Extracts from Ta-hawa’s Journal (25/June/2010): The world must move on, but, not I  

Huh… I'm finding it difficult to keep writing, as words do no justice to my nightmares. I find myself crying at times without even knowing. That's why I have been away, I couldn't find the strength to write, let alone, moving on.

I might as well as note this before it becomes too depressing to relive, even if just in thought.  The Court Assembly was a convergence of the elite among our factions, in fact, government officials were known to be the lowest to partake in such a gathering. Luckily for them, this time I would take that status as a witness. I sat next to Princess Ngoma, I am glad she did not mind. For the first time since we met in Athlone, she was sympathetic towards me, perhaps it was also since I was Heru's ward, nevertheless, I was appreciative of the gesture, we did, after all, share something.

On the far right corner, booth set Heru kwa Nzinga, heir to the throne of the Nzinga Kingdom and Supreme Aristocrat of all Kongo, which made him prime to the others. He looked at me with a smile as he gestured a seat next to him. I returned the smile but refused the gesture. Heru kwa Nzinga was mighty in power, but, as humble as a child and never taken to pride in his status which he so easily shares with his nephew, David Kufu, who was about to be trialled, as well, Charged with heresy for destroying the Katharos Code. On Heru's left set the king who was second to Heru in the Kongo Royal Hierarchy, Queen Mamba, the Emperor of the Nzadi Empire. Well, technically she cannot be a queen because a queen is not a ruling title and only a King can rule and since the title of a king is not limited to gender. You get the point.

king Mamba was absolutely powerful, even the Maditau who is unmatched was fond of her prowess. Queen Mamba is affectionately called the Black Mamba, a beautiful yet dangerous creature, similar to her. On the lower booth set only the Royal powers of Far North, Eze Ikenga of the Igbo Kememu, King Nana Mensa of the Ashanti Kamemu and his majesty Idris ibn Abdallah XII of Morocco.   Since Kemet is the birthplace of all the kingdoms, empires and states of the United Kemet, the president and her prime minister represented the government.

On her left was a vacant seat for the Nzinga Kingdom which, has been kingless for years but left under the stewardship of Heru's younger brother. My father sat on the last seat as he ranked the lowest. I still hold resentment towards him as he didn't aid me in my time of need.  Heru made me his ward on the spot and did what my father couldn't do, coward.

There were other dignitaries involved but none important to spend my ink on. Usually, the Maditau would be the judge at such a gathering but she was summoned for questioning and a possible trial and therefore, the Order of Musa was placed to judge. The Maditau as usual, materialized at the stand causing most to gasp in enchanted amazement. That's how she moved a crowd with her theatrics.

"I understand the charges and I accept them all", she began so ceremoniously. For the longest-living human being, it's difficult to imagine that she's human. The godly status that she collected throughout the ages. The Maditau was once the personification of Sekhmet.

I guess she and Bast dominated the godly game centuries ago. She moved the court with her melodious voice and cunning beauty but not like that of Mami Watta, no. The Maditau's beauty radiated eminence, power, and that was a sovereign fact.

She paused. "I beg you, my Mistress, oh great Oracle", said Judge Anele Makubela, Head Judge of the Order of Musa. He was already enchanted by her presence, an effect that has recently become sickening towards me. "I love my brethren. I love this soil and perhaps because I have witnessed the world bloom from this majestic earth called Alkebulan, I am ready to be sentenced", she moved the courtroom, a few were pokerfaced but the rest were in trance, affectionate and disheartened by her decision as if they didn't want to sentence her.

"Many have ponded at my age, or how long I have lived. The only fight that I have not witnessed is with my twin brothers. I was born a hundred and fifty years later. The one twin was murdered by the other, and his murderer fled to Nod. I have seen wars come and go and in so many I have failed to protect my people.", she paused. 

"This...", a poetic start. "This was a turning point in the making, and I made it. Years from now, our descendants will look to this period and recognize the valour of each lost soul who died for a just cause…", she stopped as a tear cascaded down her spellbinding face.  "Remember what I did was not in vain. Our brethren who now run free on an endless vast did not depart in vain. Juda…", she wept.

It was only then had I realized how much she had actually loved him. All this time I thought she raised him like a pig for slaughter, and halfway through she began to see him as her own. She was there every step of the way, watching him, whispering words of encouragement. Her insane way of nurturing Juda into a fallen hero. Her sentiment echoed through the court chamber. One could feel her remorse, not the regret of a fallen soldier but that of a forsaken son.

"Juda Kufu…", she began, "did not die in vain and his sacrifice… his blood is a symbol to the beginning of what is to come", she paused. I felt for a moment, melancholy. After roaming in Europe on a murder tour under her beguiling complement, I knew too well of its eluding effects but this was different. It was genuine. Her words were beyond remorse, and for someone who appeared to have never been there, she was always watching him.

She watched and trained JK throughout his life. That narcissistic smirk on his face now and then was her effect upon him, her teachings. The Maditau did not have to say it but it was evident she lost her son, JK.

"Perhaps this time my actions were too brutal and evil in the eyes of all present, here. I assure you as evil is my action may appear to you my deeds are why you all came here safely. It is why you all get to return to your homes, safely. My actions and sacrifices have afforded you bliss and prosperity and you use that to sentence me," this time she smiled but there was something sadistic about it. Most in the room bowed their heads in shame, succumbing to the realization of what they did or perhaps upon what the Maditau wanted them to think.

None of them wanted to sentence the Maditau. It has never happened before. She was and, still is the greatest symbol of power in all of Kemet. 

Anele Makubela cleared his throat, "it is with profound regret and with a heavy heart that we have brought her lordship in our presence", he sighed regretfully. That was the Maditau Effect. She could change your choice for you whilst you thought there were your own, a dangerous skill. It was truly a God-complex. "we shall resume after a five-minute interval", he trembled as he stood up. The Order of Musa followed his lead to their chamber to alter the final sentence.

I stood on the far end of the terrace with a hand on the bannister. My mind kept repeating images of JK, images I felt resentment for remembering, as the ruthless smile on his face. The way he would lift an eyebrow when I'd tease him and the firm stare of protection towards me. Two years felt like a lifetime with him and now I was conditioned to live a life without him.

The indistinct chatter faded as JK began to materialize, I just wanted to see him once again. "do not drift off, child", her voice was always wise and beautiful. Her skin was young and radiant. The Maditau looked no older than twenty-five years old. "Y…", I lowed my head by habit. She cupped her hands around my face and kissed my temple. As much as I wanted to blast her or decapitate her and reduce her to the simplest life form, I couldn't. For one, I was no match, she could do all I thought of with just her thoughts. Second, I was conflicted. I wanted to hate her so bad but… I couldn't. I grew up in service to the Maditau and for an Adulterate I was privileged and favoured in her house. She was a godmother to me.

"so many thoughts, my child", she said, now cupping my hands. "I…", stupid of me, I didn't know how to verbalize my confliction. "my child, it was the only way", assured the Maditau. "This is the only way we win and save what is ours. Juda understood this", she wasn't trying to assure me this time but herself.

"I trust that all is well", interrupted General Nzinga. An like the rest, he was not intimidated by the Maditau. He looked concerned and untrusting towards the Maditau. " Yes,  why would you think otherwise, Son of Nzinga?", she asked, defensively. I just realized that I became a child under custardy tension between the two.  They didn't say anything else to each other but they were definitely arguing and just for effect, the weather became stormy, an ability that Heru came to master. "Hero, I'm fine. I swear", I lied. Heru knew I wasn't telling the truth but he was too fatherly towards me to insist. Rather, he shot another non-verbal message to the Maditau. His face turned to usual, cheerful and with a smile, he walked off.

"I…  have never seen that expression on her lordship", I couldn't find myself willing to say, my Mistress.  "perhaps my sun as the greatest is setting on the world. It seems that a new power is rising", she replied as she kept her eyes on Hero (yes I call my father figure, Hero. Don't judge) who was now in deep conversation with his fold. Well, his fold was basically anyone. He was so powerful, that type that made even the Maditau unsettled but that power was only expressed upon his adversaries. He was down to earth otherwise. Definitely my hero.

"My child, I must return and face my outcome. I assure you all is in place", she gave me another kiss on my temple, and faded into the wind. I did my best not to fit in. Even as Heru's ward, I didn't belong to these powerful lawmakers.

"Come on Makela, it is time", said Heru with a beatific smile. He placed an arm around my shoulders and led me back to the court. His arm around my shoulder was not uncomfortable, it was warm and protective. Why couldn't my biological father be like this towards me? Silly old man!

The courtroom was in nervous silence. This time I sat next to Heru, between him and Black Mamba. She smiled at me and then returned her focus to the centre of the courtroom. For a second, I was perplexed at how they were so powerful, and yet, so humble, unlike the ones I knew who weren't powerful at all, but full of racial bullshit (swear jar?). The nervous silence only worsened as the tension grew greatly.

Finally, the judges returned to their throne-like seats that held no real power but a diplomatic necessity all in favour of equality. "We, the Order of Musa have pardoned her Lordship under the code CoVD16 and hereby set her free of all charges under the code CoVD2019",  the courtroom was now in distinct cacophony,  and not due to code CoVD16 that dropped all the charges, but, because of code CoVD2019. I leaned closer to Heru, " Hero, what does that mean?", I asked. He looked unsettled, "it means her powers are being shackled for the next century", he replied after a moment of uneasiness... "BUT whose that powerful to shackle the Maditau?", I thought out loud. The Black Mamba leaned towards me, "My dear. She, under and an Adamantine Oath will shackle herself and will be free of the oath after a hundred years.