The Bridge Between Life And Death

'Death Is The Golden Key, That Opens The Palace Of Eternity.' ~John Milton

What Is Death? An Endless Void Of Darkness That Eventually Consumes Us, Erasing Our Very Existence From This Planet, Or Is It A Gateway Towards A New World, A New Life?

An Individual's Pursuit Towards Death, Towards A Meaningful Existence Sometimes Amazes Me. Why Strive So Hard For Something, If Everything Is Temporary? In The End It Wont Matter, Because Its All A Fleeting Illusion.

But Then I Remember, Maybe Its What Enables Humans To Seek Some Meaning, While They Are Alive. To Believe In Something And Move Forward. To Know, To Understand. And What Is The One Factor That Keeps Them Strong Throughout Their Trials And Tribulations?

Faith.

"Faith." The Amber Eyed Man Stares At Me, His Hands Clasped Together, As He Watches Me And Smiles. "Let Us Try To Understand What You Seek, Shall We?"

"I Don't Seek Anything." I Look At Him With A Cold, Blank Stare. "What I Seek Is An End To My Meaningless Life."

He Laughs. His Voice Is Deep, Almost Calming. He Smokes A Bit And Ashes His Cigarette In The Ash Tray.

"I Am Sure You Must Have A Lot Of Questions. Don't You?" He Stares At Me Again.

I Squirm A Little, As I Stare Back At Him From My Bed. I Turn My Gaze Towards The Wall Clock. Its Almost 1:30 AM. I Slowly Turn Back Towards Him And Mumble, "What Was That Envelope That You Gave Me? You Must Be Pretty Sick In The Head To Play A Joke Like That On Someone."

He Lights Another Cigarette, As I Cough. "Anything That Amuses Me, Catches My Attention. If You Believe That Life Is That Easy, Then Probably You Aren't Ready To Experience Things. Just Yet." He Replies With A Snarky Grin. "And Anyways, I Don't Play Jokes. You Will Understand Soon What I Mean."

I Stare At Him, Visibly Irritated. I Ask Questions And This Man Replies To Me In Riddles. I Don't Need Riddles. My Life Has Been A Complex And Intricate Web Of Lies And Riddles. And I Was Tired Of It.

"I Know You Must Be Very Irritated. After All, Your Life Hasn't Been Exactly Fulfilling." He Rambles On.

"Stop." I Look At Him With An Intense Gaze. "I Don't Want Your Pity, Sympathy, Or Empathy. If You Have Nothing Useful To Say, Don't Say Anything At All." I Sigh. "And What Do You Know Huh!? About Me? About My Life? You Have Been Stalking Me Right? Bet You Are Just One Of Those Irritating Loan Sharks Out To Get My Money. Well Sure, Come To An Individual When She Is The Weakest! When She Is In The Hospital. That Fulfills You Right!?" I Ramble On Angrily. "And Of Course As Part Of Your Idea To Mentally Break Me, You Decide Its Better To Play A Sick Prank By Giving Me That Envelope."

"If You Could Go Back In Time, Would You Save Your Parents?" He Counters With A Calm, Composed Voice.

I Choke As I Quickly Turn My Face Away , Towards The Window. All My Life, I Have Regretted The Fact , That I Couldn't Have Done Anything.

"Do You Know Why You Are So Resilient? Death Calls To You, It Beckons To You, But You Never Die. Do You Ever Think Why?" He Lights Out His Cigarette.

"Because I Am Fated To Suffer." I Mumble Tearfully As I Look Outside.

"Millions Of People Suffer Everyday. Some Have Problems Greater Than Your Own. Some Deal With Them, And Some Don't. Its All About How You Deal With It. Imagine Fate Is A Tree. The Branches Of Fate, Are Destiny. And The Smaller Sub Branches Of Destiny, Are The Paths You Select To Reach There. When A Seed Is Planted, The Tree Grows On The Basis Of A Variety Of Different External Factors. And Thats Where You Come In. Nothing Is Pre Programmed. Everyone Changes, Adapts And Understands Differently. And Their Lives Are Dictated, Based On The Choices They Make." He Remarks.

"Thanks For The Free Therapy." I Look At Him. I Am Tired. I Want To Sleep, But Instead I Am Being Given A Philosophical Lesson At 1:30 AM. What A Perfect Day.

"Fate Has Nothing To Do With Why You Never Die. Its Only Because, You Have A Purpose. That You Need To Fulfill. Thats What Keeps You Alive."

I Sigh. I Continue To Stare Outside As The Man Quickly Picks Up His Hat And Wears It.

"Goodbye Faith Clair."

I Turn Back Towards Him, But He Is Long Gone. I Feel Calm, And Strangely At Peace.

Maybe Sometimes Answers Are Not Necessary. Some Things Are Better Left Unanswered.

I Have A Purpose? Other Than Suffering, I Doubt I Have Any Other Purpose. For Me, Life Is An Endless Cycle Of Chaos And Dread. What Purpose Could I Possibly Serve?

As I Close My Eyes Preparing To Drift Off Yet Again, I Hear An Echo Of An Owl Hooting, Coming From Afar. I Smile, Knowing That I Am About To Experience A Nightmare Yet Again.

~•~•~•~

Its March. And I Am Back Home.

Life Has Returned Back To 'Normal'. The Same Usual Daily Routine, And The Same Horrible Experiences. Police Investigation Continues As Normal As The Detectives Visit My Home Every Other Day.

I Hear That The Man Who Tried To Destroy Me, Is Getting A Double Life Sentence. Hearing That Doesn't Make Me Feel Anything. I Should Feel Elated, But I Just Feel Numb.

Stephanie Comes By Everyday With Her Tiny Little Kids To Try And Cheer Me Up. I Feel Happy, In Their Company, Because It Distracts Me Momentarily From My Messed Up Life.

Today However Is Different. April Is Coming Soon, And The Day Of My Birthday Is Drawing Near. Stephanie Is Unusually Excited, I Have Never Seen Her So Euphoric.

"We Will Have A Mini Party, You And Me! We Will Watch Movies All Night!" She Giggles As She Serves Me Soup.

"Well Of Course." I Mask My Sadness Behind A Warm Smile. "It Will Be Fun To Have You With Me Stephanie."

"Well Of Course." She Flips Her Hair. "I Am A Very Fun Person."

I Choke On My Soup Trying To Control My Laughter. After A While Stephanie Leaves And I Am Left All Alone With My Thoughts To Give Me Company.

I Open A Book As I Try To Read. It Tells A Story Of A Man Travelling Between Two Realms, The Living And The Dead, To Find His Wife Who Passes Away. He Eventually Rescues Her From The Realm Of The Dead, But As They Reach The Bridge Between The Two Realms, She Withers Away , Because She Is No Longer Mortal, And Thus Is Not Permitted To Enter Our World.

For Others, It Is A Love Story, But For Me, The Woman Is The Hero, Because She Transcends Human Fragility And Mortality To Attain Salvation.

I Turn Off My Bed Lamp And Close My Eyes As I Stare Outside Yet Again. The Sound Of Smaller Animals Fills The Air As They Emerge From The Snowy Blankets Of Winter.

Spring Has Sprung.