Looked Different

Chapter 24

As I stood in front of the bathroom mirror I looked at myself with uneven strands of short hair. My eyes were still red and a bit fluff from shedding all those tears of pain and denial. The love of my life had died and was now reborn as a vampire.

"The fuck?" I heard someone cursed from behind causing me to look back. Chealsea rarely cursed. She usually was a woman of few words but when she does speak, she'd flood you with a hundred words per minute. "What the hell have you done with your freaking hair!" She walked in front of me. "You look like a crazy woman who had her way with a razor!" She looked at my hand surprised to see the thing she just said. She uttered a curse and took the straight razor from my hand, placing it on the counter. "Gimme that! You could have hurt yourself. Idiot! Stay here, don't you dare move a muscle." She grumbled as she marched out of the bathroom.

My mom probably heard the commotion so she came running to the bathroom as well. When she saw what I did to my hair she gasped and covered her mouth with her fingers. "Oh baby." I heard the pity in her voice. "You should have told me you wanted it shorter." She looked at me with so much sadness. She knew what happened messed me up. She's been a witness to my struggle these past few weeks.

I looked down, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry." I whispered. The next thing I knew was Chealsea dragging a chair inside the bathroom and making me sit. I was facing the bathroom mirror once again and looking at myself.

"Tita, I took the barber scissors I found in the drawer. I'm fixing this carzy's hair." she said, still pissed off. She walked behind me and started combing my hair, or what remained of it. Some strands were longer than the others. I chopped off quite a lot.

She started cutting my hair shorter at the back and on the sides, though she did not touch most of my bangs. My bangs remained longer. It could cover my eyes and most of my nose. She also gave me an undercut. I saw a whole new different person in the mirror. I never had my hair this short. Even in our military training I could at least tie my hair back.

I sighed, scratching the side of my neck. "Thanks." I looked at Chelsea in the mirror as she looked back at me. I still had the haunted look in me, but who am Ito complain when she and the others were the one doing all the work protecting us. "How are Queencie and the others?" I asked.

"We're all worried about you. But they have their hands tied right now so I'm the only one here." She answered. She held my shoulders. "I'm off for a couple of days. I'll stay in the hospital with you. How's your arm by the way?"

I lifted my left arm showing her my cast, with an infected angry wound on it's window, "I'll need an amputation if they refuse to operate on me tomorrow." I said in a disheartened tone.

"Idiot!" She tapped my head on the side. "Of course they will. I know you've been struggling for the past few weeks, you need to be strong."

I smile weakly. Judging from the supply totally cut off from our shelter, it'll be a miracle for them to put me under complete sedation. The best they could do would be to put me in deep sleep, but that could cause a fifty percent chance of either comatose and brain death. I wanted to reassure myself. But with the pain I was constantly in, I could bet that They'll have to gve me a lethal dose before I'll get into deep sleep.

I needed to take a shower because some of my cutted hair clung to my skin. They left me in the bathroom to clean up. I Stripped off my razor back loose top and my pajamas. I was already used of using just one arm with every thing. I knew I'm over compensating. But it's my defense mechanism. I needed to be better in order to protect people I cherish. I felt so useless because of this weakness.

I stood under the running water. I just closed my eyes and let it enveloped me. It was cold and refreshing. If only I could wash all over me. 'If only I could be with the cold forever.' a thought ran in my mind over and over. I wanted to be witth him so bad it hurts.

I stayed in the shower until my skin got wrinkled because of the water. I looked at myself at the mirror before I got out, I looked like a different person now. But why was my feelings the same.