18. False Truths

Jackal.

Hunter saw the slap coming from a kilometer away, but he let it happen. His brother hadn't been himself ever since he returned from the Gray. He hadn't been the slightly cautious, always smiling and making jokes brother he had known for only a year. He'd changed. And he understood that change more than he'd like to. He'd had Hera by his side to cope with that change, but Dan had come crashing back into his old life, trapped with the knowledge of life on both sides of the coin. He knew he was at home, but he didn't feel like it.

Hunter knew his brother felt like he didn't have anyone. But he'd have his brother's back until the very end, even if his brother didn't want it.

Hunter rubbed his cheeks and waned a smile. "Hey, Dan."

Dan jabbed a finger into his chest. "Do not 'hey Dan' me, motherfucker."

"Language."

"Oh stuff it up yours, Hunter." He noticed Hera's sly smirk next to him. Nero used to chew him out the same way, and Hera was enjoying it. "Explanations. Spill them."

"Woah. I've never seen him so high strung before," the girl with green hair muttered. Saia, he recalled. Hera had told him about her. She was an asset, she looked unmotivated and lazy, but Hera had told him otherwise. Shifting expectations.

Tohka crossed her arms. "Yeah, I'd like them, too. Because, and sorry for my language, what the actual fuck."

Hera's brows lifted. Shit. He discreetly tapped the holster on the small of his back: empty. He'd left her desert eagle in his supply closet. The three scars on his cheek tingled, her white nails looked sharper. Were they sharper? No. His mind was playing tricks on him.

He swallowed hard as Hera crossed the small room and stood in front of Tohka. She was a head taller, but Tohka didn't take a step back. She'd always had a back bone, but some activities could lead you to death and nothing but that. Being new in Hera's eyes and not shedding an ounce of your ego when she's in your presence was a way to play 'how fast can she slit your throat and erase your bloodline.'

Hunter had seen it firsthand. One too many times. He'd nearly been one of them a long time ago.

The two stared at each other. Hera's face was in its neutral stoic position, not giving an inch of emotion. Tohka was trying to do the same, but the slight glaze of sweat on her forehead told Hunter everything he needed to be told. The slight jump in her dark eyes like the frightened look of the rebellion's soldiers when he drew his axes across their necks.

Hunter darted forward before Hera could flip and slam Tohka onto the floor. Hera was good at hiding her anger, she was a chess player after all, a soldier, a leader, but she snapped as easy as kindling when it came to her guns.

He stepped in front of her and grabbed her wrists. "Hera, I can explain."

"Why," she growled, "does she have my gun?"

"Your gun?" Tohka asked.

"The desert eagle," Hunter explained.

Hunter could feel the flex of Hera's fingers from her wrists. "Give me the gun."

Tohka took a step back. "I found the gun, and I know I'm new here, but I'm not going to be given some used machine gun or whatever."

Kira whistled. "She's got balls."

"I don't completely understand what's going on," Saia added, "but I know she made a mistake."

Hera twisted her hands free from his grip, stepped back, and drew her own desert eagle. The gold hummed under the fluorescent light, the barrel glaring at Hunter's chest. He'd pressed against it with his hands in the air, they'd need Tohka, since Casper hadn't joined them. He'd be a problem, but Tohka was a plus for them after they'd lost that other girl. Mei. Their number had balanced out again.

"What, you don't care about Nero anymore?" Hera spat.

Hunter flexed his jaw. "I didn't say that."

"Then why are you standing in my way?"

"Because," he gently tried to lower the gun – it was like a pillar glued to his chest, "she's useful with a gun. We need her." He put a hand out behind him and said, "Tohka. Gun, now."

"But-"

"Now, Tohka."

She muttered something and pressed the heavy gun into his palm. He handed it to Hera and she clicked the safety on for the gun jammed against his chest. He'd tried to control his breathing, but his lungs had begun aching. Hera was capable of shooting him. They'd fought before, and he had enough bullet wounds because of her. But they'd come to an understanding, they couldn't walk out on each other, they were the only ones left from Deus Squad, and they couldn't turn on each other.

She holstered the silver and the gold, the double holsters near the base of her spine clicking as they magnetically clipped the guns into place.

Dan cleared his throat. "Explanation, since whatever that was is finished."

Hunter begun fiddling with his rings again. It was a bad habit, but it calmed him down during the war, and it calmed him down right now. "Hera and I were in the war together, and we've been communicating for a few days now."

"Why?" Tohka asked.

Kira sat on the bed next to Saia. "Because, there's a shitstorm brewing on the Island."

Language, Hunter thought. "Grace is planning to move in and try and rip the Gray out of our hands."

"Haven't we already done this before? With Magnus?" Saia said. "We tore down the bridges and Dan showed us the tunnel entrances we should seal." She muttered, "By breaking in and killing Mei."

Dan's shoulders slumped and he looked down at the floor.

They may all have been friends two years ago, but they'd all been friends before Dan had arrived. He'd lost his chance to baby his younger brother, he was nineteen now, he'd have to watch how he handled it. He'd had to handle it at a younger age. Fallow men don't get it easy, hard life and a sudden death. That was the only easy thing they got. So Dan would have to try and push through, he'd made it this far in life after everything he'd endured, so he couldn't stop now.

"Grace is a different animal," Hunter continued. "She's a Fallow with connections."

There was a collective eyebrow raise, Kira was the first to speak: "She's a Fallow?"

Hunter nodded. "My second cousin. From the other branch of the family." He raised his hand to cut off any more questions. "Dan, Grace and I are the only ones left. That I know of."

"Christ," Draco muttered. "I always heard of ya'll from some of the older Berserkers when I was growing up. Thought I'd never get to meet any of you. Now you keep popping up and shit keeps getting messier."

"We tend to fuck things up," Dan muttered. Kira tensed slightly and rubbed her forearms.

"So we cannot afford to move the same way we did with Magnus," Hera said, her voice heavy and cold. "We were hindered by the Council back then, but now we're not. We'll be attacking first."

"Again?" Dan whispered. "Again with the fighting? Why?"

Hunter straightened his shoulders he hadn't realized he'd slumped out of exhaustion. "The main threat is what she can do with the Unit. She's smart and she's been working on something that I hadn't been able to find out. We have to move fast and efficiently."

"Luckily," Hera said, "we have the Unit and she doesn't, so all of this can be over quickly."

"Hey, Dan." Kira stood, the others looked at him. "You okay?"

He was shaking. Rage. His green eye seemed to glow in the room's stark light. "No."

"No, what?" Hunter asked.

"To all of this!" he shouted. "Fuck me. Everyone wants to just fight and kill each other. Everywhere I freaking go."

"Sorry to break it to ya," Saia drawled, "but we don't do the holding hands and signing bullshit."

He laughed, it was dry and empty. "Oh my goodness I said I was freaking sorry that I killed Mei. I fucked up. I killed people. Me. And I feel like shit about it, alright? I can hear her humming every single second of the day! I can't even sleep because of her!"

A confession that made everyone take a collective step back. Hera folded her arms, Kira sat back on the bed, Saia avoided Dan's eye contact, and Tohka took a tiny step forward. Hunter put his hand out in front of her and shook his head. They needed to hear this now. Dan was too valuable, as a brother and the only family he had left, for him to break down during the fighting. He was dangerous if he needed to be, but he needed to get over this hill. And Hunter would help him if he needed it.

He would always have his brother's back.

He took a deep breath and pushed his long black hair back. "I…I don't get it. How do we know we're the good guys? We just keep killing people and I just…I can't do it anymore. I can't keep washing my hands just for more blood to clog up the sink! How the hell can I shower for two hours and still smell like iron?!"

"Dan-"

He cut Kira off and continued, "And everyone just wants to keep using this thing in my head! Like I don't freaking exist, like I'm just in the way of what everyone actually wants! Do you understand what this thing has done to me? I wake up every day questioning myself, do you fucking understand how that feels?! Do you?!" The only sound in the pause were the heavy breaths he took. "The first memory I have is getting my skin peeled off of my back. Imagine that – wires getting forced into your spine, the sound of a drill ripping into your skull. I was a fucking KID! I wanted them to kill me, I was a thirteen year old who didn't even know why he was there but I already wanted my life to end!"

Hunter swallowed. The pang of guilt in his gut sat heavy. He'd left Hera to look for his brother after his step mother had sent him a letter and told him what happened. If he'd been faster, smarter, hell, even luckier, he'd have stopped all of this from happening.

Dan walked backwards until his sweat covered back slapped against the wall. He was crying, barely breathing between choking gasps. "Does anyone even care about me? If I wasn't the Unit, would I even matter?" Silence. He looked at Hera. "If I wasn't the Unit, would you have kept me around two years ago? Answer me."

Hera flexed her jaw.

"I said answer me. A guy who couldn't fight. A guy who didn't drink or smoke. A guy just trying to find his mum. Would I have been kept around?"

The room was deadly silent. The soft hum of the lights above them were the only things to bring sound into the small white chamber. Hunter wanted to hug his brother and tell him yes, they would have kept him around. But he'd have been pushed away. He hadn't been here two years ago. He'd only known the Dan that could fight, the Dan who drunk occasionally and smoked illegally with Tohka on the rooftop. The Dan without a mother. The Dan with scars and nightmares.

He could see Kira wanted to speak up, but something was holding her back. She was rubbing a pair of aviators on her collar. She wasn't much of a pep talker, just like Hera hadn't been. Hunter had needed a pep talk more than once, and received nothing but an understanding silence like the one plaguing the room and his brother.

Dan nodded his head, his lips in a thin line. "Alright. I see."

Hunter cleared his throat, drawing eyes from around the room. "Could I speak to my brother? Alone."

Draco was the first to nod and leave. Saia slid off of the bed, she paused for a moment to look at Dan, but he had his eyes shut. Tohka squeezed his shoulder as she left. Kira slipped the sunglasses off of her collar and placed them on the bed side table. She walked past him without even so much as a glance.

Hera drifted past him, briefly whispering something into his ear that made him flex his fist.

The two brothers were alone now. Only joined by a father that hadn't been completely there for either of them. Hunter from a mother who died giving birth to him, Dan from a mother who was forced to give birth to him. The final two Fallow men left in the family. Hundreds of generations' worth of presidents, politicians, tyrants, warlords, great minds, lunatic and everything in between. Separated by a broken trust.

Hunter sighed and sat on the hospital bed. He brushed his clammy hands on the warm bed sheet. "Dan-"

"Save it. Please, just save it."

Hunter unclipped the golden laced silver cross from his neck. He rubbed the cold metal and felt its pulse, indicating Hera's proximity. But that was its secondary purpose, his brother needed to know it's first. "Do you know what this is?"

"A pretty necklace," he muttered, a dead look in his eyes, shadows coloring just underneath them. "So what?"

"It's a promise."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"A long time ago, when I was around sixteen, the war was getting bad. The rebellion knew they were done-"

"Where is this going?" he quietly snapped. "I don't need a history lesson."

Hunter raised a hand. "Just let me finish. The rebellion knew they were almost done, give or take a year and the capital in the east coast would have been taken. But us guys in the west coast didn't know that, we thought we were losing." Hunter chuckled silently. "The communication was terrible. We got rations once a month, had to hunt for our own food. Had to eat stray dogs, some of us started boiling flowers and drinking that up."

Dan's face was blank.

Hunter continued, "So, that of course meant that some people lost hope. Some people were ratted out pretty early and taken care of. But other people were harder to take out, or harder to find, would be better to say." Hunter rubbed his hands together. "Nero was one of them."

"And?"

Hunter sighed. "And he was my closest friend. I'd hated him at first, hell, Hera hated the both of us at first as well. But war can do things, break down barriers. Makes you look at life differently." He smiled as old memories of Nero stealing food for 'little Abigail' flashed across his mind. "But he lost hope. He'd bought into the news that said we were going to lose. He turned sides to save me and Hera, but that was going to sacrifice everyone else."

"What happened to him?" he whispered.

"I killed him."

Dan glared. "You just keep drowning in your own shit."

Hunter nodded. "I know. I know. But, he wanted me to kill him. He'd told the rebellion a lot. Where we were, where our food was being kept, ammo and all that. A lot of our men died because of him. And then he found out about the state of the east coast and how close it was to collapse." Hunter leaned forward. "And he just…couldn't take it. So one night, he brought me out of a farmhouse the three of us had taken refuge in and told me what he'd been doing."

"Did you kill him on the spot?"

Hunter shook his head. "No. The younger me would have, but I'd been just like you, tired of killing. But he was stuck. There had already been rumours about him spreading through our ranks, and the east coast would take him out if he'd been found out as a spy. So…he asked me to do it." He lifted the cross, it glimmered in the light. "This was his, and so was the one Hera has. He made me promise to win the war. To pay for his sins."

"Pay for his sins," Dan muttered, his eyes staring into a space that wasn't there.

Hunter stood from the bed and walked towards his brother. "I don't keep doing this because I like it, Dan. I do it because Nero killed more people than you can imagine." He placed a gentle hand on Dan's shoulder, squeezing it and forcing a thin smile. "That's why I keep fighting. Until I can't walk anymore and I'm riddled with bullet holes."

"What about your sins?"

Hunter shrugged. "I don't care about those. Nero was practically Hera's big brother. He was my closest friend. I'd tear down a city for either of them if it meant they'd go up there and see the big guy at the end of it all."

"So what's this all about?" Dan shrugged off his hand.

"Keep fighting. I know you don't want to, I've been exactly where you were. But keep fighting for Mei at least. Make sure she didn't die only for Grace to win."

Dan rubbed his eyes and inhaled, unsteady and raspy, but deeper than his earlier breaths. "I don't want to kill." He waved his hand through the air and cut Hunter off. "But…fine. I'm not going to use the Unit. And I am not going to kill. But I'll help."

Hunter nodded. He knew an outright win would have been out of the question, but he wasn't going to lose his brother again, and that was a win enough.

"I'm still going to beat the shit out of you."

"Language." Hunter chuckled. "Fine. It's the least I deserve." He pressed his fist against his brother's chest, he had done that when he was a child and he'd always giggled, now a faint smile painted his down turned lips. "I'll always have your back."

Dan nodded. "It'll be a while until I trust you again. But…I'll try."