24 Brooke’s Thoughts

I knew that the Elves were the root of the problem. It was obvious. Ainur had basically been throwing a tantrum. I'd known from the moment I'd heard the Shapeshifters caterwauling, and as I walked down the steps to the Elves cells I was absolutely positive.

Walking into Ainur's cell alone was difficult enough, but then James appearing behind me only made matters worse. I did my best to keep calm and not to show Ainur how much he terrified me. But when he mentioned Raph I broke.

As soon as James had brought me out of there I focused on keeping my mask up. I can't show him how much that previous Elf king had gotten to me. He pushed me unexpectedly into the wall and I just waited for him to release me. When he did I walked as fast as I could to the stairwell.

I stopped at the bottom to collect my thoughts; with one hand on the railing my mind was stuck. It wouldn't move from the one topic I did not want to be thinking about.

"Another one for you to kill?" I blinked and tried to block out Ainur's words. I suddenly felt myself being picked up. I guessed that it was James and didn't fight him. He would probably bring me back to the house where I could sit and try and muddle through my thoughts.

When we reached the top of the stairs he set me down. I took a few deep breaths to try and control my thoughts. There was blood now, it was appearing everywhere. I blinked and hoped for it to go away but it didn't.

I heard a familiar voice and then I saw Thomas. He crouched down and met my eyes. His eyes were golden, like Raph's, except that they had always been darker, Raph's had shone with a brilliant hue that had made my heart melt.

He called my name but I didn't listen. He wasn't Raph. My mind flashed back to a simpler time. The pit in my chest grew and grew until it ached.

James picked me up and brought me to the car. On the drive home I was somehow reminded of our wedding night. The cabin and Raph telling me he loved me so earnestly.

As soon as we got to the house I got out and walked to the front door. It was locked, why would it need to be locked? The Pack is safe, especially the inner circle.

But James lumbered over to where I stood, his size making me want to shrink into the two potted plants on the front steps. I fought the urge to do so and as soon as he'd finally unlocked the door I went inside and up the stairs.

Sitting on my bed I curled myself into a ball, which many of my sore muscles objected to.

My chest ached and longed to feel something, love, warmth, anything that would make this painful ache go away. I hugged a pillow and when I wanted to sleep I took a sleeping pill and fell asleep. Nightmares awaited me in the dark depths of sleep.

Like sharks they attacked me, tearing me apart.

I was screaming as acid was poured all along my naked body, it's toxic droplets singing my hair and scorching my already scarred throat.

I whimpered when the burning liquid ceased and was left alone to eventually pass out on the cold stone floor. A floor that was stained with my blood, and my tears.

I laid there, curled into a ball, consciousness drifting in and out. It was then that I realized that I was stuck here, doomed to forever go through this cycle of torture. My lips never once uttering a forbidden name.

I sat up in my bed, my greasy hair shaking with the movement. My lungs deflated and I simply sat there, not knowing what to do.

I had a shower first, the hot water always helped to keep some pain and flare ups away.

I walked down the stairs, dressed in my pyjamas and my robe. I walked into the kitchen and sat on the floor eating some brownies. Parker appeared from somewhere and cuddled with me.

He still acted as though I was a stranger, but he seemed to be getting used to this new person. The brownies began to go down harder and I put them up and away in the cupboard.

I sat in the living room, unsure of what to do. It was early, I knew that, but my hands needed to do something so my brain could work.

I stood up, and then collapsed. 'Oh, shit.'

I winced when I tried to move my left ankle, so I decided to crawl. I crawled to a corner of the living room and huddled there, my robe providing some comfort.

I did my best to keep my ankle straight, it would heal eventually.

James came down ad stared at me for a solid five minutes. I only stared back at him, his bearded face a dark eyes watching me. Then he moved on without a word.

When it was lunch I got up and successfully walked to the kitchen. James was making avocado toast. I sighed silently and took a few steps towards the toaster.

James was directly next to me and I had to quell my anxiety. His height, at times, reminded me of El-kor. And with him hovering over my shoulder I couldn't see him, my hands started to shake as I dropped the bread into the toaster.

As soon as I'd dropped the bread into the toaster I took three steps back. I breathed a sigh of relief at being able to keep him in my sight.

After lunch Thomas came by, he looked tired but was energetic enough that I ignored it.

"What do you mean, go to their house for dinner?" James asked. I'd blacked out when Thomas had been speaking and had only just come to.

"Alpha would like you to. They will invite you in a few days, the Pack will be very glad to hear of this, 'cause once your family accepts this," He gestured to the both of us, "Then the whole Pack is sure to become more lenient.

I tilted my head ever so slightly. The idea of meeting James's family did not sit well with me. James hated me, he loathed the very idea of my existence. So I assumed that his family was the same.