CHAPTER 9

"If I told you this was only going to hurt, If I warned you that the fire's gonna burn. Would you walk in? Would you let me do it first? Do it all in the name of love?"

—

Bebe Rexha

♪

Autumn lived for days like this. Days when she would wake up really late, have breakfast with her friends, and do whatever she wanted for the rest of the day.

That day was different though. Of course, it was. She and River had shared a kiss the day before and it was the morning afterward yet she couldn't get it out of her head.

Autumn stared up at her blank ceiling. Back home in Boston, her ceiling was filled with stars, glitter–the works.

She missed the times when things were so much simpler. When she'd come home from school and she'd play dress-up with Amby and then she'd fall asleep to the sound of River's voice singing to her through her headphones.

Oh, how she was attracted to the man now. She shouldn't have kissed him. She shouldn't have let him kiss her in return.

She even shouldn't be thinking of the way his lips felt on hers. She shouldn't be thinking of the way held her, the way he touched her. She shouldn't be thinking of the way he said her name with that voice that millions adored.

Regret filled her as she pulled herself up from her bed and raked her fingers through her hair. She looked around her room. She knew she should really get around to cleaning it soon but a messy room was the least of her problems at the moment.

As she lifted the blanket off her, she heard her phone ringing from where she had plugged it in to charge at its spot on her nightstand.

She lifted the device and her eyes lit up at the caller.

"Amby!"

"A!" Amber breathed. "It sounds amazing. Your vocals, the song, everything–I loved it!"

Autumn got out of her bed with her brows joined in confusion. "Amby, slow down. What are you talking about?"

"Your song, of course," Amby answered matter-of-factly before she went on, "I wasn't expecting you to let something out this early but when you come to think of it, I'd say it's–"

"Wait, wait," Autumn stumbled over the pair of her boots from yesterday that she'd forgot to put away. "Did you just say my song?"

She moved to settle in the chair at her desk.

Autumn refused to believe it. There was no way that the song she had recorded just yesterday was everywhere now.

There was no way.

No way.

"Your whispers in my heart," Amber sang, "they keep my hope alive and when I'm locked up in the dark you push my doubt aside. The lyrics are magical, A!"

"They're about you," Autumn admitted as she bagan to come around to the fact that her song was actually out there in the world.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Autumn could feel Amber's smile on the other end of the phone. "Well, now I can brag to all my friends that I have a song about me."

Amber paused before she went on with a question. "Do you think mom and dad might have heard it yet?"

Autumn tensed. "Our parents don't listen to music, Amby."

"I'll find out," Amber chirped and panic rose in Autumn's chest.

"No, wait, don't–"

Amber had gone and hung up on her.

Autumn stood from her seat with a sigh and leaving her phone behind, she headed out to the kitchenette. If Amber called their parents, she did not want to know what their reaction was.

Her roommates let out a hoot as Autumn stepped into the small kitchen area.

Well, Kendra and Freddie did. Dani was still half asleep.

"There's our resident superstar," Freddie grinned as he crossed the room to embrace Autumn.

"This is really happening," Autumn breathed as she settled down beside Dani on a counter seat after returning Freddie's hug.

"You trending on three social media apps or Kendra not reacting to Freddie hugging another girl?" Dani asked and Autumn cast a glance at Kendra just in time to catch her roll her eyes playfully at Dani.

Freddie went to stand behind Kendra and wrapped his arms around her waist. He placed a kiss on her cheek as Kendra dished out omelets.

"She knows where we stand," Freddie said right before Kendra placed a piece of omelet in front of him to taste.

"How's it?" she asked as she turned her neck to watch him. "I used your mom's recipe."

Freddie took a bite from the fork Kendra had placed in front of him, savored the taste in his mouth, and smiled down at his girlfriend. "You know you don't have to learn how to cook for me."

"I told you," Kendra sighed, "It's not for you, it's for our kids. Morgan never cooked for me and I'm not going to let that be the case for my kids. Now tell me what you think before I hit you for making me say her name."

"I love it," Freddie said with that look in his eye he got only when Kendra was around. "And I love you."

Dani imitated a barfing sound. "You both make me sick."

"So do RomComs, happy endings, and Autumn when a new River Crowns' song comes out," Kendra teased and as she placed plates of omelets and bacon before Autumn and Dani. "It's a wonder why you haven't died of such a horrid disease by now."

"It's not my fault his songs are killer," Autumn protested as she stabbed at her food.

Dani turned to Autumn, "but it's certainly your fault when my brain absorbs the lyrics and then I can't get it out of my head."

Autumn grinned. "So you admit his songs are catching."

"No, I admit his songs are byproducts of the heartaches of 50% of the female models and actresses out there."

"You can't blame him, does women knew what they were getting themselves into."

"That doesn't give him an excuse to– "

"No," Kendra interrupted as she grabbed a drink from the refrigerator. "No pointless debates. We're going out to celebrate today so–"

"I'm not going," Dani groaned.

"Yes, you are," Kendra countered with a sickly sweet smile at Dani.

"No, I'm not. You can't make me."

"Yes, I can."

"But I don't want to."

"So you expect me to standby and let you stay locked up in here all day with your laptop doing God knows what?"

Dani nodded. "Basically, yeah."

"You're going and it's final," Kendra said decisively before she continued, "We'll have lunch and flaunt Autumn around so if she forgets about us on the road to stardom we can still say 'we knew her when'."

"You knew me when what?" Autumn asked curiously.

"I don't know," Kendra said as she threw her hands in the air, exasperated. "When you'd lug Lyrae–"

"–You remembered her name–"

"–everywhere and sit for hours under that big ole tree," Kendra rolled her eyes at Autumn's pleasure and let out a sigh. "My point is... Babe, what was my point again?"

"No bickering?" Freddie offered.

A firm nod from Kendra. "Exactly."

This time, Autumn said it. "The both of you make me sick."

♪

"That makes ten," Dani concluded with a sigh as she raked her hands through her black waist-length locks to push them away from her face.

Mid taking a sip of her cold drink, Autumn asked, "Makes ten what?"

"This is the tenth compliment Kendra's given a stranger today," Dani explained.

"I don't see how that's a problem," Freddie stated as he rubbed Kendra's shoulders unconsciously.

"It means we've been here too damn long," Dani said with an edge in her tone. "We usually leave before the seventh compliment."

Freddie's lips moved to speak but he paused as he turned around to see what caused the ripple of murmuring that spread throughout the restaurant.

Autumn, as usual, ignored the voices as she drank her smoothie but that was till she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

"If you don't mind," an all too familiar voice said, "I'd like to steal your friend for a bit."

Without so much as a prelude, River positioned himself in a spot where Autumn could see him before he spoke, "Autumn, come with me."

Interlocking their hands, River led Autumn out of the restaurant. They climbed into the car River had arrived in where the star was certain of their privacy.

Taking the bull by its horn, River admitted, "I find myself attracted to you."

Autumn stared at him silently, transfixed by his emerald eyes and still a bit stunned to react. Her fingers were still locked in his and so was his focus on her.

"I've been thinking about you," River continued honestly, "That's bad because I know that I shouldn't be. Yesterday, when you kissed me, you took whatever was left of my self-control. Umm, this is very embarrassing for me."

'I knew it,' Autumn's subconscious cried in an 'I-told-you-so' tone. Autumn should have known better than to kiss him off all people and even let him kiss her back. He was River Crowns for crying out loud.

And here he was saying he was attracted to her. If she were Amber she might have believed it but she wasn't. She was the awkward one who was never on time, never asked about, and–Damnit!

She was so stupid. Kissing a celebrity just because he'd did her a favor and gave her his undivided attention? Now, he's probably trying to dismiss her as nicely as he could even if it meant lying to her face.

"Autumn, are you listening to me?" River asked with a frown at Autumn's expression.

When the realization hit him, his hands went to cup her face. "No, no, AL. I didn't mean it whatever way you're thinking. I meant that I'm embarrassed that I wasn't able to control my..." the star searched for an appropriate word, "...my urges. I could never be ashamed of kissing you. I would have apologized for kissing you but that would be a lie because I don't regret it."

"Really?" She wasn't buying any of this.

River nodded. "Truly."

"Umm, what was that you called me? AL?"

River rubbed behind his neck with an awkward smile. "It's my nickname for you from Autumn & Lorelai."

"Why?"

"I give everyone nicknames," River admitted. "Well, not everyone but people I fancy."

"I like it."

The star could smell her. The soft scent of flowers filled his nose. He closed his eyes imagining them lying together in a meadow of wild blossoms while feeling the sun warm on their skins.

He could feel her. Her hand still in his. Her fingers tips were a bit callous from playing her guitar though the rest of her hand was soft though like the rest of her. He wanted her hands on him, feeling him and touching him like yesterday but for now, a kiss would have to do.

He had to feel her lips against his so if she refused his proposal, he'd remember them.

"I'm glad," River said distractedly, "But there's something that I've been wanting to do and I know we shouldn't but I–"

"Just do it already."

He kissed her.

Autumn should have known better but obviously, she didn't. Amber was also the practical one. She was the one with more realistic dreams– Acquiring a doctor's degree, getting married, having kids. Whereas Autumn wanted to be a musician which–though she wouldn't admit it to herself– wasn't likely possible.

River pulled her into his lap. He was glad he had asked Biggie to stay outside the vehicle.

He held her waist as her lips touched his. She was as sweet and soft as he remembered. The taste of her was driving him mad as it filled his tongue. He slid into her mouth when she parted her lips to give him access. Her tongue was chill and it tasted mildly of strawberries.

He pulled back. "Strawberries?"

"My milkshake," she explained before he raised her head to meet his again.

She let his tongue in her mouth again. He was demanding, wanting to taste every last bit of her.

One of Autumn's hands was in his hair while the other held onto his shoulders.

She was pressed up against him now. River could feel the softness of her chest. He could hear and feel her heartbeat in a fast rhythm.

"Relax, AL," River murmured with his nose in her hair, taking in the flowery scent. It was everywhere.

"I like you on me," River admitted as he placed kisses on her jaw and his hands slipped beneath her top. "I like it a lot."

His lips moved lower, trailing kisses along her throat with his hands moving up and down her waist and hips.

A gasp escaped Autumn as he buried his head in her bosom, sucking lightly on the skin just above her breasts.

He pulled back and Autumn buried her face in his neck as she tried to catch her breath.

With a hand trailing slowly along her spine, River said, "I've got a proposition."

Heavens, help her. After kissing her that way, she'd say yes to anything.