Chapter 16

Sierra

"What happened Sierra?" came the cheerful voice of Kate. She must have been looking for me and I just switched off my phone. I don't know but I didn't wanted to talk to anyone.

"I tried calling you but it went straight to voicemail and you left us no message. I had to call your office and they said you were in a meeting. I was worried about you," she said while sitting on the couch in my living room.

"Damnit... say something, I was worried sick about you. You never pulled that kind of stunt on me before," she asked again demanding answers which I didn't knew. I am also trying to find answers.

"I don't know," I said sounding lost and a bit off. I tried to be fine but everything is not fine and thinking about how I left things is making me feel vulnerable.

"Hey, so did it really happened. I mean... you .. and Faris... like I mean.. you and him..." ,she said.. more like asked what happened last night.

"We slept together," I said not wanting to elaborate more. I know that she won't stop until I finally answer her.

"So, how was it. Is he as good as he seems in bed? Tell me.. I am so excited for you," she asked happy and excited but I don't know what to tell.

It was good, like really good. It couldn't have been better and Faris was amazing better than I could have expected.

The more I think about it the more I am forced to think about us. I know it shouldn't have affected me this much but it affecting. I have some important clients that I need to handle and I can't do that when I am thinking about it.

"Sierra... are you there," came the voice of Kate sounding concerned now that I am not answering.

***

I had been really busy these past couple of weeks. I had to be present here in New York for this huge project and just because of one and only, my dear mother, I am stuck here rearranging every plan and every detail that were already final. I fucking hate it when someone mess up or even try to mess up with my work. The fucking clients and everything had been so demanding.

This work is everything. I have worked really hard to be here. I live my position of Assistant manager in the Record Label. The only family left is my brother Liam. I love him from the bottom of my heart. Even though my mother is still there I have no feelings for her, she is one of the reasons I had to leave the city before. I had to go away from the city, leave everything that I hold dear just because of her.

When we were younger, I would hate her cause I always thought that my mother loved him more than she has ever loved me. She paid more attention towards her boyfriends, her career and ambitions were nothing, even her children didn't matter, she was indifferent to us, yet I could see that she was a bit careful with her boyfriend and was slight patient with him than she ever was with us. I hated him because I thought he was getting the love which I deserved and the only person that ever loved me was my father. He was the only person who cared for me and loved me and he too left me. He divorced her when we were children and never looked back. I used to think he loved us but no he didn't and some years later we got a call that he died in an accident.

But after his death everything changed, I was changed. If I would've met myself back then, not even I would be able to recognize myself. I was totally lost and confused and alone. I had lost hope and faith in the world. I saw the people changing, I saw the real world. I saw the ruthless and awful side of people. I became one of them. It was either that or to loose everything my father had ever earned, to loose the company.

If it wasn't for Liam than I don't know where I would've been. Liam is two years younger than me but he was the only one was there with me after that awful incident. No matter how hard I tried to get away from him and try to get rid of him, he was always there by my side. He knew what I was going through and he stood by me even when no one was there. He knew the pain and he was there.

My friend Kate and Liam were the only people I had and because of whom I had been able to reach the place that I am at today and I will not let anyone take it away from me.

A knock on the door distracted me from my thoughts.

"Can I come in?" came the voice of Kim my assistant.

Come in , I said collecting my thoughts and coming back to the present.

"The changes you asked for are done and the papers are ready for signing" she said in his usual calm and professional tone.

I want you to check for all the loops in the contract with Max and give the final copy of the papers by tonight. I have to be somewhere today.

With a nod, she left my cabin.

Finally, I decided to my mother after so long. I usually try to avoid her as much as possible, I cannot bear her for more than five minutes. It just gets too much for me. I cannot give into my emotions once again.

****

I am standing here in front of my home or should I say the structure that is left of my home. I couldn't come back her after my dad that often and my mother was not that interested in his son's life.

The huge structure that stood tall and mighty remembering the glorious memories of the days when there was laughter and joy in the house. But now it is nothing more than a mere structure. Gone are the days of joyous times and now there stood a deafening silence in its place.

I went inside, everything the same as has left as before. It seems like it was yesterday that I left this house. It has been seven years since dad has left me and it has been less than seven times since his passing away that I have been here.

My family or what I called family was not a great family but it was a family. Dad had always been busy with his businesses and used to travel a lot but whenever he could, he would take us out. He would prepare meals himself for us on special occasions and be there with us whenever needed. He was a good father. He loved me and Liam more than anything. His relationship with my mother was.. I don't know maybe a bit strained. They were there together with us but not actually with each other. We all lived in this house together as a family but my parents carried on with their separate lives. She comes from a wealthy business family whereas my Dad had started his own business. Despite all that he had faced in the early stages, he came out be a good business man and even better human being.

I hate to come back here, it brings back a lot of memories and even a lot more pain just remembering them. The memories and the moments that has been spent here will always be sore subject to me.

"Sierra...."came the voice of my mother from behind me.

I turned around to the same cold and indifferent brown eyes that had been the source of my pained soul.

"Mother!" , I said with pain filled voice.

"Mother, I need to talk to you" , I said with the same cold and indifferent tone, that I had practiced for years.

"I know what you want to talk about and believe me I did not intend to get into your work", she said while motioning me to sit.

"The what do you want what had happened in the past and I don't want to recall anything." I almost said it in a yelling and frustrated manner.

"Sierra, you know that I want what is in your best interest. I know I never had been a good mother. I was not there for you. I know what is broken can't be mended easily but at least we can try to collect those broken pieces and move on from there", she said in a strained voice.

I don't know, the past has hurt me a lot and I have moved on in my life and finally everything is going well and now you want to be a mother when you weren't there when you had the chance, I said almost loosing my patience.

"I know it's late, I am aware of the decisions I took and the consequences of it. I am not asking you to forgive me right away but you can already try," she said.

The damage done is too much and I don't want to go there back be the vulnerable and gullible boy that I used to be.

"Sierra, please.... stop..."

I have not even started mother, the scars may have healed but the wounds are too deep, I said recalling the past.

"I will take your leave", with that said I left without even turning back to even say a good bye.

This is one of the reason I have been avoiding to come back here. My mother doesn't understand that she can't just ask for forgiveness and I will forgive her forgetting years of pain, because I don't think it's possible to forget anything that has ever happened.

I need to get out of this place, why did I even came to this place after everything that had happened and it is too painful for me to even remember the things that happened here.

Damn, I shouldn't have come here.