CHAPTER FOUR : Poor child

"Alina !!"

She finally woke up at the image of her dear mother in her dream, even though years passed by she could never forget about what had occurred. Since the incident, as the sisters like to call it.

After all, the word "murder" was too troubled for other younger kids that lived there, Alina always hated the word "incident", it felt like a description of a mundane life experience, her mother's cold-blooded unsolved murder wasn't some sort of tedious everyday event.

Well, since the " attempted murder" Alina has developed a series of nightmares and night terrors that after long therapy sessions with the church pastor became her new alarm, instead of Olivia yelling at her face to get ready for breakfast. She was also diagnosed, they later discovered she suffered from C-PTSD complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and had a lot of work to do, trying to get her back to normal.

Alina knew there was no such thing, she was smart enough to handle her mental illness by what all rebellious teenagers do; Pretending felt like a superpower.

She was wide awake now, she also was the eldest among all the kids in the orphanage so that allowed her to take some responsibility, despite all that she'd been through Alina was still able to keep her friendly peaceful side alive. "I just have to survive, it's all that matters" she would tell herself whenever she feels like giving her life up, catching her mother's murderer was her soul purpose, and leaving everything behind for her own inner peace just wasn't an option.

She would cook, wash the dishes, make the beds, study hard, tutor the kids just so she can be able to leave.

Taking care of the other kids was fun, she was a kid once and she knew exactly what they needed since their parents are no longer in the picture. Her favorite was Casey, a 9-year-old cute little girl and somehow Alina felt like Amanda understood her, it was quite impressive how regardless of the age gap as Alina was 13 now, but they were best friends until Casey got adopted then her days were back to the usual emptiness, it didn't matter that she had experienced it before or not because even after that it still sucked.

Sometimes, she would sneak out, she didn't care that trouble could follow. Unlike other kids, she didn't fear anything following her anymore. How is it possible and the nightmare of humanity is? What made philosophers grow when they faced its truth, and what no one wants but can't stop, no one accepts it but are going for it.

Did you guess it? Yes, it's death. Every single person that tried to take care of her getting hurt or is dead by now. The police anyhow suspect a serial killer.

When Alina was four, her therapist suggested that she had repressed her memory because the event that she has experienced was too traumatic, that was after her adoptive family put her in foster care again.

Her biological mother and adoptive family were kept out of the picture by orders from the therapist and the police so that young Alina could start over again with her new mom Lindsey. She loved her and took care of her like a real daughter, now that Alina doesn't remember anything from her past life Lindsey wanted to make new memories for her, she was a real mother.

While walking down Harrison st, there was a pet store that caught Alina's eyes, all those fluffy and furry animals, *what if my next family had a pet ? will it love me ?* she thought, daydreaming of getting out of the foster care, she wasn't sure she would miss any of it, the past 6 years of her life felt like a prison. She wanted to live, but all she was doing was dying slowly.

(Flash Back)

"Alina, my poor child! "

" Stop it " replied a weakened voice, " Leave me alone, please I don't want anyone to get hurt anymore !!!" Her voice broke as she said these words.

" Whenever they see me, they only see the monster within, nothing can make that change. Whoever killed my mother is still on the loose, and I know they're always close to me, I can feel them !"

" Feel who ? " said a man standing near her as she was holding onto a wall in the facade tower of their church.

" Who killed my mom, they're waiting again, to kill my " and before she could pursue, she had realized what she'd done, her cover-up was about to blow.

"You're what? say it !"

" Just leave " The wind blew hard, it was a foggy night, and nearly impossible to see the faces of the ones standing below her. But it wasn't enough to avert her from recognizing the voice of the detective.

" You know I can't, it's my job to protect you "

" Protect me, huh. Do you call letting my mother's killer on the loose for more than 5 years is helping me? now you claim you're protecting me, now this can't get any better !" Alina replied with a sarcastic tone as she was about to jump from the tower. Not only was she sick of their lies, but she was sick of her own lies, knowing she had to live with them her entire life made her crook.

" If you want to kill yourself, there is something I need to show you first " Sister Janet pulled a letter out of her pocket, " It's your mother's, come down child, and it's all yours "

" You think you can fool me ?"

" I think you're smarter than ending your life this way, both of us know the truth, I know your truth, but I also know you don't want this, it's okay to be afraid honey "

Policemen were now covering the place, a trampoline was placed under the tower to prevent her suicide attempt; the same blinding blue and red lights, the church's clock chimes indicated it was 11 pm, the weather was cold, and piercing. It seemed like a movie scene well-rehearsed to feel like a reality.

END OF FLASHBACK

Her eyes were watering by now, a boy from inside the shop called her inside.

She did as she was told, he asked for her name and there was no answer. He had noticed her tears so he guided her to the bathroom where she locked herself inside and stepped before the mirror in front of her, giving herself a disgusted look, she hated being weak, and her tears were a fragment of it, she wore normal clothes, normal jeans, normal oversized T-shirt, normal black jacket. She smiled weakly at the thought of a normal life. After wiping her tears she pictured the boy, he was the only one nice to her outside the foster care home doors.

When he saw her coming out of the bathroom, he rushed.

" I swore to myself not to ask you if you're okay, but are you okay ?"

I'm fine, she replied as she always does

" I noticed you were looking at family," he said while cuddling a small kitty that he was holding with his arms, he asked her if she wanted to hold her. She couldn't say no, he then introduced himself as Eren and he was doing his part-time job at the pet store. Alina envisioned the idea of a part-time job, is it fun?

" Are you happy ?" her voice was tired as always, she doesn't talk much, that was her reason.

" Ummm, I'd rather say pleased. I don't think anyone is happy these days. Are you? "

Alina apologized for the random question, handed him family, and stormed out of the store.

" Wait! You didn't tell me your name !!" it was too late.

She didn't look happy, Eren thought, * no human being is more stupid than you Eren, how can you ask a crying girl if she was happy * he blamed himself for the rest of the day as he wondered if he could ever see her again.