Different feelings

Sanjana pov

I am in the class doing my last min completion of my assailment its monday and we have to submit our assignment. its new day with something different about this day, but i can't point it out i am thinking about this when i hear.

" good morning " I look up its Raj. he wish me good morning with his most charming smile, looking as handsome as always does, in black plane shirt and cream color formal pants.

I must say his smile is pretty charming but i like his hair which always get my attention effortlessly, but i also like his beard. he is looking very eatable, ohh god what i am thinking am i getting craze because whenever i see him i feel something different like very connected, kind of a pull for him.

" morning " i reply with a small smile, he went to talk with other students. yesterday night he told me that he love someone.

when first he told me about that I thought he is just buffing, but talking to him made me realize he actually love someone. and it's a bad one i really don't know that girl even deserve that or not but i must say, she is very lucky because he is very nice person I met after long time, he is different and he made people around him very comfortable.

he also start calling me baby, this used to irritate me but know..... i kinda like it because it's sound good when he said that, but i didn't show him that. I don't know just three days' and he kind of became my best friend.

he know very well that how to irritate me and annoying me, but i know i can trust him fully he give that kind of feeling, and I develop new feeling for him like he is my friend only. I have this weird habit, i get possessive for my people and i don't want to admit that i am begin possessive for him also, i don't know why but it is i just feel that i have right on him like i can say anything for him.

like that day when we went shopping i didn't like the way he is getting attention from girls, i don't know it make me upset. and when he hold me about his love i feel ache in my heart.

flashback

Raj went for some personals work, he work in company in i didn't ask about work he is just said its just a small employee i think he also work part-time like me.

when he came he brought pizza and its my favorite, one thing when ever he go out he bring something for me because he knows i love eating. we talk randomly when he told me that he has a girl friend.

" i like everything about her " he said, i dint believe him so i ask again.

" you have a girlfriend ".

then he said no! i said to him that we find a girl for him but when he confess his feeling for her i feel sudden jealous from that girl.

he said he never give up on her and he said he want her happy i feel sadness in his eye i just.... don't know it feel different i really don't want to my share my friend but when i see his sad eye i feel that what ever he said its true.

so i told him that i will help her because i should he is very good person and deserve every happiness in his life, i don't care about any one's feeling when its comes to my friends so i will definitely help him.

when i said i help me his lips curve into smile.

" really " he said.

"yes " i said to him.

"okay "

" okay "

" okay " i said with a smile.

" so what's her name and where she live " i ask and suddenly he became nervous.

" her name...… " he starch it.

" what " i said loosing my patients.

" i only tell you her name when i will ready to propose her " he said sincerely, he is being secretive.

" why " i ask begin confused.

" please don't ask her name " he said with puppy eye i made a said pout.

" why ? don't you trust me " i said with sad pout and said face.

" trust me its not like that " he said with guilty eye " when i am ready to tell her name your the first one to know about her i promise " he said i want to trust him i want to give him time to trust me.

" okay dumb ass " i said playfully.

his eye widen but after some time he beat me with pillow and we start doing pillow fight. i really dint believe in love but listening to him for some second i really believe in love.

but very next second i realise its not possible for me to fall in love with someone, i cant trust in love, i have already see that pain which love cause i am not ready for love i just cant, i am not able to love some buddy, i am not ready for that pain and i don't thing i ever will. my past experience made me realise that love is just a delusion of people there nothing like true love in the world.

but i do not want to say this to Raj, because I can't let my bad experience of life overpower other life. so what my past experience were bad but it doesn't mean that his experience also not good. I wish him to be loved, and experience good love that make him archive everything that he wants from his life. I just his girl also love him equally and never break his heart like someone did to me.