Who am I

I walk through a dimly lit hallway, there are a lot of doors but every one of them is locked. I hear voices talking and I walk towards them. I see an open door and I walk through it. It's a room and I can see people laughing. I assume these must probably be the Avengers because I recognize some of them. They are dressed in ballroom clothes but I don't question it. The door behind me slams shut and rain starts to pour out of the ceiling. I feel a sting in my arm and the woman named Shuri injects something into me. "Just so you won't fight it." she says with a big grin that gives me chills. I feel dizzy and when I try to grab something to keep me up everything disappears and my face hits the ground. Before I know it Strucker is standing over me. "Do you really think you can escape me?" he laughs. The Avengers start laughing along. "Time to come home 507." No, no, no, no, no! Not again! He grabs my hair and pulls me away from here, into the darkness.

I wake up, screaming. Sweat is covering my body and it feels as if the sheets are strangling me. I have the impression that I can't see, everything is a blur. "No!" I scream. "No!!" I wave my hands around me, want to pull the tubes out of my skin. That's when soft hands get a hold of my wrists and green eyes appear before me. "It's okay baby, it's okay. You are safe, look at me." I'm trying to concentrate on her and focus only on those green eyes but I can't help having the feeling that I am in danger. I expect Strucker to appear with that evil grin on his face. My heartbeat is going up again and tears are dripping down my cheeks. "Posmotri na menya dorogaya (look at me darling)." She says in Russian. Hearing those words helps me to get back to the present. "Eto ya, Wanda. Zdes' ty v bezopasnosti. YA ne pozvolyu nikomu obidet' tebya. Prosto sdelay glubokiy vdokh. (It's me, Wanda. You are safe here. I am not going to let anybody hurt you. Just take a deep breath." I take some deep breaths and slowly my heart rate is calming down again. Wanda lets go of my wrists when she notices me relaxing a little bit. "Is it okay if I sit on your bed?" she asks, going back to English. I nod but I can't help it that something is bothering me, scratching the back of my mind. "It's okay darling, Strucker is not going to get to you here. I will make sure of that." She ensures me. Wanda wants to continue talking when realization hits me, she has a Sokovian accent… I gasp and look at her with big eyes. "What is it?" she asks. I point towards her, and try to speak for the first time in years. "S-s-sokov-v-via?" I ask, my voice is shaky and hoarse and talking hurts my throat. For a small moment she looks taken back, but she quickly pulls herself together and smiles at me. "Yes, I come from Sokovia. You too?" I nod my head. It's quiet again, beside the never ending beep of the machine. I don't know what to say and I get nervous. Wanda catches on to this, so she starts talking again. "It's really good to hear your voice darling. Why didn't you talk to us?" I want to tell her, I want to explain the years that have passed. But just saying that one word hurt me like hell, how do I give her an explanation that long. An idea hits me. Maybe I can allow her in my head. The idea scares me but she is giving me the feeling that I can trust her. I point towards my head, hoping she will catch on. She looks at me while tilting her head, confused at first but it seems that she is starting to understand me. "Do you want me to read your mind?" she asks. I nod. "Are you sure about that? I will never do something against your will." I nod again, I was sure. I want this strange woman to understand me. "If you want me to stop, just let me know and I'll let go." She assures me, while sitting a bit closer to me. She holds out both of her hands: "Put them on mine." I stare at her hands for a minute, she is giving me the control and that is a scary feeling. I notice that she is wearing a lot of rings, this emphasizes her long fingers. I slowly put my hands into hers, they are shaking and when she notices this she starts to draw circles on them with her thumb. I expect her to immediately infiltrate my mind, but she doesn't. For a while we just sit there, her using my hands as a drawing pad and me softly calming down, getting used to the sensation. "Are you ready?" she asks, and I nod again, this time with a little bit more certainty.

I close my eyes and I can feel her red strings reaching out to me again, slowly pushing again my mind barrier. It takes me a couple of seconds before I let her through, doubt filling me. I expect her to immediately go through my head and get all the information that she needs, but she doesn't. She just let's me get used to her presence, a warm feeling filling me from head to toes. I realize that this is her I feel, Wanda just radiates warmth. "Can you feel me?" Her voice goes through my head when she asks me this question, it's as if it is filling every inch of me. "I know, it's a one of a kind experience." She replies and I realize that it are my thoughts she hears. "You can concentrate your thoughts on the thing you want me to hear. Let your mind build your thoughts into words, you are the one who is in control." "I'm not." I think. I feel her smile. "Not yet, but you will be. Just give it time." A quiet pause hangs between us but it's not uncomfortable. "You wanted to know why I don't talk?" my mind forms the words. Even though I can't see it, I can feel that she is nodding. "If you feel comfortable sharing that information with me, yes please." For a moment I just let myself drift around in the mind link. "I haven't talked since the day after they captured me." I share with her and I can feel her get somber. "I didn't want to give them that pleasure. I didn't want to give them even more control over me than they already had. So I stopped talking." Understanding flows between us, and something else… I'm not sure what it is, but it feels as if she is proud of me. "That's very brave of you." Her thoughts say. I simply raise my shoulders and let them fall back. "When I just tried talking to you, it hurt my throat so much… I want to talk but I don't want to be in even more pain." She understands. "I'm sorry talking causes pain, I will talk to Shuri about that." I am thankful, I have the feeling I can trust her. "How long have you been captured?" she asks me. "I don't know. After a couple of days I lost track of time." She understands. "How old were you when he took you?" I try not to but immediately my thoughts go to that fateful day. The explosion, my mother her dead eyes, the fire. "Don't look…" I whisper pathetically. I don't want her to see these things, when I share them I want it to be because I want to. I don't expect her to listen so when I feel her turn around in my head, looking at another direction, I'm stunned. "You listened…" I whisper. "Of course." I take a moment to recollect myself. "I think I was 9." I can feel a little bit of shock ripple through her, when you are in each other's mind you can't hide a feeling like that. "9…" she repeats my words. I feel uneasy, I must have said something wrong. "You didn't." I look up. "Do you have any idea how old you are now?" Sadness fills me. "I don't." I look to the ground, embarrassed. "Hey, hey, it's okay milyy (sweetie)." She gives me a comforting smile. "How about telling me your name?" My name… I turn back into myself and start crying. Softly tears drip on the bed sheets. "It's okay, take your time milyy. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I breathe in and out, trying to calm myself down. 507… "They used to call me subject 507." I tell her quietly. I can feel her looking at me, understanding flowing through her. "They called me subject 221, and my brother 220." She confides in me. I look up, look up to the red storm that is her. "You… you were captured by Hydra?" I ask. "Captured? No. But I was a prisoner none the less." So she was one of the people who had volunteered… "Yes indeed. But did you call yourself that way? 507?" No… "No." "Then what was the name you used before Hydra put you into a cell?" I take some seconds, it has been years since anybody has used that name, myself included. "It's… it's Lidiya." I whisper. "Lidiya…" she repeats the name. "That's a very beautiful name." I can feel myself blush. "Thank you." We spend a couple more minutes connected to each other, I am enjoying her presence. Not being alone anymore for the first time in years. Then I can feel her pulling back softly, disappearing out of my head and giving me the space to be alone again.

I open my eyes and look at her. She is staring back at me but not in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. She is still holding my hands and gives me a small squeeze before putting them back on her lap. "Thank you for sharing these things with me Lidiya." I smile at her, this is the first time since that horrifying day that I smile again. "W-wanda." I croak out. She gives me a smile that makes my heart squeeze together. "I'm here Lidiya, you are not alone anymore. I promise"