Introduce please?

I arrived home to see that my kids had returned home to celebrate my birthday. They were excited to see me. Also they were waiting for me to introduce them correctly. They insisted so I called my new security team to join me in the sunroom. They lined up in a row and waited for instructions. I smiled nervously, "These are my kids. I want you to get to know them so if they show up. You won't make a fuss and refuse to let them in. I have done my part so I will go upstairs and take a shower. Introduce yourselves any way you like" Edge stepped forward before I took my first step, "Hi my name is Edge. It is not the name on my birth certificate. I was named that because I used to be a wild child. Mini mom got tired of telling me off. She said between gasps 'You are Edge' after she pulled me off the roof after I was almost struck by lightning." The team gave me a look as I shook my head. Sasha gave him a nudge. Edge quickly finished sheepishly, "I am a college professor and in three years I will earn my tenor. I suffer from depression." Sasha pulled him back and introduced herself actually she introduced me first. "This is the woman who raised us so we called her Mini mom because she was a kid too. She may have graduated from MIT but she still was legally a child." I waved my hand and the triplets hugged me tightly. I had to sit down till they felt best to let go. Sasha continued obliviously, "My name is Alexandria. After MM convinced me to do fight training she gave me my nickname. She said me name is Sasha after I won a karate tournament. I protested about it till she explained it means defender of mankind. I felt like I had the coolest name in the world. I am now a professional MMA fighter." Before she said anything else the triplets interrupted her, "Our names are Anon, Tank and Breaker. One of us works with Mini Mom at work. The other is a college professor and the last one works at NASA. We have a list of people you need to keep an eye on." I laughed and dragged them back to the couch. Sasha thanked me and she stepped aside. Bats and Bob stepped forward and Sasha introduced them, "This is Bats and Bob our family's only germaphobes. The sterilization procedures of Bats would drive you Bats. Don't send him on an emergency errand he will get to it eighty three hours after you request it. Because he has to remove any harmful bacteria on his body. Bob is the same but he is milder when it comes to cleaning. You can trust his errands skills if you want to test the level of your patience." They gave her a dirty look as security roared in laughter. When it subsided they talked about their time in CDC. Posh came forward, "Hi I am Posh." One of the female security guards smiled, "You look posh" He blushed, "I own several publishing companies" He sat down without further explanation. Ems came forth and she was delighted to meet them. "Hi! pleased to meet you. My is Ems. I am a pediatric surgeon. I hope we get along. I am Edge's baby sister. Mini Mom calls us double trouble" The triplets interrupted again, "You have to protect her from these monsters. Their assault takes place annually. We have recent photos so have them memorized because when these monsters come crashing all year round. Usually things get ugly." Ems stepped aside as the triplets explained the Ninety four pictures one by one. The team listened with great interest as they were briefed by the kids. I walked upstairs and for a quick shower to continue the introduction.