Charlotte -
Today I am in the last weeks of my last year of high school, I am seventeen years old, and I still do not know what career to study, but for now I am taking the language and literature classes, since they are the ones that interest me the most, in addition, Abby and Mara, who are my best friends, are there, so I do not feel alone.
A lot of people talk about me, they say a lot of things, like I'm the most popular in school, that I'm a damn biter, that I'm grumpy and a zero left in studies; The truth? I am the total opposite of everything they say, except that I am the most popular, that although I want to deny it, I am, it is not something I wanted, but I do not dislike it, I accept it; I do not consider myself a damn biter, I treat others in the same way they treat me, if anyone treats me badly, then I treat him the same way; moody I'm not either, I'm always in a good mood, I'm making jokes about a lot of things I see in movies, television, internal jokes with my best friends, but since they don't know me, they talk for the reason they talk; and no, I'm not a zero to the left in studies, I've always gotten good grades because I study, or just pay attention to class, but I don't need to be rubbing it to others, it's the worst thing you can do, you always have to be humble.
My particular style is something aesthetic, I like comfortable clothes but aesthetically combine and look good, I declare myself a fan of sneakers, my favorites are those of Nike Air Force 1, they are the best, in addition to those, I also like the Vans, Converse and some Adidas.
Today is not a normal day for me, because it was yesterday that my boyfriend and I decided to finish, I know I shouldn't feel SO bad, because we had only been dating for three months, but I thought that ours was serious. The truth is that, I do not consider myself a girl who can maintain a relationship, some end me and others I end because I am bored, I think with none I have felt any special connection, to be honest, I think that all that love at first sight, feel a "magical" connection, click, is overrated.
People do not find our true love, our soul mate, our other half; those are cursing, they are lies that writers, screenwriters and film directors try to sell us so that we spend all our money on gifts and chocolates for our partner, so that we throw away our money and get excited about something that doesn't happen in real life.
I do not consider myself a fan of romantic films, nor of romantic comedies, if you give me a choice between a film of this type, a horror film or a comedy film, I will prefer the comedy film; I consider myself a fan of Adam Sandler, Owen Wilson, the great Jack Black, Marlon Wayans, Kevin James; you could say that they are my favorite comedians, I mean, who hasn't seen "And where are the blondes?", that while you can say that it's a movie that has a very bad story or a plot that doesn't make sense in many extremes, it makes you laugh until you can't anymore, and that's that Wayans' lines are very funny; and what about Sandler's, we have "They're like kids", we all know that Adam has his own production company, which makes him able to make the movies he wants and, of course, he always calls his friends, who don't mind shooting a movie that for the most part makes jokes about gas. , belching, and in the drools they always do, which is fine, because they show the essence of them and that I weighed that their stories are not good, they will always make you laugh. And what something we can be sure of exists, is that, the laughs, there is never a shortage.
So yes, I'm not an inveterate romantic, I'm a person with zero hope of finding someone who makes her truly happy, who understands her person, who knows what's there and doesn't leave, who shares or at least understands my cinephile tastes, my musical tastes and my literary tastes. I do not believe that there is one who loves me because of how I am, who loves every imperfection that is in me, or that when he looks at me he feels that the world stops him, because he was lost in me; much less do I think there is anyone who makes me feel all that.
Now I'm on my way to school, I bring some big white headphones, I have them connected to my iphone, with 'Girls Just Want to Have Fun' by Cyndi Lauper, it's a good topic to start the day after a breakup, right?.
I can not help but go singing in the street, greeting everyone who passes by me because despite everything, this must be a good day, and we must take advantage of it; and yes, I know I said at the beginning that it wouldn't be a good day, but I'm trying to be positive.
To be pessimistic about romanticism, I'm not pessimistic about the other aspects of my life.
I get to school and meet Abby and Mara.
- Hi Char! - abby and mara said in unison.
- We narrowly thought you didn't come to class - commented Mara, the group's serious.
- Why would they think that? - I asked.
- Well... you and Tayler finished yesterday... - Abby replied worriedly.
- Don't worry about that, you know I'm not able to maintain a stable relationship - I replied with a laugh.
- Yes, but we saw you so excited that we thought it would be difficult for you to come today - mara said expressing her concern.
- You do it mara, excited, but I remind you that being excited is not the same as being in love. I deludedly thought this time would be different, but I'm just not compatible with anyone - I replied.
- If you say so... - mara replied discouraged at my answer.
We walked into the school.
- Hi Charlotte, I found out that you and Tayler broke up - said any guy.
Abby and Mara stared at him.
- Huh? Sorry, do I know you? - I asked him with some indifference.
- You don't to me, but, I to you do - he said in a certain way that it seemed like he was flirting with me.
- Well... I must go to classes, see you in the hallways, strange guy - I said going to classes to avoid having to keep talking to him.
- Do you know him? - Abby asked me with an expression that I had no idea who he was.
- No, not at all... - I replied by making an expression that implied that I was as confused as she was.
- Now everyone will approach you Char... - Mara said with a laugh.
- I hope not - I also said laughing at the embarrassing experience a few moments ago.
I had no idea who that guy who came up to me in the lockers was, or how he found out that Tayler and I broke up, I guess he took it upon himself to tell his friends and those to tell others. The truth is that it does not surprise me, for something they say that men are more gossipy than women.
I enter classes and sit among the folders in the middle, behind Mara and next to Abby, so that I can talk discreetly without Professor Fritz noticing.
- Rivers, could you tell the class and me what we saw on Friday of last week in classes? - I was ordered by the professor.
- Eh... yes, of course - I replied.
I swallowed some saliva and went on to give the explanation.
- We talk about dostoevsky's book Crime and Punishment, which talks about Rodion Raslnikov, who is a young student with economic problems, who is devising a plan that he would fulfill when visiting Alena, who is an old usurer; since he had received a letter from his mother, where he told her that his sister had been thrown out of her job because she was accused of trying to seduce her boss, so now she would have to marry Lujine, and Raskovnikov understands that his sister is doing it out of necessity and this annoys him, this is how little by little the idea of killing the old usurer is taking shape.
The opportunity to kill Alena presents itself, and Raskov realizes that this is his chance then takes an axe and heads off to externalize his plan; once the act was committed, he realized that the herma of said old woman had arrived, so he also kills her, since he could not leave witnesses.
The play focuses on Raskolnikov's paranoias for having committed such crimes, among his delusions, he believes he has told the truth to the chief of police, until he, incited by Sonia, his partner, and his sister, decides to surrender and is sentenced to eight years of forced labor in Siberia.
What can be perceived in the novel is that, sometimes consciousness can more, because although Raskonikov had left no clues, it was his consciousness that did not leave him alone, causing him to have hallucinations and fall into paranoia. Morality is criticized by trying to justify its actions. - I concluded.
I felt like everyone else looked at me amazed to have made a good explanation of the last class, I can not blame them, I never liked to participate in class even though I was among the first places for my good grades, what can I say, I like to read.
- Very well Rivers, you can tell you've been attentive - the professor congratulated me.
I nodded with a smile.
After that extraordinary presentation, the class continued with the teacher's explanation, the others seemed a little disoriented and the only people who managed to understand what the teacher was talking about, were, Abby, Mara and myself.
After the class the teacher asked me to come to him.
- Rivers, your class intervention was perfect, I'd like you to participate a little more - he began by saying.
- I understand what you are saying, but you know that people talk, and a lot, and I don't want to be seen as a phenomenon because I like to read and I take advantage of my free time - I replied.
Even though I know I'm a good student, I like to keep it private, because I know and have seen how they treat people who are smarter than the brutes who are popular, and whether I want to or not, my popularity saves me from being treated that way, you could say it's my endorsement, without it , I would be tormented every day, and to be honest, I only have little time to finish school, I do not want to spend my last time hiding from everyone.
- I know, but try to take it easy, have - give me a book - maybe you'll like reading this and when we have a class on it, you can participate in the same way you did today - he proposed to me with hope.
- Are you giving me material that we'll see in class, ahead of time? - I asked about the surprise I was given by the fact that he gave me this book.
- I think you summed up Crime and Punishment very well, and your classmates could understand what the book was about, so maybe you could do it again so that they start taking some interest in reading; think about it - he ended up with his proposal.
- Well, I'll think about it - I said.
I'm not so sure whether or not I should accept the teacher's proposal, I say, it's not like I refused to read a book, but the idea that others start sending me their negative vibes, because I have enough with everything they say about me, although it wouldn't be bad if they start to realize that I'm not any ignorant.
As I left the classroom, for some strange reason, there were five kids outside waiting for someone, at first I thought it was the teacher, until one of them talks to me.
- Hi Charlotte, I was wondering if you wanted to date me - said the number one guy.
I started listing them as they spoke, don't judge me.
I looked at it confused
- No, better go out with me - said boy number two.
I turned to see him confused too.
- No! Get out with me - the other three said in unison.
I was perplexed, they didn't know why they were fighting over me, I never said I wanted to date someone else, I didn't even talk about my breakup.
In the distance I could see how Tayler was with his friends seeing me and mocking me, apparently he had caused this; I wasn't going to let him get away with it just for telling him I didn't want to sleep with him.
- Well, I'll go out with all of you - I told you, I knew if I did this, the mocking expression on Tayler's face would go away.
I felt like Tayler and his friends started looking at me intrigued by what I was doing, but at the same time I felt that Tayler was expectant about what he was doing and I was annoyed by my response, because he up, why does he cause all this.
- Really? - the five boys asked in surprise.
- Yes, do you see that I'm laughing? - I replied sarcastically.
- Well, no... what day will you go out with us? - asked boy number one.
- I will go out with everyone on the same day, to be precise, on Friday; they will be appointments of twenty minutes at the most - I proposed - Surprise me! - I told them with a smile as I left.
I don't think these idiots understood what they were getting into but I wasn't going to stop Tayler from getting away with it, he's such an overbearing person, he feels that everyone owes him something in this life, not to mention that he's a sexist in all its extremes, denying him something was the worst thing they could do to him. , like the fact that I told him I wouldn't sleep with him. Despite not being the pro-romance person, I believe that if you're going to lose your virginity, it must be with someone you love and trust enough to do so, the opposite of what I felt for Tayler, not to mention that it must be a person who takes care of himself sexually, which I don't think Tayler does. That's why I decided to end it, but I decided not to say anything so that it wouldn't feel bad and that his friends wouldn't make fun of it, but I see what I did wrong, not everyone pays you with the same currency.
Leaving school I met Abby and Mara, who had some brochures in their hands.
- Hey! What do you have there? - I asked them.
- They are some brochures about a small event they will do at Jhonny's Cafe, they are from students of Old Dominion University, in the state of Virginia - Mara commented with some interest.
- Maybe you want to go - Abby enthusiastically proposed to me.
- Yes, I think I'll go, when is it? - I asked them intrigued by the event.
- On Saturday at 7 p.m. - Mara replied.
- If I can, see you that day then? - I asked them waiting for confirmation.
"There we will be," Abby said with her smile.
Without further afield, I went home, it had been a long and exhausting day for me, not to mention that I will have five express appointments on Friday.
I deserve a break from all this crazy so-called school.