Chapter 1

- So I will find out how did you meet him?

I sigh deeply at my friend's question. I feel her piercing gaze fixed on me expectantly, but I don't answer right away. Instead, I hold the bottle to my lips, taking a sip of the flavored beer. I stare at the setting sun. I hear him squirming on the ground impatiently as the silence stretches. We are accompanied only by quiet music played from the loudspeaker.

- Dark, we're friends. I am telling you about everything. And it is literally. It should work both ways, I guess.

Is right. I know it. And yet I keep silent and admire the landscape. Our legs hang loosely from the slope on the edge of which we are sitting. In front of us, there is a view of the field with recently sown grain.

-That's her. - I inform her.

I delight in Theresa's presence. Perhaps these are the last moments spent together. Will he hate me now? I'm really scared of this. The world seems to be moving forward, but the country where we were born and live is not too tolerant.

How to change it when the government and some priests are spreading hatred towards people of a different orientation? What if it agrees with the statement that we are not human beings, but an ideology? Will she condemn me? Will he say people like me have no right to live? Raise a family? Live with yourself?

-Oh. So you are ... - She starts uncertainly.

"Lesbian." This word resounds between us, unspoken.

-No. I am demi.

I don't turn to her, though I'm tempted to see the expression on her face at that confession, I hold back. I'm too scared. I love her, she's like a sister to me. I don't want to see the disgust on her face. It would kill me. The silence hurts enough.

I pull my legs under me and pull myself to my feet. I brush the sand off my pants. Silence is the answer enough. I hear more than seeing the movement next to me. Did will hit me? Will push me off a cliff? Will curse me? I prefer not to check it. I turn my back to her, wanting to leave before her shock wears off. But she grabs my arm before I can take my first step.

-What are you doing? Where are you going? - She asks.

She doesn't seem nervous. The tone of the voice did not change either. However, I do not allow myself to arouse hope. The fall will then be a hundred times more painful.

-To home. - I answer with my voice devoid of any emotions.

The hug tightens, then loosens. However, she does not take his hand away. I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel the tears streaming down to them. I can hear and feel that she is standing in front of me.

- Let me go. - Please, quietly.

- Dark, look at me. - involuntarily doing what she asks me to do. - What happened?

I stare over her shoulder. I stare at the forest around us.

- Don't you hate me? Are you not disgusted? - I expel my greatest fears.

She sucks in the air.

- What did you think? We are united by friendship. Did you think I would leave you by your orientation?

"Not?" Crosses my mind.

- Sorry ... - I whisper, clenching my fists.

She draws me to him. Hugs. I don't know what to do with my hands. I'm in shock. Nobody hugs me. Never. I don't let anyone do that. I do not allow anyone to exceed my personal space. And if anyone does, I must hold back a flinch.

It guides me. It helps you sit down while still keeping close.

She did not reject me. She did not leave. She still likes me. These thoughts are some consolation.

-Thank you for telling me about this. We should trust each other. Then how? Will you tell me about her? Since when do you know? - asks questions with palpable joy.

She is glad that I finally have someone? However, I am not a person deprived of emotions, withdrawn, antisocial, boring, and always sad? Unfortunately, I have to make her sad. I still am.

A big smile flashes across my face as I think about HER. My eyes fog up, my pupils enlarge, my heart beats faster.

- His name is Shadow. We met by chance. We have a similar personality as well as a lot in common, you know? She has an angelic voice. I can listen to her for hours and still would never get bored. She is the loveliest person who has ever walked this world. Shapely dark-haired girl, tomboy, chocolate eyes in which I can see stars. She is very intelligent, but also sad. I would like to take her in my arms and protect her from all the evil of this world. I can listen to her all day and night. I can look at it and admire it forever. She is my sun, hope, joy, world. - Out of the corner of my eye I see Theresa's gaze and smile. - And I won't tell you anymore.

- You love her. - States the fact.

- Yes ... - I realize what she said and I shake my head. - What? No! We barely know each other!

- Don't deny it, darling. It can be seen with the naked eye...

- You said where you were? - I hurriedly change the subject and she bursts out laughing.

I feel the weight drop from my chest as Theresa delves into the memory she tells me.

I smile slightly as I listen. I nod my head and interfere from time to time.