Chapter 4: Confessions and Resolve

Opening my eyes, it took me a second to realize where I was. I sat up from my bed and put my hand on my head. It was throbbing and I wondered why until I remembered that I had been crying. Recalling what happened, I started to feel guilty for how I acted. I was being selfish thinking that San was going to confess to me. He probably felt uncomfortable with how I was acting and I only made it worse by running off crying. I put my face in my hands and groaned.

"I'm such a dumb and horrible friend."

I grabbed my phone and checked the time. It was only the afternoon so I knew I didn't fall asleep long. I stretched my arms and back before getting up from my bed. I briefly freshened myself up and washed away the dried tears. I grabbed my phone and opened the door, surprised to see Yunho standing there mid-knock.

Yunho: Oh, hey (Y/N).

I invited him inside and he sat down at my desk chair. It was quiet for a moment before I spoke.

(Y/N): So, what brings you here?

Yunho: Wanted to check up on you is all.

(Y/N): I know but why? How did you know there was something wrong?

Yunho let out a huffed laugh.

Yunho: Kind of a guess to be honest. I was hanging out with Jongho and San earlier but they weren't themselves; they both had a gloomy cloud over them. I wasn't sure about Jongho but he shared the same look San had, and I know he only has that look when you two had a fight.

I smiled sadly.

(Y/N): Quite the detective, aren't you?

Yunho: I guess. So, what happened between you three?

I paused for a moment before I confessed.

(Y/N): Before San and I got to the hideout, he asked me a random question that made me worried. It wasn't anything serious; it was just how he acted. He dodged answering it by taking me to the hideout but after you left, I brought it up again. He didn't want to answer and I felt hurt that he didn't want to share with me. After that, I bumped into Jongho who caught me crying so he's probably just worried about me.

It wasn't the full truth but it would give me a lie I can use when I apologize to San. Yunho nodded his head after he heard everything.

Yunho: I understand how you feel. You two are best friends and share a lot of things with each other. I don't blame you for getting hurt.

I smiled but couldn't help feeling bad that I lied to Yunho.

Yunho: Now that I know your side of the story, you should probably clear things up. If Jongho is anything like San, they're going to be bummed for quite a while until they learn the truth.

(Y/N): Alright. Do you know where they are right now?

Yunho: I think Jongho said he was going to Hongjoong's dorm room. I don't know about San though. He left wordlessly, most likely still thinking about you.

My heart skipped a beat at how he worded that but I knew he meant it differently. I thanked Yunho for coming and we left my room together. He split off early since he said Mingi was waiting for him to show the hideout. I said my goodbyes and continued on towards Hongjoong's dorm building.

Once I got there, I realized that I didn't know where exactly Hongjoong's room was. None of us had ever hung out in his room before. Noticing my dilemma, I stood awkwardly in the lobby and was about to text him until I heard a voice.

Hongjoong: (Y/N)?

I turned to Hongjoong's voice and saw him walking towards me. From the looks of it, he just entered the building. He wore a short-sleeved white shirt with a graphic on the front that I knew he customized himself. He also had a black beret and gold-framed glasses that I wasn't sure if it was just for style points or not.

He smiled.

Hongjoong: What are you doing here?

(Y/N): Oh, um... I was actually looking for Jongho. Yunho told me he was here.

Hongjoong: Ah, ok. Come with me then. If he's still here, I know exactly where he is.

My surprise wasn't hidden and Hongjoong chuckled at it. I followed him into the elevator which took us to the third floor. Once the door opened, he led me to a door labeled #308. He got out his dorm key and proceeded to open the door. As soon as I got inside, I was taken aback by how big it was compared to my room. The gears in my head started to turn as I could tell not all the possessions in here were owned by Hongjoong.

Hongjoong: Jongho! I'm back now.

After he said that, I could hear shuffling and footsteps coming from a hallway I couldn't yet see. Rounding the corner, there appeared Jongho in a plain grey t-shirt holding a drink.

Jongho: Hey Hongjoong. Thought you weren't supposed to be home until-

He cut himself off as he made eye contact with me. By the way he was staring, I could tell he really didn't believe that I was there. There was a moment of stunned silence until Hongjoong laughed.

Hongjoong: Alright. I'm gonna go put my stuff away. You two can stand there all day if you want.

With that, Hongjoong left towards his section, leaving me and Jongho in the entrance. There was a moment of awkward silence before Jongho shyly invited me in. He led me into the living room portion of the dorm room and left to put away his cup. I sat on the couch, slightly uncomfortable, and debated on what I should say to Jongho. He was probably still worried from when I left him earlier so I prepared myself for all the things he might be concerned over. However, when he came back, all of my careful planning went out the door. He was no longer wearing his grey t-shirt. Instead, he changed into a white shirt with a black denim jacket that had sleeves only reaching his elbows. He also had a watch on his left wrist. I couldn't help but stare at him, completely flustered by his wardrobe change.

(Y/N): Wow… Jongho, you look really handsome.

He chuckled shyly.

Jongho: Really?

(Y/N): Yeah. I mean, you've always looked handsome. It's just that, I wasn't expecting this.

He only laughed and sat on a chair that was opposite from me.

Jongho: So, what brings you here?

(Y/N): Well, Yunho told me that you were looking gloomy while hanging out with him. I wanted to see if you were ok.

Jongho: Yeah, I'm fine. Though, being honest, I should be checking up on you. How are you feeling?

(Y/N): I'm better now. I took a nap which helped me calm down.

Jongho: That's good… If you don't mind me asking, what happened to make you like that?

(Y/N): Ah, don't worry about it too much. It was just a misunderstanding with a friend I took too hard.

Jongho didn't look completely convinced but he didn't pry any further. He simply nodded and took a look at his watch.

(Y/N): Did you need to get somewhere?

Jongho: Kind of. I have to go meet up with some of my classmates for a group project.

(Y/N): Then I won't keep you for any longer.

Jongho: I can walk you out if you're leaving too.

(Y/N): Actually, I'm going to stay for a little longer. Wanted to speak with Hongjoong as well.

With that, I saw Jongho off. I watched as he put on his shoes and opened the door to leave. Before he left, though, he turned back around.

Jongho: (Y/N), thanks for clearing up all of that. I was really worried about you.

(Y/N): No problem. It's the least I can do for leaving you like that. Thank you for caring.

Jongho smiled and left the room. I heard the door lock and let out a breath. There was a small relief in knowing I cleared up the situation for one person. However, the more important one still needed to be found. I went towards the direction Hongjoong went and saw that a door was opened. I peeked inside and saw him at a desk doing something on his computer. I knocked on the door frame and walked into the room, sitting on the edge of his bed. He must have been very focused since it didn't seem like he heard me knock. I watched as he continued to work until he spun his chair around and jumped slightly when he saw me.

Hongjoong: (Y/N)! When did you get in here?

(Y/N): A few minutes ago actually. I knocked on the door but it didn't seem like you heard me.

Hongjoong: Oh, haha. Sorry about that. I was finishing up a paper. Anyway, what did you need?

(Y/N): Do you happen to know where San is right now?

Hongjoong: Hm, I'm not sure. If I'm remembering correctly, he shouldn't have any classes right now. I'd say check the dining hall since he likes hanging out there.

(Y/N): Alright, I'll go see if he's there. Thanks Hongjoong.

Hongjoong saw me out and I left towards the dining hall. It was a few minutes before I arrived but there were some groups of people scattered about. I did a quick scan but didn't really see anyone that looked like San. I started to walk around the dining hall to see if he might be somewhere else in here. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and accidentally bumped into someone. I apologized profusely and searched for a little longer until I came to the conclusion that he wasn't here. Sighing, I left the dining hall and checked my phone. I sent San a text a few minutes ago but he hasn't read it yet. This started to feel like a Where's Waldo game. Taking my defeat, I decided to just wait until he saw it and wandered around the campus. On my walk, my feet led me to a popular place where people liked to gather. From the distance, I saw a big crowd and heard the faint playing of music. Seeing how the crowd was cheering, I figured that a dance battle of some sort was happening. Not really having anything else to do, I went over.

The closer I got, the louder the cheers and music were. It confirmed what I thought and I decided to try and watch. However, since the crowd was quite big, I couldn't get a clear view of the dancers. I would see them sometimes through the small cracks but it wasn't enough to see them clearly. I struggled for a bit trying to find a good spot until I thought I saw someone who looked like San in the middle. It was brief but I was almost sure that it was him. I started to walk quickly on the outskirts to try and follow the person to see if it was him. Once again, I forgot to pay attention to my surroundings and bumped into a guy. He had a white shirt on with a tan, long-sleeved, plaid overshirt. He had light denim jeans that had various rips in them. He also had a short, silver necklace on. His hair was black and styled up making him look like those cool guys you were too intimidated to talk to.

(Y/N): Oh! I am so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going.

He let out a small laugh which made him look even more attractive.

???: It's alright. You didn't cause any trouble.

(Y/N): Again, I'm sorry. I'll pay attention next time.

It looked like he was about to say something but the crowds cheering cut him off. We both turned to see what caused the commotion which was surprisingly clear since there weren't that many people blocking us. That's when I saw him. San was in the middle doing a krump-styled dance that was wowing everyone, even the other dancers looked impressed. I couldn't stop myself from smiling as I watched him become so immersed into the music. I don't see San dance a lot but when I do, it's so mesmerizing. Being entranced, I continued to watch him dance until he finally finished his turn, ending it with cheers and applause. He went off to the side and another dancer went up to do their thing.

???: I'm guessing he's your friend?

Forgetting that the guy was there, I turned to him.

(Y/N): Yeah, he is. We're best friends actually.

???: That would make sense for a pretty girl like you.

Surprised by the sudden compliment, I let out a shy laugh.

(Y/N): If you say so. Oh, by the way, I didn't ask for your name. Mines (Y/N).

Seonghwa: I'm Seonghwa. Nice to meet you (Y/N).

(Y/N): Nice to meet you too!

By that time, the dance circle had finished up and people were slowly leaving. I saw San hanging out with some of the other dancers with sweat dripping down his face. His smile reached his eyes and it made me relieved that he was feeling better.

Seonghwa: Well, I won't keep you any longer (Y/N). Have a nice day.

I said my goodbyes to Seonghwa and watched for a little bit as he left the area. After that, I put myself slightly closer to San, waiting for him to finish talking to the dancers. Once he was done, he started to put away some stuff into his bag. That was when I went up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He got up and surprise was written all over his face when he saw me.

San: (Y/N)! Were you here this entire time?

(Y/N): I was only here for the ending but San, you did amazing! You're such a great dancer.

He smiled shyly, revealing his dimples.

San: I'm not that good but thank you anyway. It means a lot coming from you.

(Y/N): No problem. At least I know why you didn't answer my text.

San: You texted me?

(Y/N): It was a while ago and I just wanted to know where you were. It's nothing serious.

San: Oh, ok. I thought I was in trouble for a second.

(Y/N): You're not in trouble but... I still want to talk to you.

Judging by his facial expression, I could tell San knew exactly what I was referring to. I didn't want him to feel guilty about it though since it was my fault it happened.

(Y/N): San, everything's ok. Meet me at the hideout at 5?

He looked to the ground, thinking about this, before he answered.

San: Ok (Y/N). I'll see you there.

I gave him a reassuring smile before I left towards my dorm room. I wanted to change.