Trauma...

Chapter 22 - Trauma...

Tragedy, a main ingredient for the creation of great heroes in this society. It is not exactly needed in every single person in order to produce a great, but it does help heavily. It gives the aspiring heroes the drive to push forward, to achieve their dreams and aim for the top. Yet sometimes these tragic beginnings give heroes a handicap, a mental barrier which they hold with them for as long as they live, a barrier that only serves to hurt them...other times it completely tosses them in the opposite direction for which there is no way back….

<->

- Household of Hitoshi Shinsou -

He awoke early the day that he was suppose to return to school, in order to deal with the medication before heading out, and timing it to his favor. His doctor had given him new pills in hopes that they would help him, stop what he had begun doing to his mind. At the USJ attack he had done too much, pulled too hard, and now he was paying for it even more than he had before.

Placing the medication into his mouth, the boy swallowed with the help of a glass of water. It would be a few minutes before it truly took effect so he would have a few minutes with a completely clear mind, afterwards he would return to his usually mopey self that people had gotten used to seeing. No one truly knew how he was without the medication, no one but his own reflection.

As he looked ahead at the mirror, Shinsou tried cracking a smile, one of those that Midoriya was always giving to everyone. Whatever it was that allowed the speedster to smile the way he did, it simply wasn't in him, hadn't been for a while. It was simply a pointless objective, the smile would never truly be his to master. Then again..not all heroes needed to smile in order to be heroes.

Feeling the usual medicine take hold, Shinsou opened the bathroom cabinet and pulled out his new one, staring at it briefly in order to see the quantity that was required of him to take. He definitely was against any sort of consumption of any of these types of ailments, but he had no choice but to take them. If he didn't take them then he was unsure of how he would function in the future, if he did at all..

It's alright, new medication is nothing new, you've been through this dozens of times before. Maybe this time it will help and put a stop to everything that's wrong with you, hopefully it might even fix that which was broken. Can't be afraid to try new things, even if that is potentially mood changing medication.

He placed the tablet into his mouth and allowed it to go through him like the previous pill. He waited for a handful of minutes and felt himself change slightly, not really sure how he could describe this new change. All that was needed now was for him to get ready for school and be out the door before his dad decided to get up for the day, that would be the smart thing to do.

A quick shower was all he needed to wake up for the day, a cold one to get rid of his his headache. A tiny bit of ironing his UA uniform, just the shirt which had gotten a bit crumpled somehow. A small meal placed into his bag for the purpose of eating it on the way to school, he was ready for the day to come, at least that's what he wanted believed.

Stepping out of his home he sighed at the cold morning, it would be warmer in the day with luck, but right now it was quite cold. He was able to walk a few blocks to the train station before coming across a sight that stirred thoughts and memories long kept at the bottom of his mind, this never had happened before.

While walking across a bank, a simple bank, he got a flash of something. Inside his mind there was a brief explosion of images which made no sense and then they were gone just as quickly as they had come. For a second he felt lightheaded, his heart sped up and his stomach felt uneasy. He slowed his pace considerably and looked around for a surface that would give him support.

Leaning against a wall he was able to recover from whatever that was and attempted to regain his breath. His hand was above his heart as he tried to think about what had just happened to him and why. It obviously made zero sense to him, but there was little that he could do right now, he needed to catch a train for school. It wasn't like those images had any background to them, thus they weren't significant and he could simply forget about them. That's what he had wanted to believe.

- Flashback -

A boy held his mother's hand tightly, smiling as big as any five year old could smile. Today his mother had spent the entire day with him and she had promised to go get ice-cream with him after going to the bank for a withdrawal. Withdrawal, that was such a funny word to the boy, one of those that adults would always be throwing around. It was the perfect day for them, the sun was high in the sky and his mom had pushed him on the swings just an hour earlier.

He hadn't felt so good in the morning, at least that's what he had told his mom. The truth was that he was afraid to go back to school since he still didn't know what his quirk was. Some of the kids had begun to call him quirkless and he had started to believe it himself, he'd thought that his hero dream was never going to happen.

"Hitoshi, your quirk will show up one day." His mother had sat down at his bedside and explained it in the morning. "The doctor told us that it was a guaranteed, and I trust my brother's judgement on this matter. You just have to wait a little, can you do that for me?"

The boy looked at his mother and smiled, she was always right when it came to these things. He wasn't sure why he even thought otherwise. Then, the little five year old proceeded to hug his mother and let out a small giggle, things were good.

Now with him sitting on the big chairs that the bank provided, the boy sat patiently waiting for his mother to finish the 'withdrawal'. He wasn't sure how long it would take, but he knew that these adult matters tended to take too much time, or that's how he perceived it.

Looking down to his All Might hoodie the boy wondered why there were still villains with a hero as great as the Symbol of Peace. It just didn't make much sense to him, he had beat every person that ever came before him, anyone who would try to hurt innocents.

"Sweetie it's time go." His mom spoke softly to him as she offered her hand for him to take. The waiting had paid off and now they were going to go get ice-cream just like he'd wanted to get from the start of the day. This was a good day, it had been a good day, that had been the case up until that point in the day, it had been good...Why couldn't it have simply remained a good day?

Without any warning, as it usually is, the front doors of the bank were opened and several large quirk wielding villains stepped into the building. Whatever the reason had been, he would truly never know. Maybe it was money, maybe it was some other reason which would never be known by the public. Whatever it was, people died that day, in that bank, for reasons unknown to the boy.

"EVERYBODY GET DOWN AND DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE OR YOU"LL END UP WITH A BULLET IN YOUR NOGGIN!" One of the villains had been the one yelling this while waving his hand around menacingly. This made Hitoshi Shinsou freeze in fear, not knowing what to do.

"M-m-mommy….I'm scared...what's going to happen?" His mom could only look down at him with watery eyes, not sure what was to occur here. For once she was unable to answer him, because she didn't know herself.

"Now, heroes should be coming here within minutes and none of us here were really planning on leaving today without a little blood….so I'm going to take a hostage or two...just for the fun of it." This villain was obviously not stable, he had a twitch that was obvious, and his hand kept doing things that were obviously not normal, shifting at weird angles.

The unstable one went directly in front of the pair and roughly grabbed the arm of his mother. Then he placed his hand on her neck and whispered a few choice words which were sure signs of insanity.

"You know, this is a pretty good first robbery. I meet a beautiful woman with her child, get to rob a bank, get a few thousand dollars, possibly fight a hero, and the best part of today…." He lowered this part so that only she could hear, "I think that I'm finally for my first homicide, maybe the hero would be good.

The mother of Hitoshi Shinsou almost died at that moment from the rate at which her heart sped. It was absolutely terrifying, and she wasn't sure what this man would do to her child given his instability. Even her voice failed her here, not a single word was able to make it's way out.

A loud crash brought attention, to the glass ceiling. The villains had been right about the sudden arrival of a hero, it was inevitable that one would show up in a region like this. It was because of this that Hitoshi felt slightly relief, almost like everything was alright now. That had been a mistake for the boy, he should've never let his hopes get ahead of him for that's when the bloodshed began.

Like most quirked villains, they tried to use their quirks to fight the hero knowing it was the best strategy. When that failed, they knew that they were up against someone dangerous and effective, so they went with plan B. Within a second they had all pulled out a gun and had begun to fire at the hero with the best aim that they could.

Many bullets flew through the air and hit the walls, others hit the bulletproof glass that covered the tellers and bounced off harmlessly. Still, other bullets found themselves into the bodies of people. Some of those bodies belonged to civilians, others to the villains that had begun the attack. Only a handful grazed the villain or hit the scarf that formed a protective barrier around him.

Seeing all this occur, the hero had no choice but to put an end to it all before more people got hurt. He was still relatively new to the game, only graduating from UA a handful of years ago. He didn't have the experience that the greats had, not yet. That would only come with time, and with that he would be a better hero than he was that day.

Jumping from villain to villain, the hero used his capture gear to get in close and deliver a powerful punch or kick to the head. Right now he wasn't concerned by how much he hurt these criminals, they had willingly fired at innocents to put a stop to him. That would not be accepted in this nor any other society.

Before a minute was over the hero stood victorious over the majority of the villains. The only one who remained was the one who had taken a hostage before it all began. Now his thinking had paid off and he was quite happy for it. It was also quite obvious that the hero was tired and slowing down significantly.

"Oh dear, it sure does look like you tired yourself out a bit too quickly...You should've waited for back-up or something along those lines... maybe even waited for the police to come and negotiated this out. I might have given up a hostage before blowing this popsicle stand." The villain still had his hand next to her neck, waiting for the hero to do something.

"Remove your hands from the woman's neck. You have lost and there is no way that you can leave now. There is no point in carrying this out any further. The authorities are on their way, you have no more options." The hero spoke with significant breaths being taken, something that several people seemed to take note.

"That's the thing golden-eyes, I always have another option, maybe you don't see it because you are so boring, but I see a world of possibilities in this little room we have here. Also you should give yourself a haircut…" At this last recommendation the sirens could be heard, and so the villain acted accordingly.

First he pushed the boy's mother towards the hero. She stumbled towards him, happy to be away from the insane man, happy to be closer to her son. She couldn't tell that she had blocked the line of sight between the hero and the villain, something that would cause things to go even more awry.

Second, Bang! Bang! Bang!

Third, the capture gear was able to work to protect the hero from the incoming bullets, but the same could not be said for the mother of Hitoshi Shinsou. Three bullets went through her, one exited the front of her body while two remained inside. The blood splattered across the front of the black-clothed hero and onto his face as well, impairing his vision.

The hero caught the women and turned his head slightly to see a youth running to him. There were tears in his eyes and within second there would be blood on his hands and clothes. There was nothing that he could do here, he needed to stop the villain from doing any more harm.

As the hero went to stop the villain, Hitoshi grabbed his mom's hand and clenched it tightly. This wasn't supposed to happen, they were going to go for ice-cream, she had promised him. This had been a good day, that's how he was going to remember it, the best day ever.

"M-mom-m-mmy?" His voice was broken unable to truly comprehend what was going on. "A-are we going to go home now?" His voice was begging and pleading for everything to be alright in the end.

"Hitoshi, my little detective….please be good….you have a life ahead of you...use it….please don't let this affect you too much...I'm sorry that I couldn't take you out for ice-cream, but I'm sure your dad will be able to." Her grip was slowly becoming weaker, the warmth in her hand slowly turning cold. "Be a hero Hitoshi, be the best hero that you can be….and don't forget what I taught you….I love you Hitoshi...never forget that…"

At this her grip became non-existent, her eyes glazed over and the world lost all sound to the boy. All noise that had previously been in the area disappeared. None of it reached his ears, none of it even came close. The battle between the hero and villain continued a dozen feet away, but he could not hear it.

"STOP!" The boy yelled out to whoever could hear him, he just wanted it all to stop. "Stop everything please…." His second request was still loud enough to be heard but was much quiter than it had been in the beginning. The hero was hit by some acidic substance and tossed to the side, unable to continue fighting any longer. His hands applying pressure to his wound. The villain turned here to him, choosing to taunt the boy.

" Oh I'm sorry little one...I only meant to blind the bad hero, not kill your mommy. She simply got in my way and I couldn't do anything about it. Sorry…" Then he turned back to the hero and began forming a ball of acid at his fingertips.

"WHY? WHY DID YOU DO IT?" He yelled again, wanting to desperately receive a response, wanting to figure out why everything had occured. He put feeling into this question, and something else, something that tugged at both his mind and heart.

"Well, you see…" The villain was unable to answer as his eyes glazed over and simply stood there. The gun in his hand dropped and so did the ball of acid. His smile was gone, replaced with a complete look of indifference.

"ANSWER ME! WHY?" The tears from his eyes were starting to make there way into his mouth, causing a salty taste to emerge. Again he felt the tug in his mind, something that he couldn't quite explain.

"I was bored," the villain continued in a monotone, "I wanted to do something to entertain myself and this was it. It's not personal, I simply wanted to fight a hero to get rid of my boredom."

"You hurt so many people here, so many innocent people…." The boy fell to his knees and in the puddle of his mom's blood. " I wish that you couldn't hurt any more people. I WISH THAT YOU WERE DEAD INSTEAD OF MY MOM!" The scream left his lips and another tug in his mind arose, one that felt darker, it felt wrong, but also right at the same time.

Hearing this, the villains kneeled down and picked up the gun that he had dropped a few seconds earlier. He looked at it and aimed the gun towards his chest. Before the trigger could be pulled an elbow came down upon the villains clavicle, effectively breaking it into two pieces. There was a yell and the gun was dropped, the villain apprehended, and the day saved.

This was the first time that Hitoshi Shinsou had ever used his quirk, the first that he almost killed someone. It was the day that he lost his mother, the day that everything changed for him. It was a day like any other, so long ago…

- Flashback End -

Upon arriving at the school, Shinsou immediately went to the restroom and vomited in one of the stalls. The body fluid simply came from his mouth and wouldn't stop flowing. He made sure that no one had seen him, made sure that no one saw him cry to himself. He didn't know why this was happening all over again, he'd been through similar attacks before, but this was much worse than any of the other ones.

It all seemed so real, it was just as if he was there once again, helpless to do anything. He was five once more, he had been on the train and then he'd been sitting at the bank within a second. It had all been in his head obviously, but it didn't make it any less worse.

It was so real, I was there again, and I couldn't save my mom in time. I just needed to speak a minute beforehand, one minute before and she would have been saved, it's all my fault. She would have been alive if I hadn't insisted on staying home that day. She would have gone to work, and she would still be alive.

Why am I even in the hero program? I didn't defeat the robots like everyone else did, I'm just here because another kid failed and I was there to take his place, that's all. I don't deserve to be here, I never deserved to be here…

The self-doubt set in, something that had come and go over the years, something that had affected him greatly to this day. After a handful of minutes the boy flushed the toilet and exited the stall, wiping his eyes to get rid of the tears. He rinsed his mouth and placed a piece of gum into his mouth so that the smell of vomit would be nowhere near him. He couldn't let anyone know about this.

Walking into the classroom he was the only one there, just him and his self-doubts. He didn't know how he could face his classmates after doing what he did, especially in the state that he was currently in. This was going to be a long day...and against his better judgement...against all reason...he pulled another tablet and placed it into his mouth...feeling the effects dampen his pain, both emotional and physical...