BlackRikudo

Intro: all my life I felt like an outcast because of the way I look, the ideology I possessed, and the things I been through. I feel like everyday is a fight in a never ending war, whether it’s to survive or get the will to want to survive. For everyone fighting, understand you will never be fighting alone. I left a lot out for personal reasons that I might add but my goal was to shed some light on mental health, I also always wanted to be an anime character cause growing up and watching them go through so much and still have the strength to fight inspired and motivated me to do the same but a lot of them didn’t show the emotional trauma that comes from all of those fights that you win or lose and so this is about how I’ve been fighting mental health. I also want to point out that I didn’t overcome these battles alone, I had help but I didn’t mention it a lot because I felt alone, and to put it into perspective of those who are actually alone, and sorry I’m bad at story telling, I’m still figuring everything out just like avante is.

DetriMental

After I got a new job I started meeting girls that  liked me and I met this one girl in particular that worked down the street from me that I liked but she had a bf, long story short I got played again so I started talking to someone else and I found out these two girls didn't like each other and the original girl wanted me to stop talking to her, I'm like hell no you don't even want me anyway, I probably should've listened cause she had mental issues of her own but I knew that and wanted to help, long story short again I got played again and I went broke again and my depression came back but this time was different.  It wouldn't be a one sided fight ever again.


Depression: long time no see huh I see you're still ugly 


Avante: not uglier than you and I'm content with that 


Depression: oh I see you got some jokes and self love now, you think that's enough?


Avante: unlike you who will never be satisfied, it's enough for me


Depression: you talk a big game but where did that bring you? 


Avante: didn't you come to me? You lucky I can't sue figments of my imagination for harassment 


Depression: you can't even afford a lawyer anyway you goofy 


Avante: not like I'd get anything from you either, all you have is negative opinions


Maybe you should learn to love yourself instead of projecting on to others 


Depression: awww that hurt my nonexistent feelings


Avante: you aren't going to win, in case you didn't notice I have plot on my side this time 


Depression: you must really think you're an anime character huh, alright I'll play along


I'll be back for the character development arc 


3 years have gone by, I have been killing it, I'm constantly happy and laughing, I got a new job with more friends, I have more money now and I'm achieving the goals I set for myself, life isn't exactly how I want it but I'm enjoying it, but like always, it's only a matter of time before I have to fight again, i just wonder who's coming back , I haven't seen depression and ptsd in a while, I had fell in love with this girl who I truly felt was the one that I would spend the rest of my life with, she also had mental issues but to each other it didn't seem like an issue anymore, I didn't overthink around her, I could actually sleep really good around her too, her touch calmed my anxiety and she provided a safe space for me so hyper vigilance also wasn't a problem. That all changed after my broke my arm. I was meliodas and they just revived the 10 commandments to beat my ass. This is when I found out my greatest ally was also my greatest enemy. 


Avante vs depression: rematch