Chapter 4

2025.05.13

I closed the door behind me. The sun was already setting. I sat on the couch facing the window. I was replaying the conversation between the staff members. Perhaps I should have not got married to Dongmin. I am ruining his image. And his family's. I should have not come to Korea. I should have stayed at my country. I became a burden to him. He doesn't deserve me. My face is frozen. Tears started building up. It was becoming hard to breathe. I am crying. I am crying ugly. The door opened. Dongmin stood there. I tried to hide my face. He knew I was crying. He came rushing towards me and held me in front of him. "Baby, look at me. Look at me." I didn't want to. I didn't want to show my tears. I want him to not to worry. But I listened to him and looked at him. I longed to see his face. "I don't regret marrying you. You are the best thing I ever had and want to have forever. Don't listen to anyone. I chose you and you also chose me. My family loves you and we don't regret having you in my family. We all make mistakes and we all are messed up. And you are the one I am able to stay myself. You loved me for me not for my looks. If you want to run away, let's go." He kissed me on the forehead and held me close to his heart. I could hear his hear his heart beating fast. His manager had told him the staffs' conversation, I could tell from his wet t-shirt, he had ran all the way to me. I felt safe. I felt loved after a longtime.

2015.03.14

The Sports-meet was finished last week. Our house came in first this year too. Lily was not in good terms with me. I had blazed the fire within her. It is not going to exhaust any time soon. We are free because the teachers' are having a meeting in the auditorium. We went to the cafeteria in secret with the help of some of our friendly senior prefects. We ate snacks and we still had not eaten our breakfast. Kate opened of the lunch boxes. It had noodles in it. I love noodles. No, we love noodles. He started slurping disgustingly. She was spilling everywhere. I am sorry I have seen her eat every time but this time I got disgusted. She held the lunch box to me. I put down my fork, "I am not hungry Kate." I wasn't able to eat noodles or almost 3 years. I stopped eating and when I see someone eating noodles I felt like to throw-up. Now I am okay, I am in love with noodles.

I came home. My mom called me to eat lunch. I sat across Engel and started eating. I was hungry. "Anna baby, was there a fight in the school?" I didn't tell mom about the Lily incident. "What fight?" "With Lily." "Yes, there was. How did you know?" "I told you not to meddle with her." "I am sorry. I was out of mind and I did just because of my house (also because of my friends persuading, I can't tell her that. I will be in trouble.) "Principal Madam called." Dang! Shit! I am in serious trouble. "It wasn't something that serious mom. This is not right. I was just defending my house." "I know, the sports teacher told me. Her mom has gone to the principal and complained that you had slapped her." I chocked on my food. "That is abso-bloody-lutly a lie." "The principal had scolded her and sent off and called me saying the incident. She believes you." That was a relief that they believed even though they didn't see and never questioned me. I was in the school for almost two years and many teachers knows me well to the core specially my present class teacher; Beth.

2015.05.18

Today was day 1 of second semester. I didn't do well this exam. I came in 13th. Lily and Masha was in higher positions than me, 9th and 10th position respectively. I got a good scolding from mom and dad was not that mad. He just kept saying do better next time. As usual many students don't come on the first day of school. And I always went even the next day after a terrorist attack in my country, this is me. Who loved to go to school despite what situation is and my parents sent me off too. I and another 4 classmates were present. I and Amy were the only the ones in our class. We all got together and started playing, eating and gossiping the whole time because the teachers didn't teach us because it was day 1 after the first semester.

A teacher came in. "Kids, are you all busy? Can you help me with something?" And we were bored to death. So we said no and followed her. We came to the home science room. "The refrigerator had some sort of leak and the taps too." she said. The room had 1 inch tall water layer. "We have only these small pieces of cloth and a mop." "Ma'am the mop won't help us, the cloths will. We can absorb and squeeze tem out. Do you got any sponges madam?" I asked her and explained in ly logical way of the situation. "Yes, here you go." The water was filthy. Two of my classmates were asked to help with another chore. The three of us folded our pants and sleeves and above all I didn't have gloves. Amy and my other classmate had them on. I grabbed the sponge and started soaking the sponge and squeezing it out. The teacher saw my bare hands and panicked. "Kid, the water is dirty and you are with bare hands." "Oh no worries madam, it just the dirt of the floor (Nope I wasn't sure), I am fine. I can wash my hands later." We kept cleaning and my classmate went to get a cloth and she never returned. My other two classmates had finished with their chore and had left to the class. Me and my friend got rid of the water and mopped clean, the whole place. "Thank you so much. You all stayed till the very end. It means a lot." We welcomed and also we got to know that they had many other kids and they had disappeared while searching for cloth pieces. I washed my hands thoroughly and went home.

2015.05.19

Only two of my classmates were absent today. We were chatting about our weekends. Mrs. Beth came in. She was a mad. She called the class president, She hasn't done any of the duties she had been assigned. "How many times have you been not doing the job?" Madam was really fed up and tired of telling the same thing over and over again. "And who were the kids who cleaned the home science room?" Her tone remained the same. We five stood up nervously. "Thank you! I want you all to learn from these girls. The teachers were very happy and so grateful that they told the whole school about you all." First we were relieved and secondly we were proud and we were definitely flexing. "Anna, can you take the class president?" "Sure, madam." "You cannot repeat what Fanny was doing." I nodded in return. After Mrs. Beth left, Lily spoke of disapproval. "She can't change the class president as she wish. Fanny was trying her best. How can she be so ungrateful." yes, my ass. I ignored and pretended not to hear and was busy doing literature homework. Lily was mad and was frowning the whole day whereas Fanny didn't mind at all.

2015.05.20

It was Saturday. I got ready to attend the math class. Little bro was wailing in the morning asking for yogurt. I opened the refrigerator and took out one and started feeding him. I was going to be late for class, but I had to take care of him because mom wasn't doing well. She has been in the bed for a while. I made breakfast, cleaned the house, changed my brother's diaper and woke up Engel. "Won't you be late for class at this rate?" She asked me with a sleepy face taking the yogurt from my hands and started feeding him again. "I know, I will be a half-hour late. But it is okay I can catch up with it." "Do you think we should tell dad? I don't trust mom. She is lying about her condition." "We will talk to mom again I the lunch time. I have to go. Take care." "You too." I ran to the class. I was only 15 mins late. I sat for a minute or two catching my breath. I stood signed my card and excused sir and went in. "Anna." Sir memorized my name by now. He never lets me breathe sometimes. I raised my head and looked at him. "Tell me what are sets and their categories." Seriously I just came in and he is already burning me alive. "Wait a sec sir." I scanned my memory and said "Sets are collection of objects..? Types of sets are null set, equal set, subset, universal set and et cetera..." "Correct! Did you understand? Let us right down." That boy, one of the school teacher's son gazed at me. He was sitting a bit far away from me. Sir went out for a while. He (name is Samuel. Just an inch or two taller than me. A little lighter tan than me. Is he handsome? No, he is fine.) Stood up and picked his things up and put it into his bag and came in front me and sat in front, chasing the boy in front of me. The table I sit is in a horizontal way while the boys' ones are in a vertical way. So you can just turn your head to left and see the girls. The boys were hinting and laughing. "Why did you change the seats now?" Some of the boys turned and looked straight at me. This is awkward. I am not sure if it is me or someone else. Kate said me that he is flirting with another girl, and they were lovers for a month or so. (I was dumb I was believing it at that time. Well I didn't know Kate lies to me.) I just minded my own shit and was busy with equations.

2015.05.21

I am fed up with his gazes. Like seriously. He is watching like a hawk almost the whole 2 hour that we have class. My classmate keeps making fun of it and I nudged her to stop. She never told anyone about this boy to the class at all. It was a secret between just both of us. She is dope, isn't she? Sir watched the scene and smacked him with a book. I smiled and he turned. He saw me smiling and he smiled back even more. He was in deed insane. No doubt.

Dad came yesterday night since we called him about mom. Mom is having pain in her backbone. She went to check her and was told not to carry anything heavy. And gave her medicine. She was doing well. We made sure she doesn't carry anything heavy and if she was, we went to help her with it. Moms never listen sometimes, they deserve a rest once in a while.