Shit, I am getting a call from my uncle, he must know what happened. Maybe I shouldn't attend. All of a sudden the cat grabs the phone and answers the call and start meowing. Gives me the tung and another middle finger. Bitch as cat has it in for me, shit.
Uncle– "Hey Dan I am on my way back home right now. Should be there in five minutes, I am thinking of having a small get together tonight. What do you think? Wait what was that noise? A cat?"
Dan- "Hey Uncle, hope all is well. It's the radio playing some weird cat noises."
Uncle– "Ok. So, are you in for tonight?"
As I'm about to answer, I hear my uncle say:
Uncle– What the fuck is going on?
Dan- "What's wrong Uncle?"
Uncle- "There's a dead cat on my porch."
Dan- "Hope it's not your cat."
Uncle- "I will call you back soon."
Man, oh man that was close. The cat can't seem to stay still, it's so freaking angry at me.
Dan- "Sit down kitty, you are making me nervous. If you continue, I will need to stop at a gas station and use the toilet. I am warning you now, behave."
Flufii - "Fine you damn fool, just get me something to eat."
Either way I had to stop by the gas station to use the facilities, had no other choice. My uncle was freaking out about the dead cat and this cat is now causing me tension. As usual I had to build my own protection on the toilet seat. The management at the gas station was not providing the seat protectors. I hate that, makes me even more nervous. Not to mention every 5 minutes, idiots try to open the door. Can't they read the toilet is occupied on the door. I also hate those stares as I'm leaving the restroom after 15 minutes. I just want to lash out at all the disappointed faces waiting for me to come out. Bathroom for me is a sensitive area. I take it very seriously. But when I have no options I take what I can get. Gas stations and clubs are my two least favorite places to go. One toilet and most dirty. Anyways, the cat wants some food for our next journey. I have to get the apartment ASAP. I can't afford my uncle seeing this cat at my parents, and George wants nothing to do with it at all. I need to come up with a good excuse even if the place is a shit hole. I grab some cheese sticks of all sorts. Hop into the car and throw the cheese sticks at the cat. The cat somewhat tamed, throughs out a claw:
Flufii - "You want to tango fool?"
Dan- "Put that thing away. I'm just angry at the whole situation."
The cat relaxes and goes after its meal. Peels of the label and starts licking the cheese.
Flufii - "Yum, yum, it's not my thumb."
The cat keeps on singing that while eating the entire time we are driving. At least it's not angry at me anymore. Oh wait, here comes another middle finger. This time it was different:
Flufii - "I'm going to cut you soon."
But the cat laughs it off and continues to munch on his meal.
I smirk at that thing and start calming down as we pull up to George's place. My uncle calls me back.
Uncle- "Dan, I am going to cancel tonight's get together."
Pretending to be concerned and relieved all at the same time.
Dan- "Uncle what's going on."
Uncle – "Someone pretended to kidnap my cat and left a dead one on the porch."
Dan- "Are you sure it's not your cat?"
Uncle- "Yes, I'm sure it's a different color and breed."
My attention to detail really needs to improve. The cats somehow to me looked similar. I can't believe they are totally different.
Uncle- "My wife told me someone looking like me entered into my apartment and stole the cat. But we spoke the prior night and she got high. Maybe she was dreaming or hallucinating. But the dead cat on my porch was left with a weird note. Anyways, I need to file a police report. We will have to meet some other time."
Dan- "Hope you get it all sorted out, bye!!!"
Fey, that was a close one.
I look at the cat and it's hiding something behind its back. Smack, he slaps me really hard with the cheese stick. I got really scared and jerked my head toward the driver door window. I hit the glass really hard, almost going unconscious.
Flufii – "Next time fool, listen to me. You are not clever enough to scheme such delicate plans."
My head is spinning and finally George comes out. He sees the cat in the passenger seat.
George- "No freaking way man. You stole the cat?"