I'm Fine

A new day approaches. I wake up in my hospital room. Silence fills the room. I don't think I can do this anymore. I will be forever on pills to control my sanity. Who wants to live like that? 

Knock, knock 

"Yeah?" I shout. 

The door opens, it's my doctor. He smiles as he walks through the door, he slowly closes it behind him. 

"So Killian, school day!" he says with a smile. 

School is underrated. Just full of jocks who think they own the place with their skinny side pieces known as cheerleaders. 

"Yay..." I say sarcastically. 

"It'll help you take your mind from the medical issues Killian, there is someone who will like to see you every day in school." He says. 

"They're part of our unit for counselling" he continues.

Wow. I have someone at school who I can pour my feelings out to? That's great! 

"Cool. So just spill the beans daily then?" I ask. The doctor nods and smiles. He walks over to my desk and grabs my rucksack. 

"Let's get you organized then shall we?" he says. 

I nod. I've never known of a doctor being so nice, maybe it's his type of job role. He starts packing my rucksack for me with my books and files for school. I walk over to my wardrobe and to grab some clothes. I open the doors and stare at the t-shirts I have. I pick my band tee, dark blue skinny jeans and my Van's. I look at the side of my wardrobe at my hoodies I grab my black Van's hoodie. 

"I'll grab your lunch from the kitchen to put in your bag, Killian, I'll let you get ready." The doctor says as he opens the door. 

"No problem." I reply. 

He walks out of my room and I get dressed immediately. I grab my rucksack and walk out of my room and wait by my door. The doctor walks over with a smile and a paper bag. 

"Here you go, Killian. Hope you have a wonderful day." He says. I nod. 

I get to school; I see my friends Penny and Wade stand at the school entrance. I walk over nervously as I've been off school for a few days since this whole mental illness got worse. 

"Hey guys!" I shout. They both look over as I approach them and smile. 

"Hey Kil! Are you feeling better?" Wade asks. 

I don't feel better but I can't tell them that or it will come across that I am attention seeking. 

"Yeah dude, I'm fine." I reply. 

"That's great!" Penny says happily. 

"Come on guys, let's go inside." Wade says as he leads the way into school. 

We get to our lockers and place our books and files inside. I scan through the books for English as that was my first lesson. 

"So Kil, how are you really?" Penny asks worryingly. 

"I'm ok Pen, don't worry." I say. I continue rummaging through my locker for my books. I grab my English book and other minor things. 

"Kil, you aren't alright. You're too quiet, which isn't like you." She says.

I slam my locker shut and throw my books into my rucksack. 

"How many times do I need to tell you both? I'm fine!" I shout. Penny looks at me in shock and took a step back. Wade comes running over. 

"Hey, hey! What's going on?" he asks. 

I throw my rucksack over my shoulder. 

"Nothing, it's ok Wade. I just pushed Killian a bit too much with questions." She replies. 

"Oh, ok. Are we heading to the first lesson?" Wade asks. I nod and walk to English. 

I don't understand why people feel the need to drill me. If I say I'm fine just listen. I sit at my desk; I glance over to Wade and Penny's desk. They are staring at me. I can't help but feel an overwhelming amount of anxiety hit me all at once. I turn to look at other classmates. Three jocks were also staring at me. Their names Xane, Donnie, and Alex. I turn back around facing the front of the classroom; I begin to shake. The anxiety builds, I can feel my heart racing as if it was going to burst out of my chest. 

'Why is everyone staring at me? Is it because I snapped at Penny?' I thought. 

"Killian? Are you listening?" the teacher asks. Everyone laughs. 

"I think his hearing is impaired as well, sir" Xane laughs. The entire class laughs with him. I jump up from my desk. 

"If you've got something to say, say it to my face!" I yell. The rage built up almost immediately, fueled by the laughter of the entire class encouraging it to go up quicker. 

"Hey big man, sit down and untangle your knickers," Alex shouts. 

"OK class! Enough is enough!" the teacher shouts.

I think I start crying, but I know exactly what it is, blood. I felt it trickling down my cheek, my nose started to bleed. 

"You have no idea!" I scream as I flipped my desk.

All my work fell all over the floor, people on desks around me start shuffling away. I kick the desk towards the front of the class. 

"The hospital is right, Kil, you are a psychopath!" Donnie laughs. 

I turn to look at him and quickly threw myself at him. I grab him by his throat and pin him against the wall. I could easily crush his windpipe if I wanted to. The teacher has already left the room; I'm guessing he's getting help. I have my chance. The entire class was screaming, and some of the girls were crying. Penny stood in shock and Wade comes running over to try and pull me away from Donnie, but he isn't successful. 

"Go on, say it again! I dare you," I retort. 

Suddenly three teachers pull me off him and carry me out of the classroom. I start kicking and screaming, trying to get free. Two teachers holding my legs and one holding me under my arms. 

"PUT ME DOWN" I scream.

I was carried to the nurses' room, put onto the bed and the school police officer cuffs one arm to the bed and a teacher uses his belt to tie my other arm. I scream and scream to the point I realize I'm starting to sound like I'm possessed. I don't sound like me. There is blood everywhere from my eyes and nose. My doctor and parents enter the room. The doctor sedates me again. I slowly close my eyes until I see nothing but black.