Why me

I ran passed everyone and got out of the school as the air felt rush into my lungs after I had been not being able to breathe from the crying. My eyes were still pouring out non stop as I slowly started to walk wearing a gown and a pair of heels that cut my feet every time I took a step, I was so absorbed in myself and the pain of being something so damn meaningless to Jayden and all most falling for him it was just too much. The pain seemed unbearable maybe because I have already fallen for him, I had been crying and walking for a while and damp wet in the rain that I hadn't notice until my heel broke. At that I was so frustrated I broke the heel of the the other shoe and tied my wet hair in bun and walked straight forward not exactly knowing where I was going. Unknowingly I ended up in front of the church door which was now locked I tried to open but helplessly I sat on the step. I was extremely exhausted from the walking, crying and the pain so I kept my head on my bent knees and sat there shivering from the cold. I only looked up when someone came across and held a umbrella over my head, it was Jayden and instinctively I stood up 'Are you trying to freeze to death,' he shot 'What do you care,' 'Stella,' 'No Jayden stop it you don't need to comfort me, it's true I might be one of your shiny trophies where you try to win and then when your done with it after you get but at least I know when to stop,' 'Stella is not like that,' he held my hand and as I struggled to release myself he tighten his grip 'Stella listen,' and all what was inside of me let out with my anxiety as I screamed 'No, no, no, Jayden I trusted you and I needed you to be with me but you hurt me why the hell did you hurt me, why me,' I hit his chest as I wanted him to let and go and as he didn't I lost my strength and fell on to the floor. My head was throbbing and my heart was hurting and physically I felt weak, Jayden slowly bent down next to me so I could lean on to him and then holding me in his arms so that the rain washed us both he said 'I never would do that to you, I did make a beat,' and I listened to him carefully still tears flowing as he continued 'They told me to make you laugh to fall in love with me but ever time you laughed I was the one who fell for you harder each time, I am so sorry Stella if you got hurt but you were never a bet or a trophy you were my heart and I mean it if you are gone and then so am I,' 'I felt it and the pain eased I looked at him and for the first time I saw his vulnerability 'So your promise to never leave,' 'Cross my heart,' I couldn't help but feel for him now and it was crazy how making him say that made everything fall in place back again. I smiled and I kissed him it was only a few seconds but wet. 'Let's get you home,' he said and we were on our way back home.

The next couple of months passed by with a blink of and eye Jayden spoiled me more than ever, my dad who I haven't seen him working at all finally became sober one evening to help me settle the rent but as expected the next day the money he offered was gone so that meant working in the café more often but it didn't seem to make me hate it as I always did as Jayden was there in the café when he was not at football practices until my shifts ended everyday. Kate looked after Emma and Leo and the puppy most of the time and they had dinner at our place quite often now that Jayden and I was dating. Thanksgiving came and went then Christmas came and went where I first met Mr. Elroy at their Christmas eve dinner and the New years where the fireworks went nuts when we lit them and almost burned down our whole neighborhood. Mr. Elroy came over for dinner at our place when ever he was free and was as nice as Kate except that he runs one of the largest companies in the country making them hell rich but he was like a normal dad who loved to play with his kids including Leo and Emma and watch football game shouting at the screen. One evening when we were driving back from my shift in the café I asked Jayden 'Can I drive ?,' he laughed at me 'What,' 'Nothing its just that I won't have a Jeep tomorrow,' 'Oh stop exaggerating Jayden pull into that parking lot,' I said pointing him to a empty parking lot. We exchanged seats and I turned on the radio 'Stella you don't turn on the radio until you learn to press the breaks,' he offed it 'Come on,' I turned it back on and sang on to the song just to annoy him 'Stella,' 'Please,' and I stepped on the accelerator as he held on to the seat steadily I got a hang on it 'I'll try something new,' I said after getting bored in driving circles with Jayden's instructions 'Stella no don't do anything else,' he warned me but ignoring I placed my legs on the stirring wheel 'Stella,' he kept yelling as I drove forward 'Its fine I know what I'm doing,' I said looking at him 'No you don't hit the breaks,' and I looked forward to see that we were only a few inches from the wall 'What's the break,' 'Ah what do you mean Stella,' 'Jayden wait what ,' I started to panic 'Put your legs down,' he yelled and at the last minutes I hit the breaks nearly missing the wall. After the shock was relived I laughed and from there on Jayden never ever let me drive.

It was Monday evening in March and I heard someone knock on the door when I came to look it was Jayden 'Hey,' he kissed me on the cheek and came in and carried Emma who was playing with dog 'Jayden,' I said hoping he would leave as my exams were coming closer 'What,' he asked pretending not to know 'Exams are coming up even though seniors did it last month I still need to do it this month,' 'Oh take a break,' 'I can't I have too much to do,' I said closing the door behind me knowing Jayden was not leaving anytime soon and going to kitchen to eat ice cream as I normally do when I'm stressed. As I opened the bucket and started eating it Jayden put Emma down and came towards me. He stood in front of me his hands either side of me on the counter so that I had leaning on the counter with my back pressed and he looked at me and the the ice cream. Jayden hated when I ate junked food but most of ice cream saying it would lead me to get diabetes and he wouldn't mind even if I was fat as a pig but a pig whose not sick. 'Do you want some,' he shook his head 'What have I told you,' I raised my shoulders signing I don't know 'Don't eat so much love,' he said that in his strong British accent as his accent was seen only slightly, knowing that I loved it. It was true all my receptors in the body wanted me to kiss him so I went for it but was confused when he closed his lips with his hands playfully and said 'Your infested with ice cream,' I smiled at him and played along 'Fine never kiss me again then,' and I bite my lip and it worked too much. I felt his lips on mine and he pulled me to the counter and then when I guess he noticed that I couldn't be squished in between him and the counter he lifted me up and we made out on the counter top. It felt as the whole world stopped just for me and my past left me it lasted for while until Kate came through the door and yelled 'Kids are here,' as she carried Emma we clicked back to life and I go down slightly going red. 'So Jayden is that all you going to do with her today,' Kate asked as Leo came down the stairs screaming he finished his work and at that I looked at Jayden suspiciously. 'What is that supposed to mean,' I asked Kate 'He'll tell go get ready, and don't worry I take them to our place,' and so I looked at Jayden and as he motioned me to go upstairs I went to get changed