Ishigami Search Party

I came here to celebrate Ishigami's birthday anyway, so I'll play along... God! I didn't know it was this pleasant to be an older sibling! If only father wasn't such a puss!

"D-Dead eyes! There's something wrong!"

And there's my first opportunity to act like big brother!

"What happened, Shiat-"

"You've come back, you brat! I'll teach you a lesson this time!"

|...|

Who the hell is this old man?! He looks massive! Is he a Six-foot bodybuilder or something?!

"Uhh... Excuse me, sir? Are there any problems?"

"You're this brat's father?!"

Do I look that old?! Ishigami and I do share similar facial features... heck, the resemblance between Ishigami and an eleven-year-old me is flawless!

"H-He's my brother! So fuck off!"

"Y-Yeah! Ishigami is right! This man with dead eyes is our brother!"

"Hahaha! Ishigami and Shiatsu are throwing Miles under the bus!"

Is this the moment where I defend my siblings? Against this colossal man?! Yeah! Hell no! Sorry, you devil spawns, but I ain't sticking up for all of you!

"Is that true, you fucking twig?!"

"Uhh... these kids got the wrong person, sir! I'm not related to any of them!"

"You don't mind if I teach them a lesson, then?!"

"..."

What do I do?! I can't pull off a madlad's ludicrous like I usually do! Think, Miles! Think!

"M-Miles... w-what do we do?!"

"D-Dead eyes... what now?!"

"Hahaha! We're all dead!"

Ahh! Stop looking at me with puppy eyes! They're holding onto my arm as if their lives depend on it! Quit doing that! It's making me want to do something!

"Hurry up, you twig! These brats have been stealing from my stall! Let me teach 'em a lesson!"

Stealing?! These brats are the devil's offspring, but I didn't know they'd go that far... I have to lecture them later, but for now, I'll deal with this old geezer!

"Never mind you old bag. I guess these three are my little brothers, after all!"

"Wanna fight now?! You're showing off those abs like you some big shot!"

Oh, I'm still shirtless. But that works out for me! He raised his two fists up to shoulder level, and the geezer is in a fight stance... Hahaha! How perfect!

"How sinful of you! An adult is willing to throw hands with these children?! That's a criminal act, don't you think?"

"Oi! What are yo-"

"Please have mercy on these children! They were only trying to get food for our family! I'll pay you back for what they've stolen!"

If the enemy overpowers you, let them fight someone else! Will this old geezer be able to threaten us while under the eyes of the crowds? It's him against the world, and I don't like his odds.

"Look at what's happening here! Get your phones!"

And the crowd said! We're standing out now!

The masses are encircling us. I guess being shirtless in the middle of a festival attracts attention.

"T-Those brats s-stole from me and-"

"And what? You're going to beat them up for it? My! How barbaric!"

"Stop lying, you twig! I-I'll call the guards!"

"Weren't you going to beat us up? Wouldn't that backfire on you?"

Great! It's working! The old geezer is starting to stutter, and he isn't as arrogant as before. The brats and I can walk away from here without any trouble!

"Well then, kind old man... What do you suppose we do now?"

"Ah! Fuck it! Go ahead and pay back what you've stolen!"

"Thank you for your mercy."

That should get us out of this predicament! All that's left is the money! Good thing my little brothers have cash! It's a scumbag's move, but I'm broke, so fuck it!

"Alright, Ishigami... give me the cash, please?"

"No!"

"..."

Eh?

"Go to hell, you old geezer! This money is to buy dead eyes a gift! We ain't going to give it to a scumbag like you!"

"Shiatsu is right! This is for Miles, not you!"

"Hahaha! We always mess around Miles, but we still like him!"

Oh...You cheeky brats... It's inconceivable, but these three devil spawns know how to make me happy...

Arghh! What a delightful feeling! If these brats keep doing stuff like this, I'll legally adopt them! Kiatsu and Ishigami are orphans. And oddly enough, Midway law states that you can adopt at the age of eighteen, so all I have to do is wait a year!

Ahh! Back to the present, Miles! We're still in a predicament!

"What did you say, you brats?! I'm calling the guards!"

"C-Calm down, sir! L-Let us talk this through!"

"If you ain't paying, there ain't going to be talkin'!"

This geezer is a stubborn old man! There's no convincing this hard head! All I can do is...

"Ishigami! Hand him the money already!"

"No! This is our hard-earned cash!"

"Ishigami is right, dead eyes! B-Be grateful we're using it on you!"

"Hahaha! We're not giving away our money!"

These kids are as stubborn as that old man! This isn't the time for generational similarities!

"Ahh! I appreciate the sentiment, but you guys stole from him!"

"We didn't steal anything, Miles!

"Yes, dead eyes! We didn't steal!"

"Hahaha! Miles is accusing us of stealing!"

No dice! I guess I have to kneel down...

"Ishigami, Kiatsu, and Shiatsu... this isn't time for tricks. Just hand the old man his money to repay for what you've stolen."

"I told you we didn't steal anything, Miles! Forget it! Here's your stupid money! I thought you were different!"

"Ishigami!"

|...|

He... ran away.

What the hell was that about...

"D-Dead eyes! The guards are coming! What do we do?!"

"Hahaha... we're going to jail!"

Ishigami... tell me, what was that...

"Dead eyes! Are you listening?!"

"Oh... sorr-"

"The guards are coming, dead eyes!"

What do we do?! I want to run after Ishigami, but that means fleeing from the police.

When Ishigami threw his money at me, his eyes were teary... Haha, I've overestimated these brats. They're still kids at the end of the day, and they still need affection.

I apologize, Ishigami! I'm a failure as a brother! I'm supposed to be the first person to believe in you! But I accused you instead! Pathetic, Miles! How pathetic!

Fuck it! I'm running after him! I'm associated with the Chief of Police, so if I ever get caught, I'll abuse my connection with Sir Rigor! For now, I'll be the brother I'm supposed to be!

"Kiatsu! Shiatsu! Your brother ran away. What do you guys do if that happens?"

"The answer is as clear as day, dead eyes! We follow Ishigami till the ends of the earth!"

"Hahaha! We're running from the police!"

"Alright then, brats! Last one to find Ishigami has to smell Uncle Jerry's socks!"