and Ethan were doing, was by no means easy. They were leaning on each other, how people lean on their families but families have a lot of people, if Leah wanted to dress up, Ethan couldn't show interest, to him she looked pretty in everything, and 'what exactly was different about a top with a little leaf-cut design and a simple one', if Ethan wanted to show her a cool boxing move, she couldn't help but smile awkwardly asking him to stop, with her eyes, of course, never out loud. She couldn't care about upper-cuts and jabs. It wasn't her thing. Her things weren't Ethan's . It was a total mess, they were having a break without telling each other about the break. They were just avoiding each other and sending texts that read, "I'm busy." But since, they were the Head Boy and Girl, they had to meet up at least four times a week, in the mornings to check the progress of events, line up new ones, and sort out clubs and activities, Leah was tired of her health not getting better, she was an impatient girl, just like most teenagers are. She didn't like sitting around doing nothing. She hated that she was being tied down, by this relationship of hers. She loved Ethan, without a doubt in her mind, but the way, he was controlling her. Her confidence hadn't gotten any better either, and she couldn't talk to Ethan about it, because of two reasons, who likes to tell the person they like that they don't like themselves, and second, since, Ethan was one of those guys who were confident about everything they said. From i's to t's, everything was crossed and dotted, nothing doubted, it was delirious for Leah to expect such a thing. On top of that, because of reduced exercise, and eating more than she used to, not purging, she could feel her heart lose the will to beat, yet again, and her mind lose the will to think, she was having suicidal thoughts again.

It'd been three months since they got together, most of which were okay for Ethan except for the occasional frustration, and exhaustion which he felt because of Leah's resigned attitude, he wasn't one to stay in so much, and she wasn't one to go out so much, he' d once thought that why were perfect for each other like soulmates, actually, they were both craving familial love and attention, ever member provides you with something, you can't expect one person to do that for you, you'll end up monopolising each other's time, and be unhappy. Leah didn't understand why her high school story was looking like it was over before it even began.

She was counting the students who'd enrolled to get admitted into their "Express Yourself" Programme, and there were a lot of entries, this was a new club, totally new and Leah, and Ethan had come up with it together. To make the silence that they were working in less awkward, Leah decided to coax Ethan, E was silent in the first place because he didn't want to argue with her, there had been palpable tension between them since the past week and honesty, he just wanted some peace, unlike other couples, both the parties in this relationship were scared of voicing out their stresses, and concerns because of what had brought them together in the first place, Leah had wanted to kill herself and Ethan felt deprived of all hope to live too because of lack of love, after some thoughts on their relationship, Leah started to be insecure, and worked whether they were together just because they needed each other, that way what they had was breakable, if one didn't need the other, the link between them would snap without forethought, and who's to say, maybe Ethan would find someone prettier, more outgoing, someone who can waste time him... what was happening?

I mean, these kids were crying in each other's arms, deeply in love, after Lucas' story, and what about Leah's resolution to get better for Ethan. Actually, the reason of Leah's wanting to get better was wrong, she didn't want to like herself for her own sake but for the sake of someone else, no matter how much you love someone, when you're in pain, or doing something hard for them, you can lose motivation easily, your 'will' will become a bendable pencil, one moment you're fired up, and ready to go, and then the next, it just isn't worth it. And since, you've got low self-confidence, you feel insecure, 'what if he doesn't like me after I change?' Your fire dies out before the flames turn really red, so what was happening right now was Leah didn't need Ethan to be there for everything, she needed to get a hold of herself, she'd gotten into a relationship with a shattered identity, you need to be strong to support someone else, and in a relationship, that is what every one's looking for, someone to lean on, therefore, it wasn't fair to Ethan, Leah couldn't be the only one to lean on, she had to give since she was taking, it isn't called give and take in a relationship, you don't do things for the person because you need to, you do them because you want to. That's the difference between a professional and personal relationship. Leah was also jealous, every time Ethan would pass by, she'd hear "Wows and Woos" from girls, who likes to have their boyfriend gawked at, as if they're a piece of cake or candy. Leah hated this feeling of inferiority, poor Lee was unaware of how much E was suffering because of Lee's popularity, every guy talked about her in gym class even though they knew his relationship with her, they would shrug it off as, "Oh, come on, he has her all to herself anyway, what's wrong with just talking about her." He wished they wouldn't. She was his. That made him waver, how could he hold on when she wasn't giving him anything to hold on to.

When they had arrived this morning, Lee was wearing AirPods, so she didn't immediately respond to E's, "Heya!" E wasn't pissed since he'd seen the AirPods but he wasn't feeling all that great about the fact that as her boyfriend, he'd only talked to her once that week, and that too, just for five minutes. This week had been especially tough for Lee, she was going through hell, but she wanted to be alone, sometimes, when Ethan said things like "Everything's gonna be alright." to comfort her, her hand clenched automatically, she had the urge to punch him, what was he preaching about, she just needed some silence, as someone who hadn't been doted on much as a kid, Leah felt the pressure of being the apple of someone's eye all of a sudden. E wasn't doing anything, he was scrolling to find "Bits", an app that Leah had created for everyone to share, flag, and reply to each other's stories, she used this app so that everyone and anyone who submitted stories could remain anonymous, and they could easily organise stories for their broadcast. Ethan was laughing at a joke in a story, when Leah climbed up to him, and started acting cute, this was her first time doing so, but you'd be surprised at how much your eloquence improves when you watch K-dramas too often. There's too much chicken soup for the soul there.

"Heya, are you mad at me?" she asked, and he didn't reply. She kissed him on his forehead, and apologised, then cheek, then finally lips, and Ethan couldn't take it anymore, he was holding a poker face but that melted away when her lips met his, he couldn't be mad anymore, even if he was aware of what she was trying to do, dissipate the tension without using words, but he couldn't let her off the hook easily either, otherwise what about the fact that since he'd been alone in his apartment for a week altogether, he wanted t cry himself to sleep last night. "Leah, is it too much of a burden to call your boyfriend every night?" Ethan asked pushing her away, roughly, though he didn't want to. "Ummm," she began, "It has been a bit tough this week, I'm sorry, besides you know I don't like to call people, you can come over, can't you?" then she shut her lips expectantly, was this explanation, obviously too vague, enough? Leah was falling asleep because of her medication, in the end, she was using the time she did remain awake to catch up on studies, how could she explain this to Ethan? The fact that being a top student wasn't easy. He barely gave a shit about his grades. Obviously, he could just win a sports scholarship, but what about Leah, and her taking time off from VB, for her, she was in a tight spot with her grades.

"Well then, you could've called me or texted me to tell me, I could come. Not thought about it in your brain, expect me to know, right?" Ethan asked. "Right, I'm sorry. Uri namchin, chaebal, biyane? Hmm?" (My boyfriend, please, forgive me.)

"Okay, fine, but I barely feel like I'm dating, we haven't even been on a proper date, have we, I haven't taken you to dinner, won you a soft toy, boy, you won't even let me pay for your food or anything. I know you don't like being dependant on others but come on, as your Namjachingo, honey, I have the right to take care of you." Leah's head was lowered but her heart swooned when she heard Ethan's words, "Right to take care of you." Why wasn't E working in some Korean drama himself. Oh my, her heart was beating faster, even though they'd been together for so long, she could easily fall in love with him all over again.