Cbapter 59

2022.01.19

"What is there to talk about?" The guy asked my sister. It was an indirect no. He was not interested at all. My sister knew she will get rejected. Just because. Just because she was not fair toned. I was upstairs hiding in my room. I did not come. My parents did not want me to come down. It is reasonable and unreasonable at the same time. They did not want to show me because they were afraid that they will ask me in marriage. And it broke my sister but she did not show it out. This was the twenty second guy she dressed up for. She was tired and hurt. So were my parents. They came ate well and left saying no even though they knew before they came that my sister was not fair. Most of the time the family was happy with the bride but the groom wanted more even though he was not fit for. The media and colonization played a role in the guy's brains. On the bright side we can get a guy who accepts us as us or not?

I watched my sister removing her makeup in frustration. She was going through a lot. It was true that I do not understand her feelings at all. We did all we can to make her skin fairer even chemical peeling but it did not show any answer. The only thing remained was the injection to become fair and it costs a lot. My parents asked if she wanted to try it. She said no. She lost faith in almost everything. She did not have hope to even live anymore. We did know why my sister's skin was immune to all the fairing products. Then again my sister was slightly lazy and sometimes skips applying them. In the end we used the creams to whiten our buttocks and they did not do the job right either. May be we were using fake products. I am telling you we were not fooled we used the same exact cream that one of my cousin sister used to fair herself. May be the cousin sister fooled us?

2022.02.12

"Anna pack your things today night. Check again if you have taken all the documents." My mother was ordering me for the fifth time. "I have mother. My mother I have. Please rest or you can check it yourself." "You are an adult. Why should I check? You should learn to take responsibility." And she grabbed my bag and was going through it. I smiled watching at her. Engel slowly came from the washroom and entered the room and went to sleep. It was odd. I waited till mother goes out of the room to the kitchen to lay plates for dinner.

"What is it Engel?" I tried pulling up the blanket to see if she was really sleeping. She held the blanket tight and not letting me take a glimpse of her. "Nothing" she said after a minute. Her voice was not stable. I knelt next to the bed. "You cut your arm?" I asked her bluntly. I saw a blade in her and when she came out of the washroom. She did not answer me. "I know it is hard for you. Hang in there you will be alright. It is easy to say but hard to wait. I promise you I will stay beside you." She finally spoke, "You are prettier than me. And you have a slight fairer skin than me too. It will not be hard for you to find a husband." It was true and I could not fabricate it. I did not answer for a minute. "Perhaps Lord is planning something nice for you. Andrew brother married his wife mainly because she was fair and petite. But now do you think they are happy with each other. Could be but we are sure that she treats her in-laws not in a nice way. Some people just learn it the hard way. And for heaven sake you are not ugly. You are pretty. I mean it. There are times I feel insecure because of you. Like on the get together day and specially on your periods. The guys who came they are not worth. Hope you understand and stop hurting yourself in sake of others." She finally opened the blanket. She was crying ugly. "You think?" I nodded and said, "You are crying very ugly. Coming for dinner?" No seriously she looks ugly when she cries. She said okay for dinner and we went downstairs to eat.

2022.01.13

We went to the University. This University was one of the world recognized Universities and I really love to be in one of these Universities. You know you get that weird feeling when you enter your own country's most decorated University. "Anna Maria Robert Minier?" I stood up. "You are up next." I followed the lady who was one of the lecturer in the University. When we came up to the door, she then directed her hand towards the door. I smiled at her dearly and said 'Thank you'. Her dull face showed a smile. I held my breath and went in.

The interview was over. I think I did well. The interviewers were happy with me and felt ease with me. They have to be because I watched endless Utube videos on how to nail the interviews. I also bought some more qualifications with me to show too. And the most plus pint was that I was quite fluent in English. Many over here were not and when you can talk in three languages with no any hardships it is a winning ticket.

2022.02.04

I got a message that I was accepted in to the University. I was going major in Radiography. It is not bad and I am going to get called as Dr. Anna. Or maybe I can come up with a nickname. Can we? Why not? I am going to ask the lecturers and around.

2022.03.09

The Universities are opening. I was thrilled. Today is my first day. I packed my bag with notebooks, fancy stationaries, audio recorder and of course sanitizer. We are still wearing masks for more protection although we are already vaccinated. And then again some did not wear sometimes.

My parents dropped me off in the University and I checked myself in to the lecture hall. There were equal number of girls and boys. I sat in the front row where all avoided. I can concentrate and I was not ready to make any friends. The professor came in. He greeted everyone. The vibe was very different from the school. We do not stand to greet over here. I felt odd about it. I think it would take some time to adjust myself to it. The University was pin silent. I can only hear professor talking and someone trying to open their lunchbox.

Sir started to call out names and the when the names called out they raised their hand in response. I was waiting keenly for my name to be called. He shut the register. I was confused. I felt everyone looking at me. I was looking at sir to get his attention. I started to feel small. Was I in the wrong room? No. It was the Radiography class. Is it the senior class? No. He was now giving lecture on the start of the university life. May be he forgot to call out my name. With a lot of courage I rose my hand to get attention of sir only but instead I took the attention of everyone.

"Yes?" "Sir, my name was not called out. Can I know why?" I spoke in a British accent and the guy behind me wooed at it. I dared not to turn my head. Sir took the register and came towards me and asked for my name. "Anna Maria Robert Minier, sir" He flipped the pages and went through the fifty students and did not find my name but someone else's named, 'Felix' "Dear, are you sure you are in this department. You did not make any mistake?" A guy off the back spoke, "If you are not in the department leave! Do not pretend to be in Radiography!" My back stated sweating. I ruffled through my bag and took the letter out and handed it over to sir to check it out. He read the letter and became confused. I heard someone talk, "May be she paid someone for his seat." Sir heard. "Silence! You are now adults. Behave." Before he could finish his phone rang. "Excuse me" he said and answered the phone. He went out of the hall. I was pleading for him not to leave in silence. When he was out of sight. They started to act like bunch of spoilt kids. How did they even get here? "Hey you! Can I get your number?" I sat down and clenched on the letter. I wanted to beat him up. And for my surprise even the girls joined in the dissing. They commented on my dressing and hair.

Suddenly the class went silent. It was one of the interviewers that day. He was cold and strict. And he was the head. I watched him and gulped. Did I do something wrong? I should have kept my mouth shut and ask professor after the class. The head spoke after staring at the whole class. "Anna Maria Robert Minier?" I am starting to hate my name now. Dang it!