Chapter 29: Stronger than Ever

Joker's POV

"What! Seryoso ka, Joker? Wala 'tong halong biro? Gusto mo si Chester? Hindi ka naman lasing o wala kang lagnat?" tanong ni Lucas sa akin.

"Oo, seryoso ako. Mukha ba akong nagbibiro?" sagot ko sa kanya habang pinapakita ko ang seryoso kong mukha.

"Ta*na, pre, kung si Harry, magegets ko pa eh. Pero si Chester? Ano nakain mo pre! Hindi ka magugustuhan nun!" sagot ni Lucas.

"But, lately, nakikita kita with Harry. What's that? What's the deal?" tanong ni Seph.

"I was just... using Harry." sagot ko sa kanila.

"T*ng *na mo, Joker, walang halong biro. Pinapaasa mo 'yung tao? Hindi mo ba nakikita 'yung itsura niya kapag kausap ka niya? Sobrang saya niya!" tanong ni Lucas.

"I'm with Lucas this time. Joker, what were you thinking? Why use Harry? Tingin ko medyo... sumobra ka na. That's not right." sagot naman ni Seph.

"I know, I know. But can you please let me explain?" hirit ko sa kanila.

"Sige! Ipaliwanag mo 'tong kap*tan*in*hang ginagawa mo! Nanggigigil ako sayo, alam mo 'yon?" sagot ni Lucas.

"Alam ko, I did the worst thing. But it was the only way." sagot ko.

"No, there are other ways, hindi mo lang inisip." hirit ni Seph.

"Sandali, hindi pa ako nakakapag explain!" sagot ko.

"Game! Make sure na magiging justifiable 'yang explanation mo. Kung hindi... nako ka talaga!" hirit ni Lucas.

"I was using Harry so that he will fall out of love... para mawala ang feelings niya kay Chester. I knew it back then sa tuwing matatagpuan ko silang magkasama, there's something going on between them. Sa oras na ma fall out of love si Harry, I knew that I'll have the chance to breakthrough and to capture Chester's heart. Alam ko it won't be an easy ride, and may masasaktan akong tao, but I have to do it, since If I can't be with Chester, then nobody else can." I explained.

"T*ng *na mo, Joker. Pwede pasapak isa? Hindi, sampu! Bakit naman gano'n, pre? 'Di ka ba naaawa sa tao?" hirit ni Lucas.

"Naaawa ako, pero kailangan ko lang gawin 'yun. Either hindi ko makuha si Chester o walang makakakuha sa kanya." I answered.

"Why? Why si Chester?" tanong ni Seph.

Flashback

Chester was my old childhood friend since we were young although I'm 2 years ahead of him, our ages didn't matter to me. Magkaibigan ang parents namin and his parents were always out of the country, that's why Chester was always staying out our house. Para ngang doon na siya nakatira sa bahay namin at ako na rin ang naging nakakatanda niyang kapatid since only child lang siya.

Madalas din wala ang parents ko because of work, that's why kami lang ni Chester ang madalas magkasama noon. Ako ang nag alaga sa kanya when nobody else was there for him. We were so young back then, he was 6 and I was 8, but I already have a mind of a matured person back then since my parents taught me to be independent.

As time goes by and lumaki-laki na kami, I developed a feeling for Chester and I thought it was an unconditional love or just a brotherly love... but akala ko lang pala. I became so attached to him that I wanted him more than anybody else. Para sa akin, he's still the old little child na inaalagaan ko and ayaw kong iwanan and I want him to be mine for the rest of my life.

I knew that Chester was straight so hinayaan ko na lang noon if he falls in love with a girl. Kinukwento niya sa akin madalas but then, afterwards, they'll break up since gumagawa ako ng paraan for his relationship not to work. Isa pa, Chester doesn't really know how to love, that's why it was easier for me to make my move, to make sure na walang tatagal sa kanya.

He never knew my true intentions up until now. Hindi niya alam na matagal na akong may lihim na pagmamahal sa kanya. Since he's straight, I needed to cover it up at akala ko he was homophobic since he doesn't like gays...before. That's why I've decided to fake it up with Alaiza to make sure na Chester won't notice it that much and hindi ako mabuko. Because once na malaman niya na I'm not straight and I have a crush on him, magugunaw ang mundo ko at lalayuan niya na ako, and I don't want that to happen.

Pero recently, noong napansin ko na he's with Harry a lot, I had a hunch that maybe something was going on between them. So matagal akong nagmatyag sa kanila, hanggang sa malaman ko kung may namamagitan ba sa kanila. I needed to know if may gusto siya kay Harry, and if yes, then I know that eventually, magkakaroon ako ng chance.

So, with Alaiza's help and skills when it comes to relationship with 2 guys, that's when I knew that there was really something going on between Harry and Chester. I decided to make a move to make sure that Harry will fall out of love kay Chester since it's the only way. I know that Chester won't like me right away since he sees me as his older brother only.

It was easier to bait Harry lalo na nang maramdaman ko na he was too desperate for love. In just a day and a half, I was able to do my job so easily that nashift ko agad ang attention niya sa akin.

I was so happy since I was able to make sure that Harry won't have feelings for Chester anymore. Kaso, it was the darkest moment for me when I saw Chester kissed Harry... twice. It's not Harry that's inlove with Chester anymore... It was Chester already. From that moment, I knew that Chester had learned to love already. He doesn't kiss anyone, even with his past relationships. But when I saw him kissing Harry, I knew Harry was different.

He changed Chester.

I was so damn jealous because I wanted that kiss from him for a long time. I want him only for me and nobody else. Akala ko, making Harry fall out of love with Chester would easily solve my problem but it isn't. It was more than that. Hindi ko kasi alam na Chester would fall in love with a man. I never thought in my life that, that would happen.

When I saw them kiss, I said that I left but I didn't. I watched them both from a place that they won't see me. It was the first time that I saw Chester cried. It was the first time that he begged for love.

Nasaktan ako...

Nasaktan ako since he was begging for Harry's love and at the same time nasaktan ako since I don't want to see him crying.

I know that he's a really strong person but seeing him in his weakest was way too much for me. And from that part, noong makita ko na ganoon siya kay Harry... I knew at that moment... na talo na talaga ako. Alam ko na I won't be able to capture Chester's heart anymore and that he will continuously fight for Harry's heart.

Kasalanan ko ito, and I won't forgive myself for making the man I really love to cry and beg for love. I realized that I was too greedy for that the love he really wanted and I was taking it away from him. I was too selfish na sarili ko lang ang iniisip ko na gusto ko sa akin lang siya and I don't want anybody else to touch him.

Seeing them kiss was too much for me... but seeing him being sad, was the worst. I do not deserve him anymore and that's what I realized. Chester doesn't deserve a sh*t like me. He deserves better... and that's Harry. He deserves to be loved by Harry more than anyone else.

End of Flashback

Natahimik sina Seph at Lucas sa kinuwento ko at hindi nila alam ang sasabihin. Kahit ako, hindi ko rin alam ang sasabihin ko na eh. Since Harry has fallen in love with me and I've given up on Chester, I don't know what to do now. I don't know how I will say na lahat ng pinapakita ko sa kanya, it was all just a show.

"Ace?" Lucas suddenly said and stood up.

Tumingin kami sa labas and we saw Ace standing in the middle of the rain and he was so furious.

Pumunta kami sa labas para puntahan siya at papasukin sa loob ng mini pub house when suddenly he shouted...

"You piece of sh*t!"

I don't know who he was referring to... if either Seph or Lucas.

But then, he suddenly ran towards me at sinapak niya ako sa may bandang labi at nagdugo ito.

"Ace, bakit mo ginawa 'yan?" tanong ni Lucas.

"Because your lowly sh*t friend deserves it!" Ace shouted.

Did Ace knew? Did he heard my story?

"Kulang pa 'to! I want to choke you and I want to throw all the things that I can carry!" Ace shouted again.

"Ace!" Seph shouted.

"No, Ace is right. I'm a lowly piece of sh*t and I deserve this kind of treatment." I said.

"So what now? Ikaw ang api? Ikaw na ang sadboi? Hindi mo ba alam ang ginawa mo? You messed with both their heart and mind! Mali pala ako ng pagkakakilala sayo! So what now? Anong gagawin mo kay Harry? He's f*ckin into you right now that he left Chester for you! Anong gagawin mo? Iiwanan mo sa ere? Tatakasan mo? You'll say sorry? It's not you and it's me? F*ck you!" Ace shouted and he got more furious.

"I'm sorry, Ace. Hindi ko naisip na ganito ang kalalabasan—" I said but then I was interrupted again since someone punched me again... and this time, it was Chester and he was so furious as well.

I was looking at his face and he was so angry. This is the first time that I saw him really furious and sa akin pa. I always see him looking at me smiling and with full of respect. I don't want to see that kind of Chester na galit na galit sa akin. I won't be able to take it.

He didn't utter any word but just by looking at his eyes, I know that he's cursing me right now. I bet lahat ng masasakit na salita, sinabi na niya sa akin sa utak niya.

"I hate you. I don't want to see you in my life... ever." Chester said.

He didn't even shouted when he said that, but it was too much for me to handle. Him saying that he hates me and wants me to disappear was the most heartbreaking for me... but I know I deserve it. I was too dumb to play with their hearts. And now, I'll suffer the consequences.

Then, someone ran towards us and stood in front of me at nakatalikod siya sa akin and he was facing both Ace and Chester.

"Tama na!" Harry said.

"No, Harry, this sh*t needs more! 'Wag mo nga siya protektahan! He doesn't love you! He was just using you!" Ace shouted.

Chester was about to give me another punch but then pinigilan siya ni Harry.

"No, please, Chester, stop!" Harry shouted.

"Really, Harry? Ipagtatanggol mo pa talaga siya? Pinagmukha ka niyang tanga! Pinagmukha niya tayong tanga! Tapos ano, gusto mo pa magpakatanga ulit? Wake up!" Ace shouted.

Chester didn't utter a word and pinipigilan pa rin siya ni Harry from punching me.

When Chester decided to stop, humarap sa akin si Harry... and I saw the old Harry with his eyeglasses on. At this moment, I know that he has now chosen Chester again over me.

Harry smiled at me and said "Thank you."

"Harry! Why would you thank the person who made you look like a fool? Ano pinanindingan mo na talaga ang pagiging tanga?" Ace shouted.

Harry looked at Ace and smiled at him.

"Seriously, Harry? You'll choose this sh*t?" Ace asked.

"I've realized... that the love that Joker gave me... was too good to be true." Harry said. "Hindi ako galit sayo, Joker." he said and smiled at me.

"What? Talaga? Harry! Gusto mo sapakin din kita para magising ka sa katotohanan?" Ace interrupted.

"No, Ace. I want to thank him for making me realize that I needed to love myself more and hindi ko kailangan hingin to sa iba since eventually, I know that someone will love me and give the love that I deserve." Harry said to Ace, then he looked at me, "Thank you for making me realize it, Joker. That the love you were giving me was too good to be true. Kailangan ko lang matauhan eventually before it's too late."

"I'm sorry, Harry... I'm sorry na pinaglaruan ko ang feelings mo."

"I may not be able to forgive you yet, Joker. But again, I want to thank you dahil natauhan ako." Harry said.

Harry's POV

I heard it all, I heard every details... It was too painful, yet satisfying.

It's what I've needed... truth.

I realized that I was being too naive. I gave up too easily and hindi ako nag-isip.

Actually, I was not really mad about what Joker did to me. I needed that and mas okay na sa kanya ko na mismo narinig.

Although this does not mean that I'm throwing all of my feelings for Joker. My love for Joker... it's still there, but I'll be keeping it as a memory.

As for Chester... I want to start a new and fresh feeling.

Ayoko na ng dati, at gusto ko ng panibagong simula, panibagong bukas. 'Yung wala nang mananakit at wala na rin masasaktan.

It made me realize that I should've loved myself first before loving someone else. That way, hindi ako masisira ng tuluyan before it's too late.

"I'm okay. No need to worry." I said and smiled to all of them.

I grabbed Ace and Chester's shoulders.

I don't want to lose our friendship over this thing called "Stupid love" if I'll lose someone so important to me.

"Let's go. Uwi na tayo. Pagod na ko, I just want to rest." I said to both Chester and Ace as we started to walk.

I smiled at them and I was on the verge of crying but I didn't want to.

I wanted to be happy.

"You're home, Harry. Welcome back." Ace whispered and smiled.

"Thank you, Chester and Ace." I said.

Chester did not say anything and he just smiled at me so peacefully.

"If you want, I can give him another punch?" Ace said.

"Baliw, Ace." I said.

After that twisting of fate night, kinabukasan, it was the last day of retreat. I thought that this retreat was to help those who are in need. But in fact, it helped me instead. Ako pala ang nangangailangan. Nakakatawa lang!

We were watching Kuya Lucas giving his closing remarks to all the villagers since after this, magkakaroon ng dinner para sa lahat and uwian na afterwards.

I thought that this retreat would turn to a nightmare, but then, it gave me a new morning for me to wake up. I feel so refreshed, happy, and important.

Pagkatapos kumain ng dinner, I went to the grassy patch again and stood up in the middle to watch the beautiful night sky for the last time before we leave this place... the place where I realized how to love. I thought that alam ko na magmahal before, but hindi pa pala and marami pa pala akong dapat matutunan.

"Harry..."

Someone from behind me called my name and when I looked back... it was Chester.

Nakaluhod siya sa akin and nakatingala siya at nakangiti sa akin..

"Huy! Bakit ka nakaluhod diyan! Tumayo ka nga! Gray pa yang pantalon mo tapos kung makaluhod ka sa lupa!" I exclaimed.

He just smiled at me and he gently grabbed my right hand.

I don't know what Chester wants to do...but then he said...

"Harry, pwede ba kitang ligawan?"

After he said those words... I cried.

I cried because I was not lonely or sad... it's because I was happy... too happy.

But then, I learned my lesson.

I removed his gentle grip from my right hand and wiped my tears and I said, "Good luck, Chester!"

I smiled at him and left him kneeling in the grassy patch.

While I was walking away from him, he shouted, "Ibig sabihin ba, pumapayag ka na ligawan kita?"

I didn't answer Chester, but in my mind... I want to see how Chester will be able to capture my heart once more. Nasakanya na ulit ang puso ko, but I just wanted to make sure this time and how will he do it.

"Silence means yes, Harry! Bahala ka d'yan! Hindi mo na ko mapipigilan! Sisiguraduhin ko na makukuha kita ulit! Makikita mo!" Chester shouted.

"Wag puro salita... gawa gawa din!" I shouted and looked back at him. This time, I had the courage to look back.

Back then, I didn't want to look back at him since I don't want to see him crying and begging for love. But now, I want to look back and seeing him smiling, while begging for love.

It was the most happiest day of my life. And that's how Chester and I started again. And I know for sure, na hindi na ako magsisisi.

Thank you, Chester, for not giving up on me when I already gave up on you. After all, you were still the strongest person I've ever known. Stay strong and I'll be stronger than ever and hahabol ako sa inyo ni Ace.

End of Chapter 29