Lady Fox's Diary page 2

I swallowed when listening to him, I know he was right, in such a short time he had already made this place a total chaos, and the truth is that I did not regret it, it is not my fault, it is not my intention, but at the same time if  ... I don't know how I can even look at his face

-I ... I'm sorry father

I said lowering my head in regret

-Please.  I feel that once my sins expire I will be able to go back to being a normal woman, and not what I am now. Please father.  I know I don't deserve it, but ... I need it ...

I looked at him again as he crossed my hands in front of my skirt

-I do not want to resort to methods of the past to appease what I feel now

-Get out of my sight.  Your forgiveness is not yet deserved.  Not even regret for your actions is reflected in your gaze.

He alleged as he walked down the aisle

-God has a plan for everyone, and whenever we seek it, we will obtain forgiveness.  But you, you still don't deserve to be forgiven.

I could feel these last words in a somewhat brusque tone.  I just lowered my head, I did not know what else to do or say, since my first confession I had treated me like this, and it is assumed that the father is the one who protects his daughters, he does not leave them to the mercy of the world, that the truth does not exist

-I'm sorry ... to bother you ... Father ...

I made a little bow to it to begin to withdraw

-Come back when you show a hint of regret in your cloudy eyes.

And so I left the room closing the door behind me;  only when leaving I stopped for a second to think, I was still holding the doorknob, the truth had not advanced much

-Sorry father, I didn't want to do this, but I have no choice

I slowly released the doorknob and started to walk away, heading to my room through the long corridor of the monastery.  Each step was a different moan, a woman screaming, the odd shackle rattling.  I had always caught all my prey, and it was without a doubt the best, but who would say that these nuns were going to learn the basics so fast, and that my only prey that I had in this place and moment, was framing me further and further.

-Not....

Whispered

-no no no

By the time I realized I was running down the aisles while holding my dress

-What have I done?

I got to my room and locked myself in it, regret was eating me inside, it was my fault, I was the one who taught them to feel good about themselves, but I can't even do it with myself and I never thought ... That this  it could be like that

** (...) **

-I can't take it anymore ..... I can't .... I have to look for .... That which fills me up ....

I looked at the different toys that were on the table in my room, the clothes that I had left on the bed with a somewhat soft veil

-Maybe .... The father is right ..... And my forgiveness does not exist .... Or maybe my forgiveness was simply in my body enjoying pure sex ...

She was standing naked in front of the bed, the bedroom door ajar, and she was looking at the pieces of clothing on the mattress.

-Perhaps.....

After a few minutes I felt a chill run through my entire body, a cold on my back, I shuddered completely.  A strong, imposing presence, but he didn't even know where it came from, he had never felt anyone in it with such an aura.  Maybe they were just my imaginations, so I started to dress leaving all strange facts aside, that look on the back of my neck, it made no sense in a monastery, right?  I finished by putting on the red lace underwear, and a dress of soft fabric, quite comfortable.  As for the toys ... I threw them all into a drawer, there were too many to be able to carry them downhill on the way, and I preferred to go light.  I closed it with a key that I hung around my neck, there had already been incidents of my missing things, including important pieces of my clothing.

I finally left the room, no heels on so the quick walk wouldn't get noisy.  I looked around the monastery, some of the women were still panting, apparently they were all very tired or very busy, so take the opportunity to leave quickly, and once in the garden run towards the entrance.

-I think the best thing is to look for easy prey, or something that entertains me

I started my journey away from the place, I did not know the roads perfectly, I admit it, because since I moved to this country I was locked up in that monastery;  luckily I had a good memory, enough to remember the way home, if that could be called home, for the rest, I just started walking to see what hunting ground I could find.  Luckily, I didn't spend a lot of time walking until I found a place, it seemed like a bar where some extravagant music came from, it wasn't from my presence, but it seemed to be the only one around.

My first reaction when looking inside I remember it as if it were today.  It looked simple but elegant at the same time, there was music blaring and several people on the dance floor.  And that's where I met my first sin.  At the bar you could see some men, some drunk, another reviewing notes, one filtering with a woman at his side, and thus different varieties of idiocy or little else.  At the tables there were all kinds of people hanging out in their own way, but only one word would describe the atmosphere.  Switched on.

- ~ Ah ~, again in a place like this, I just returned to my days as a useless drinker.  I hope to at least find something ... Useful ~

I thought as I walked up to the bar and took place in one of those chairs farthest from the rest of the world, so to speak.  I raised my hand, typical to ask for an order, and then I saw a man in a waiter's suit approach my position;  and everything would have gone well and just as indifferent if looking at the manager I had not been perplexed.  He was a young man, well preserved, with black hair and sea-colored eyes, so beautiful that I seemed to slowly sink into them.  He himself was shuffling a deck of cards that he now kept in his uniform jacket, and in turn ignored the comments of the girls who were flirting with him.

-Wow, a new face

I stared at him for a few minutes, I couldn't help it, it seemed so familiar.

-How can I help you, beautiful lady?

-A drink ... Of half alcohol .... Please ...

I said returning a smile and looking forward, now looking at the bottles that adorned the bottom of the bar.  Today would not be the first time that a man saw me head-on and my legs gave out, although that has already happened to his father, and I don't know why.

-Does a margarita sound good to you?

While he was speaking he would take different things to prepare the drink.  I just nodded as he took a look at the bar to come across the frightening reality that I already imagined, there was nothing for me in that place.

-Then a margarita marching

I sighed and looked forward again, this time to notice what he was doing, he looked sexy doing his job, maybe that's why he called so much the attention of those girls.

-Rookies ...

I reclined quietly for their stupid acting, if you're going to act, make it more believable.  Ladie shook my head and I closed my eyes letting my hand serve as a support over the bar.  I had reminded myself of the only times when sex was a good thing in my life, and when not having it was also good.

-Dad.....

Whisper to myself

-I have to get you out of my head

-Here's his margarita.

The boy's voice took me out of my thoughts, I saw how he slid the glass towards me, and as my hands brushed his a small start appeared, clearly on the part of him

-Enjoy.

And just as fast as he came he left, I think I didn't want to fall into that game, and I liked that, I like challenges.  I took the drink and I turned around on the bar to rest my elbows on it, crossed my legs, lifting my dress slightly, and began to drink slowly;  I liked to take my time and well, see if something of interest to me appeared out of nowhere.  You know, like in the fantasies in the movies.

-I just hope it's not a waste of time

There was nothing remarkable for a good couple of minutes, the closest thing to the fun I was looking for was the sexy and nervous sea-colored eyes;  or so I believed until the sound of the doors of the premises being opened caught my attention.