Red Roses

I woke up in the morning to the sound of the phone. It was an unknown number calling.

I had a headache. It was because I was on the phone with Peri all night long. She needed to calm down, and when I realized she couldn't do it alone, I tried to help her. I wanted to be with her, but I couldn't go out at night.

I opened it on the third try.

- Hello?

- Hello there.

I jumped off the bed and stood up. I started to tour the room.

-Rüzgar ?!

- How are you doing?

- Ah..I...I'm fine. What...What about you?

I couldn't speak with excitement. Hearing his voice blew my mind.

- I'm fine. Were you sleeping?

Yes, but I had to get up anyway.

- All right. Well, I... It's been a long time since we've talking each other.

-Yes.

- I'm so used to having you by my side. Your absence is noticed, my friend!

Friend! As usual, he had spoiled the conversation. Something inside me consoled me that at least he didn't call me sister.

But still... The truth was that I expected too much from this man. However, I knew him very well. He was a person who hadn't noticed me all this time, after all.

- I missed you too.

He said:

- I just wanted to call and say 'Hi'. And this is my new phone number. I lost my phone.

- I'm sorry.

- I won't keep you. We talk when you're available.

I'm always available for you, idiot!

-See you.

- Take care of yourself.

And we hang up.

It had been a long time since I had seen him and we were far from each other. But even so, his speech made me feel like I was just next to him. As if I could touch him if I reached out.

And that voice… Even from miles away it still impresses me. Impress is a word; My heart felt like I was running a marathon.

If I was with him right now, I could smell that chocolate smell wafting from his body.

Enough Deniz! You're doing nothing but torturing yourself! Hearing his voice should have made me feel good, right?

So what was this pain that I felt in my heart then?

I should have shared it with someone. I should have told someone.

I called Yaprak. I've done this many times in the past week. I had overpowered her by repeatedly calling her and asking questions about Rüzgar.

I knew it from her voice when she picked up the phone.

And I couldn't hold back anymore. I released my tears.

- I can not breathe...

Yaprak was worried.

- Deniz?! What's going on?

- I can't take it anymore. I miss him so much...

- OK. My dear. Calm down. Come on, please.

I understood from the cracking of her voice, she was crying too. It was Yaprak. She cared about other people's problems as if they were her own.

- I need you so much!

- I know sweety. I will be there as soon as possible.

My door was slammed.

- My angel?

- Yaprak, it's my dad.

- Okay dear. We talk later. Please...

- Okay okay. I stopped crying.

I turned off the phone then opened the door.

- Yeah?

- Today I was… Did you cry?!

- What cry, dad? I just got up and couldn't sleep at night, that's why.

He hugged and kissed my hair.

- Deniz. Are you okay? Don't hide anything from me.

- I'm fine.

- Deniz. I understand that this is a lie. I'm your father and I can tell when you're lying. I raised you. You can tell me.

I hesitated.

- I'm fine. Really.

I smiled.

- Don't make fake smiles Deniz.

We sat on the burgundy armchair, which is my favorite piece in my room.

He turned my face towards him.

- Is it about Rüzgar?

What how? Did he know?

- I know.

- How?

I think everybody knows except him.

- So why...

- Why didn't I talk to you about this?

I nodded.

- I waited until you shared it with me, but you didn't. I said maybe she doesn't want me to know? Something didn't fit? Maybe you're saying you have a very cruel father right now. But I want you to know that the reason I wanted so badly to move here was to help you forget about him. Because... I don't want to put it into words, but I think you know it too. My dear Deniz... I observed him a lot...And I saw that he saw you like...

- He doesn't like me.

My eyes were filled with tears.

He hugged me tightly.

- All this will pass. Just try to forget him. I know, it's not easy. I understand you very well. But believe me, you will be happier if you forget him.

My father was always a logical person. Every word he spoke today was a product of logic, and he was right in every one of them. The only and most important thing I had to do was forget him. There was no point in holding on any longer to someone who didn't love me and didn't want me.

Ten minutes later we were having breakfast, just my father and me. That woman was in the hospital.

- What would you like to do today?

- I don't know, Dad.

- Then how about a movie?

- What about school?

- You can choose not to go today.

I was surprised. My phone rang. It was Yıldız. I couldn't remember when I got her number. But yesterday I was a little tired. I should have taken a break. The important thing right now was why was she calling me?

I got up from the table and went into the living room.

-Hello?

- Deniz?

- Yeah?

- Have you seen Arslan? He didn't come back after he went out to drop you off.

- No. I saw him last night. He left me and left.

-I'm very curious. I can't reach his phone. Can I ask you a favor?

- Yes of course.

-He always has a bar where he hangs out. Can you look over there for me? I can't go out right now because of the baby.

- I understand. I'll look and call you. What's wrong with the baby?

- He has a fever since last night. I'm trying to lower it.

- You should go to the hospital.

- Yes, but... I need him for that too.

- In what sense?

A baby's voice was heard from behind.

- Honey, I can't talk anymore. Please, if you find him, tell him to call me and come home right away.

- All right.

He had an hour and a half to go to school and he still wasn't there? This was weird. He never missed school.

I was worried.

- Dad?

- My angel?

- Can I ask you something?

- Of course.

Ten minutes later my father called me.

- Are you there yet?

He said:

- Yes. I guess. It was the house with a pomegranate tree in its garden, wasn't it?

- Yeah yeah. There is.

- All right.

- Her name is Yıldız, dad. Don't forget.

- All right. I have to go.

While my father was taking them to the hospital, I came to look for Arslan at the bar that Yıldız said. I hung up the phone and headed for the door. The security at the gate stopped me.

- ID?

- Look, I'm just going to take care of someone.

-I don't care. Show your ID.

- Please. This is important.

I extended the ID.

- You can't go in.

- Please?

- No.

-Then would you look inside for me?

- Tell me who you're looking for?

-Arslan...

He interrupted me.

- Finally. We were wondering when you'd get him.

- What does that mean now?

- It means he drank and leaked.

- Did he drink a lot?

-He is here for hours. Think about the rest. Wait here. I'll get him and come.

Five minutes later, security came in with Arslan's arm. Arslan could not stand.

I thought about calling my father, but I didn't know how he would react. But we needed a car. I immediately called a taxi. When it arrived, security put him in the car. I sat next to him. I rested his head on my shoulder. When we got to my house, I took him down with the help of the taxi driver. The taxi driver even helped him get into the house. He laid him on the big sofa in the living room. After he left, I made a coffee immediately. I brought my soft pillow from my room. Because those hard sofa pillows were very uncomfortable. I lifted his head and placed the pillow. And this is the first time I've seen his face up close. His skin was smooth. It had a color close to white. His black hair was not like dye. His hair smelled of apples. It wasn't the first time his eyebrows were furrowed. His face looked peaceful. His lips were very pink, for a man. Of course, he didn't use lipstick though ;)

At that moment he opened his eyes. His chocolate brown eyes focused on mine. Then it closed again. He turned on his side, towards me. The right side of his face was buried in the pillow. While taking deep breaths, I took the coffee from the kitchen and came back.

I said his name a few times, he didn't wake up. I left the coffee on the table next to him. I approached him.

-Arslan?

No matter how much the fool drank, he could not sober up.

I raised my voice.

- Arslan?!

He just frowned.

I got pretty close.

- Arslan?

It didn't work. I grabbed his shoulder and shook it as hard as I could.

It wouldn't be like this. I went to the kitchen and took the bottle of cold water from the cupboard and came over to him. I opened the lid and drained the water. He woke up immediately.

- What is happening?!

He yelled so loudly that I jumped out of nowhere.

His jacket and t-shirt were soaked in the water, and of course that pretty face too.

-What are you doing?

- You didn't wake up?! What could I do?

He couldn't believe he was seeing me. He looked left and right, then his brown eyes turned to me.

- What's going on?

I handed the coffee to the table. He looked at me.

- Come on, drink this.

-I'm awake, okay?

His face was still sleepy, and his eyes were starting to squint, though.

I sat next to him and took his coffee cup and brought it to his lips. He didn't open his mouth. His face was full of surprise.

- Drink this.

His eyes were starting to close.

I grabbed his chin and opened his mouth. His eyes widened as he drank the hot coffee.

-I'm burned! So hot!

I was starting to get nervous. His sister needed him and he was acting like a child...

I left the cup.

I turned his face towards me. His sleepy face was more cute than normal.

- Arslan, your sister needs you.

- What?

He came to himself in an instant. He was worried.

- Is she okay?

- Yes. But we have to go now. Let's go.

- Then the wet t-shirt he was wearing caught my eye.

- Wait here a minute.

I went up. I couldn't find the opportunity to give the t-shirt I bought to Rüzgar. Now that I had decided to forget about him, it was time to get rid of it too.

I took the box and went downstairs. He was walking.

- Isn't she alright? Uğur, is he alright?

- Yeah. Let's get changed and let's go.

I handed the box to him. He looked like he was going to ask something, but he didn't.

He took off his jacket. And then the black t-shirt. At least one would turn his back or something?! He had changed even though I was there with him!

His body was muscular, as were his arms.

It was weird to see it in any color other than black. Green was fine.

I called a taxi. We got on immediately. He told me many times not to come, but I didn't listen to him.

He was very worried on the way to the hospital. I wondered what he was talking about on the phone with his sister. He looked very nervous after that phone call.

He was sitting next to me. I turned to him.

- Are you okay?

He vaguely shook his head.

- What happened?

- Uğur is in surgery.

- What?

Four Hours Later

I went out with coffee in my hand. I went and sat next to Arslan, who was sitting alone. I handed him the coffee.

- Thanks.

He took a sip. His eyes were looking into the distance.

- Nothing to worry about anymore.

- Yes.

His cold voice made me feel bad.

- Arslan?

-Hmm?

- What you got? Your nephew is in good health, and your sister is well. What worries you?

- Not at all.

It was like he was lying.

- Please tell me. If you can help...

- Cut it out! No one is asking for your help! Also, there is nothing that requires your help!

- But I...

- Don't pretend to be interested in me.

- What are you saying?

He turned to me.

- You're giving me a headache. Go!

- That's what you do every time I try to reach you! What's your problem Arslan? I know there's something you didn't say. Why?

I turned his face to me.

-Arslan, you don't have to go through this alone. Tell me. Let's find a solution.

His eyes were frightening.

- It is enough! Go!

His hands grabbed my hands and pulled them away from his face, a little harshly.

I cried out of nowhere.

He squeezed my hand so hard, idiot. I think he realized that too.

- See what you're up to! That's it from me!

I got up and started walking.

How stubborn was he? I was trying so hard for him, but he didn't even move a finger. Even though I ran to him - which not everyone would do for someone like him - he wouldn't even take a step towards me.

I couldn't push anymore. I never felt like giving up, but there was nothing I could do.

I have pride too, don't I? He fires me at every opportunity, treats me badly. And thanks to him, I got bruises. Yes, I had to give up now...

I turned around and saw him holding his head in his hands.

No Deniz! You will not go near him!

I forced myself into the hospital.

They were going to stay there for one night. We returned home with my father. It was past five o'clock. We had some dinner and sat in the living room.

-Dad?

- Yes, dear?

- What's the topic?

-I can't explain. I made a promise to that young man.

-Daddy, please?

- No. If he wants to tell, he will tell. Sorry, I won't tell you.

- All right.

I got angry. When we reached the hospital, my father and Arslan retreated to my father's room and talked. Despite my insistence, he still did not tell me, my dad. When that "witch" came home in the evening and saw us alone, she got angry. And immediately found a way to get him away from me.

Half an hour later I said goodbye to them.

- Don't wait for us, Deniz. We do not know when we will arrive.

- All right, Derya.

I said implicitly.

She didn't mind. She took my father's arm and dragged him to the car.

They were going to visit their friends... or something. We both knew why she did it. That witch was jealous of my father. She didn't want to see us together. Of course, she was afraid that I would tell him what she had done.

But this matter was closed for me. Whatever the case, I had no intention of telling my father anything. But that witch didn't need to know that, or she would have acted worse than now.

I called Peri. Her mother got on the phone and said she was sick and asleep.

I felt very sorry for the girl. I understood her very well. I remember well that red-haired girl that Rüzgar introduced me to and asked my opinion. I thought knives were stuck in my stomach. I couldn't get over it for days.

It was dark when Umut called me. I did not answer the phone. I was not in the mood to deal with him. He wasn't guilty of anything, but he still chose the wrong time to speak.

After watching a movie, I decided to sleep. The door clicked. Fathers could not. They had the key. I slowly approached the door.

- Who is it?

There was no sound. I opened the door, nervously.

He was standing in front of me, with red roses in his hand. I swallowed. I could not talk. I was in shock.