chapter 6: things fall apart

She looked at the sky and pity and despair could be read on her face. She felt desperate and unworthy. Her life was now useless. She remembered her mother's words. But the words were of no use to her anymore. The worst had already happened. She lost all hope in life her bright future was now dim. Flashbacks on how the villagers were hopeful were vivid in her mind. Now she had ruined her life. Ideally, she did not find anyone to blame. She knew she had ruined her own life. She cried and cried for the whole night. Morning came and she did not go to class. She stayed in the house and did not talk to anyone neither did she eat anything. Her roommate went to class and came back. Wangeci admired her roommate's life. She had no boyfriends, yet she was happy he classes were normal and she was not pregnant like her.

How was she going to break the news to her parents? The question she did not have an answer to. Days passed without eating or bathing. After three consecutive days of not eating, she was starving and her roommate got worried. Her body was weak and she could not even eat anything. She was seeking help from a doctor and wangeci was give some energy tablets to give her strength. She woke up in the evening and ate something before going back to bed. All she did the whole day was feel pity for herself and cry. Her confusion felt like a nightmare her life had never been this terrible. She looked up to God for help. What did she expect God to do? The worst had already happened. She was now coming to terms with the fact that she is supposed to take care of herself. She had to dust off and face life. After one week, she attempted to go to calls but the professor called her to the office immediately.

She had missed more than 30% of her class that semester. She could not continue with classes and the only option she had was to refer her classes till the following semester. Things were moving from bad to worse. "I have seen worse things in this campus" the professor claimed, "what is your problem?" "No sir am ok" she claimed. "I can help you if you tell me your problem". The professor asked "nothing sir am very fine" she claimed after persuading her to speak to avail. The professor advised her on how to defer her program to the next semester since she could not continue with class after missing over 30% of the class. Now she had to stay at home and take care of herself and her unborn child.

She was sitting in her room alone. Hungry and depressed. She had not eaten anything. Her pregnancy was 9 weeks now. She felt unease and wanted to rush to the washrooms but she collapsed on the way. She woke up in the hospital surrounded by doctors and nurses. She thought she was dreaming. "Who are you and where am I," she asked "you are in the hospital and we are sorry that you lost your baby due to depression and stress," The doctor said, "but you are now out of danger". The news hit her so hard that she almost collapsed again.