Chapter 5

Here we were in a plane, 5 days later, headed to Alaska. The funeral was... Well it was like a funeral was suppose to be and I don't know how I kept it together but I managed. Obviously a few tears got out and maybe a few sobs but that was nothing compared to mom whom almost had a panic attack and now to say I'm worried is an understatement, she tries to stay happy most of the time for us, and tries to make it normal again but it can never be normal and the fact that she knows this yet refuses to acknowledge it, is worrying and makes me feel sympathetic and I know it breaks her not only because I hear it at night but also because she never went back to work after that and, when she thinks we're not watching, starts talking about dad like he is still here. Damien is just as bad. He put up a wall to block out everyone and never let's it slip once. I think he's trying to be the new man in the house and that is equally as worrying cause now he feels like he has to try and make it seem like dad never left just as much as mom. I don't know how I'm coping. I mainly keep busy to keep myself from falling into the pit of depression that's reaching out to me every night when I have nobody to keep me company but my thoughts and there's this nagging guilt that just won't let go as I keep on listening to that voice in my head. I keep getting these dreams about the same guy and every time it gets worse? Better? It depends on how you look at it. We have conversations now and he just keeps on talking about how I'm the key to everything and he can't wait to see me and how everything will fall into place once I'm by his side. Its flattering to say the least but I can't help but wonder what he means by all these things. To say my friends were upset was an understatement, they did the whole throwing a going away party and getting cards signed for me and the goodbyes, oh Lord, the goodbyes, I felt like I was in a cheesy soap with all the crying and hugging and promises and the jokes and all that. Damien teased us but I saw tears in his eyes. I don't know why he's coming, I mean mom gave him an option and he chose to come so why do it if it hurts so much and when I asked him she just said that he needed to be where I am which is flattering and all but I don't wanna hold him back and when I voiced this thought he looked at me with an odd expression and but it went away quickly and he just said I'm not and walked away. I know, weird right, he has never walked away from me before and I was stunned for a moment then mom called and said our flight was departing so here I am sitting next to Damien looking out the window with my father's gift in my hands. Where'd I get the gift? Well ... I got it two days ago but was to chicken to open it yet and but I feel obligated to do it before we got to Haines, yeah I finally got the name and its also like super cold there at this moment in time and oh every day after that for the next 2 years at least, wait what were we talking about... Oh yes my present I feel obligated cause... well... My dads sister, Elena lives there with her 2 sons Roland and Renaldo and one of them is Damien's age and the other a year younger which makes him a year older than me, like I'm not joking, I have 3 older brothers according to my mom and they will 'protect me no matter what' and to this Damien gave a stiff nod for some reason he was cut off from me, which hurts, ever since he had a talk with mom 2 days ago when I got my present and I'm starting to get worried. I take a deep breath and start opening the present and I can feel Damien watching me but I don't pay any attention to it. Inside of the wrapping paper was a velvet colored box and I knew it was a jewelry piece I grow curious and slowly open the box and start crying. In the box was a neckless but it had a rose in the middle of a blue saffire and inside the bud of the white rose was another piece of saffire and I love it. It obviously took long for him to get this gift ready for me and he put a lot of thought into it. I miss him so much. As I pick up the neckless I completely breakdown, all the effort it took and a neckless brought down all my walls, but not just any neckless but one from Arthur Xavier Steele, my late father. Damien comforts me, hugging me and whispering sweet little nothings in my hear and I fall asleep there, dreaming of my dad's death and my subconscious mind came up with a reasoning that it wasn't an accident but that couldn't be true could it?

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Sorry that this chapter was so short. I have a big surprise for you guys in the next few chapters and remember that nothing is as it seems