Alice and Me

"It must have been tough to live like that," Alice remarked.

She gazed into my eye, but I withheld to stare into hers. I did not want to become an embarrassment to Alice, who saved me from this world. All I wished for this event was to remain that innocent look of Alice towards me. If I showed my vulnerable side, I thought Alice would become one of them. Those people mocked me and my life.

I hated them all. The thought made me want to die alone in that world. It was my defence mechanism that kicked in my head, forcing me to listen to the living nightmares called life. If I disappeared like a bubble, maybe my problems would vanish too.

But today was different. I was wrong.

My lips stretched out a grin, knowing that this time was bizarre.

There were no insulting descriptions of me as a weak man. Alice mentioned nothing about me being dramatic in my life. From all the people I shared my story with from my previous life, Alice was the only one who remained quiet and continued listening to my experiences.

I wanted to live for the first time.

"You're not mad, are you?" I had to be sure, so I asked. "I hope you're not."

She giggled. But the laugh was not ridiculing me. It was a burst of genuine laughter or an innocent reaction to the virgin eyes of the princess. Alice shook her head and remained that sweet smile decorated on her face. "Why would I? I think you did well! You have a part-time job and live independently! Who cares about those people who couldn't care less about you?"

"I was a princess for sixteen years, but I did not do my maids' work on the chores. I did them too! I can hunt animals on my own and even cook! Although the pressure of leading the kingdom was there to haunt me whenever I go, I still embraced my fate, not until now," Alice continued.

She could go on forever, but Alice stopped herself before taking the long route. A road that we both knew would never cease to stop. Alice reconsidered talking about everything from her past life to me, but I insisted. I told her I yearned to tune in to everything that had happened to her.

Alice's life was more interesting than mine, after all. But I did not want to disregard mine. it was just that; Alice had funnier stories to share than mine.

The gothic girl told me that the Kingdom of Wonderland had mages and could wield the same powers as her. But their bloodlines had more mana than everyone else, so the people hailed their ancestors as their leaders. Those civilians needed someone powerful and wise to rule the empire. They were fortunate enough that Alice's father led the kingdom.

The empire did not experience any poverty and discrimination. All the troublesome things that Alice had encountered include some thieves that stirred chaos. The officials took them out of the city and managed the streets. According to Alice, everyone was at peace, not until the neighbouring kingdom offered her father a trade.

It was the Detroit Kingdom that started a treaty with Wonderland.

"Detroit doesn't know any magic. What Detroit has is modern technology that none of us was familiar with. Those representatives brought us gadgets and electricity that we did not have," Alice explained, while waving her hands to form a shape out of her motions. "Detroit has telephones! A communication device that allows people to talk from miles away! Can't you believe it!"

I gave her a nod and listened. I couldn't hide my grin as I nodded to everything Alice had to say.

But the contract was more indifferent than the Wonderland royalties had expected. It had unfair shares of taxes and circulation of export and import products. The trade was not on equal footing. It did not have the fifty-fifty ratio, but thirty-seventy, with the most percentage going to Detroit and the least dividend going to Wonderland.

"If we wanted those technologies, Wonderland had to forfeit a portion of our rich land to Detroit. But that plot was the only place that my father has. My father, the king, had no choice but to decline the offer. But the representative threatened our kingdom. The man told us if we wished to stay independent, our state would face their wrath."

After telling her tale, Alice stopped filling the incomplete sentence. A subtle tear fell on her cheeks. I raised my head and reached out for her face, wiping the salty water from her eyelids. Alice looked up at me and smiled. It wasn't the cheeriest gleam I had ever seen, but a sincere beam.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry for showing you this weak side of mine. My mother always told me that a princess should never cry. 'What if your people see you as fragile as a glass? Incapable of leading them to a better life?'" Alice expressed, and wiped her tears.

"It's okay to be a weak person. Nobody would blame you for that. I think you are a great princess, Alice." I retorted, and flashed her a smile.

"How did you know? I was the only one alive. My parents helped me escape that kingdom and saved myself. Sometimes, I can see the image of Wonderland and its people in my dreams. Those people are hunting me, Mask. I hate myself for it. What kind of princess am I, abandoning my people?"

The giddy Alice changed into something of a disheartened human being. 'All her life, she must have been thinking about those events. One of those memories that she had was that kingdom's befall. If I could place myself in her shoes, I would have felt the same way,' I thought to myself.

"You're strong, Alice. A princess must be a powerful person, and a weak human being at the same time," I appended.

The lost girl gazed into my eyes once again. Alice changed her expression and regained her confidence while opening her mouth.

"Thank you. I will try to be that princess you've described."

"That's good enough for me," I responded. "Let's continue this story-telling on the bed. I think you want to get some beauty sleep, since your eyes are already staring at the ground."

Alice jerked her body and reacted. "Hey! I am not sleepy! I'm just tired!"

She stood up from her ground and walked towards the bed. Despite her objection to my statement, Alice wished for that sleep she never had for a couple of hours. We fought a monstrous bat earlier, so Alice should not have the spare energy she needs to continue working on those dolls for the rest of the day.

Alice unrolled her blanket and covered her body. She gave the cover a quick snuggle and kicked me on the knees. Her hit was not painful, but I reacted to Alice's gestures, anyway.

"Ouch! What was that for?" I asked in a silly tone.

"Nothing," Alice hastily replied.

However, her words did not hold true. The quiet Alice wiggled her bed, showing her childish side to me. She was like a six-year-old girl begging for me to tell a story. I knew that was what Alice had wanted, given that she reminded me earlier, before I suggested we go to bed.

"But I already told you about my life, remember?" I said, still with a smile on my face.

"Then what should we talk about? I'm not sleepy yet!" Alice answered, but gave out a blaring yawn. "You can ask me anything. I'll answer them if I can."

I produced a humming sound and thought of something inside my head. I always wanted to know the geography of this world, so I asked Alice just that.

"Where are we right now, and how can we escape this place?"

"You mean this forest, the den of bats?" Alice asked.

I gave her a nod and confirmed my question. Alice was hesitant to provide a detailed answer, but the sleepy girl gave it away eventually to me.

"Like I've said before. We are in the middle of the forest. I was lost and had nowhere else to go. The place that I know is one kilometre around this cave. Everything beyond that is an uncharted place for me." Alice explained.

"Have you ever tried exploring beyond that area? You know, instead of huddling around here in the cave," I added. "More mysteries and adventure are waiting for you outside. A way that you regain your title as a princess and earn back the kingdom you've lost. Are they the only people that trusted you, or are there neighbouring kingdoms that are still awaiting your return?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Mask. I just want to sleep."

"But you need to pick yourself up and stand on that throne again for your people. Those civilians are still waiting for you."

Even without Alice telling me, I knew that Wonderland wasn't a gigantic city alone. There were many towns that Wonderland had governed. Alice never mentioned those to me, but I knew there was something more than just a citadel.

It was like what Alice had said. She did not want to talk to me. A whispering snore reverberated in the room. Alice's exhaustion took her from this realm and dragged her soul into the dream world.